


Little House

by Dyed_Memoirs



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Murder, Mystery, Psychological Trauma, Slice of Life, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-01-06 19:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyed_Memoirs/pseuds/Dyed_Memoirs
Summary: On the year 2008, a group of friends had become estranged after a terrible event. Ten years later, they are still carrying their scars and stories. Because in some cases, your past never really leaves you, but only continues to haunt you.Inspired by the song "Little House" by The Fray.Crosspost from AFF:  https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1390671/





	1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

 

**_December 2008_ **

It was a cold and dark December, particularly, the solstice—the shortest day of the year. The sun barely shone, appropriately so. Even the very symbol of warmth and life failed to show its face. All hopelessness and evil had eventually triumphed, it seemed.

Down on the land of the distraught, a ceremony was held, and huddled close together were men and women and a few children in black. Like a conspiracy of ravens, they watched closely as the dead was dragged to the site of consuming fire. All the grim and pale faces… they were as lifeless as the soulless body prepared to be cremated in that coffin.

_Did she deserve the terrible life she lived? Did she deserve this death?_

_“May her soul rest in peace.”_

They say that about the dead, but they never say it to the living souls in turmoil.

_Were they implying that the living cannot find peace?_

_._

_._

_Hm._

Amongst the living souls that stood still in the midst of the mourning were three young girls: Soo-Young, Seungwan, and Yeri. Two of them were in middle school and the youngest was still in grade school. They were too young to be in this position—to be grieving over a friend, _a sister_.

_Nothing will ever be the same again._

 

At the same time in a different place, a suitcase was opened and piles after piles of clothes and other items were carelessly thrown in. A girl’s sniffs and hiccups filled the tiny room as item after item was thrown down into the bag. It was not long until she was unable to hold the building anguish.

Then, an inevitable wail.

She fell on the floor crying beside her mess of a suitcase. As she cried all alone, a dear friend’s voice echoed from her memories, _“Seulgi, I hope you never get to be like me.”_

.. .... . ...............

_I can’t stay here anymore._


	2. Greener Grass

 

**CHAPTER 1**

**Greener Grass**

 

 

**_January 2018_ **

Loud shots were fired in the air. Luminous, blinding sparks flew in all directions, signalling the peak of tonight’s festivities. Screams of horns and trumpets echoed as the night sky became painted by an obnoxious neon puke of everything—the lights, the smoke, the noise, the madness…

“ _Frohes Neues Jahr!_ ” the people cheered. It seemed the streets of downtown Salzburg had been flooded with energetic, excited celebrants that midnight. Soon, the church bells began ringing, and a small orchestra began to play Strauss as the streets turned into one wide dancefloor. The—

Suddenly the TV screen went black. Slim fingers placed down the remote control on the glass coffee table, and in exchange, a wine glass half-empty-half-full was lifted up to one’s plump, red lips. The glass met her with a light touch, intoxicating her with every little drop of the crimson elixir. But not so much that she was out of touch with reality. It was the opposite, in fact. Her senses were on fire. Every little thing—the air, the muffled noises, the minuscule dust particles, the ticking clock—began to prick her little sensitive being as she sat there on the couch in front of the television all alone.

“새해 복 많이 받아 슬기야…,” she slurred to herself in Korean.

_Happy New Year, Seulgi…_

“Well, whaddya know…,” she muttered (in Korean) as she tried not to fall into sleep oblivion with her half-open eyes. “It’s already 2018… two-thousand… eighteen… Two-thousand… and eight… Two-thousand-eight… 2008…”

She stopped. Her two eyebrows jerked up, dragging her lazy mono-lids up along with them. Her dark eyes drifted to the wine glass that was still loosely sitting between her palm and fingers. With a little flick, the deep crimson liquid swirled. And it swirled again. And again. Finally, she drank the rest of it and placed the glass back on the table.

“2008…,” she uttered once more. A sigh escaped her lips as she turned her head to the window. Outside, a glimpse of the downtown fireworks could be seen from afar. “…It’s been almost ten years since then. _Ten years._ ”

Finally, her lids dropped over her eyes. She comfortably leaned to the pillow on her side with her eyes closed, trying to gain stability from the effects of the dizzying alcohol. There in the middle of a festive night, Kang Seulgi fell asleep all alone in a hotel in Salzburg with one eminent thought in her drunk mind—the year 2008. Unusual. On a New Year’s Day. In 2018.

There in the same hotel room was a half-open, slightly rummaged baggage lying by the bedside. And on the bed itself was a Polaroid camera, a DSLR camera, and a few other camera parts (lenses and equipment). Getting drunk in her room was never the plan for this lively evening. She had a job to do, and she missed it. She worked for a magazine published in Vienna, and her assignment was to take photographs of the New Year’s celebration in Salzburg for their monthly photo journal. Missing the highlight of the evening could only mean repercussions to her job reputation.

And that’s exactly what happened.

“How could this happen?! We needed those shots! What are we going to publish now?!” The boss yelled at her in German after she got back to Vienna from her failed Salzburg trip.

“I’m sorry” was all she could muster.

“We sent you there on the job—paid for the transportation and hotel and everything—and all you can say is you’re sorry? New Years Day doesn’t come twice a year, mind you!”

Needless to say, that was how she lost that job.

 

_And it was all because of a painting._

 

On the day of New Year’s Eve in Salzburg, Seulgi decided to kill some time and spend the day wandering around the city while taking photos. She took snap after snap of random little things: a girl with a purple balloon, a group of nurses heading out of a hospital, a couple walking a dog, a family eating a baguette together, and a bouquet of sunflowers on display at a flower shop—all of which were daily life scenarios. She loved capturing life as it happened. Just like the impressionists and naturalists of the 19th century, she found beauty in simple everyday scenes. They reminded her that there was a bright side to life, which is why they were the subjects of her art. And here in Europe, there was plenty of inspiration and even more opportunities.

As she wandered down the cobbled streets and small alleys, a small art museum housed by one of the older blocks of the city stood before her, beckoning her to have a look. Since she had all the time in the world before the New Year’s celebration, she thought, why not? An artist like her needed to keep looking for ideas and inspiration, and that included learning from other artists. And so, she gladly accepted the invitation.

The paintings in the small gallery were pretty and impressionistic, mostly of scenery and nature, like imitations of Monet and Renoir. As she was leisurely enjoying her browsing, a particular painting caught her eye. It was a painting of a lotus pond under a bright and sunny sky. The colours and the details depicted a serene view with mallards and swans lazily afloat the waters. On the bottom, it was titled _“Frieden”_ or in English, “Peace.”

_Peace. What a familiar word._

_Peace._

_Peace…_

_Rest in… Peace._

All of a sudden, vague images and memories began flashing before her eyes: her childhood, her hometown, her friends, and _the year 2008_. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stood there in silence for a few minutes with the word “peace” replaying in her throbbing head. Suddenly she felt nauseated like the world was spinning faster than the speed of light. Life was sucked out of her soul, and the rest of it was drowned by alcohol later in the night.

_2008…_

_2008 was a terrible year._

So it was. For ten years she tried forgetting about that damned year. Why else would she be all the way out here in Austria for? Why else did she work so hard to learn German and to prepare her portfolio in high school? It was all so she could get into an art school in Vienna far away from her past. It was all so she could start over and live a new life. It was all so she could forget. And that was exactly what she had been doing for the past five years here in Europe.

Riding her train of thought induced by her drunk state of mind, she began asking herself, _What the hell am I doing here? Am even I happy here?_

The more she analysed her situation the more confusing it seemed. She was either better off or just worse. Here in Austria, she was doing everything she ever wanted and it was great. She may have just been starting her career, but it was going well and she was earning enough to get by. During her travels, she has met many great people and experienced many great things. Even her photographs serve as evidence. On the surface, it all seemed as though she was having the time of her life.

However, just as photographs are contained in an artistic frame, there was something else behind the scenes. Beneath the external bliss was a void in her tired soul that could not be filled. The food, the wine, the beer… the flashes, the colours, and even the superficial beauty… none of it filled that void. And yet, she kept herself busy with them. She went to all the important events and exhibitions; she signed up for all the photojournalism jobs available. She created aesthetically appealing art and photographs to distract herself with the thought that bombarding herself “good” things would magically make the negative things disappear. Frankly, all she did was set off on a long lonely journey that physically detached herself from all the people she used to care about. She was so eager to get away from her past and follow her dreams that she left her loved ones behind. It was just on that New Year’s night that she finally realised how lonely she truly had become in the process. When that low point came to Seulgi, all she wanted and all she longed for was to be back home. After she lost that job, she suddenly made a very rash decision. Soon a flight was booked and bags were packed.

_“Hello and welcome this is Korean Air flight JH-143 heading for Incheon, South Korea…”_

_The grass isn’t really greener on the other side. We just think it is,_ 25-year-old Seulgi thought as she stared out of the aeroplane window. Outside were the empty runway and some dead winter grass. Seulgi sighed and closed her eyes.

_Goodbye Vienna. I’m going home._

 

***

**_Thirteen Years Ago: August 2005_ **

On the summer of 2005, 12-year-old (Korean age) Kang Seulgi stepped out of her father’s car and stood before a quaint edifice guarded by a line of dozens of flower pots and shrubs—the place her grandparents called home. Violets, sunflowers, hibiscus, and cosmos—an array of natural beauty all in one place. It was pretty and colourful—prettier than the rest of the neighbourhood, she thought. Some of the other houses had plants too, but her grandparents’ house had the most in the entire block. No, they were not selling any of those, but it sure looked as though they could run a whole greenhouse. The sunflowers seemed particularly friendly to her, for the bright yellow greeted her like sunshine as soon as she stepped into the low gate. She cordially greeted the plant with a smile and headed into the house.

“Seulgi bear!” the old couple in the house exclaimed upon seeing her. She immediately ran into their arms and gave them the biggest hugs her little arms could muster.

After taking all her luggage into the small room in the corner, her father wiped off the beads of sweat on his forehead. “Well, I guess that’s everything.” He then patted Seulgi’s head and bent down to meet her eyes. “You be good now, okay?”

“I will, Daddy.”

“And what did I say about junk food?”

Seulgi sighed and rolled her eyes. “No junk food…”

“And about the vegetables?”

“Eat lots of vegetables…,” she muttered with barely any enthusiasm.

“Good girl. I’ll miss you, my Princess. But don’t worry, your mom and brother and I will visit often.” After one last hug, he walked out to his car and waved her goodbye. “Take care, and don’t get sick anymore, okay?”

“Okay… okay… Don’t worry about me.”

“Bye Seulgi Bear!”

“Bye Dad.”

When Seulgi was young, she was a weak, sickly child. It was easy to blame the junk food and bad habits and a bunch of other factors, but she had been that way since she was born. She got sick often, but it never really bothered her as much as it did her parents. Then at the age of 11, she had acquired a terrible case of tuberculosis. It was a deadly disease for the younger children, and for a kid like Seulgi, it almost took her life— _almost._ After months of meeting with scary doctors and drinking nasty medicine, the kid had come out clean and perfectly well. Her parents still worried about her though, and so they made the decision to move her to the countryside to a small town named Yeonsan(연산/蓮山) where her grandparents lived, to give her a lifestyle change. That meant less pollution, less junk-food, less cable television, no video games, and more fresh air and vegetables. It was not something she initially agreed with, but she could not go against her parent’s wishes. All they wanted was for her to be healthier.

Despite all the changes, she was surprisingly easy to please though.

The moment her father left, her grandfather immediately bought her affection. “So, Seulgi how about we eat some _bingsoo_ , huh?” Bingsoo—a Korean dessert made of shaved ice with fruits and other toppings. Yep, with just that one question, she was convinced that she liked it here already. Anything that was dessert could easily win Seulgi’s heart. With just one bite of the icy goodness, she already forgot the sweltering summer heat and the lack of air-conditioning in the house.

_Pretty flowers and bingsoo? This place is better than I thought!_

However, that happy-camper mode did not last very long. A day later, she realized that the country life was not completely romantic.

During those first 3 days in her grandparents’ house, she had to get creative with her own entertainment. They rarely turned the television on, (there were less than 10 channels anyway and her grandparents did not have a DVD player), and it just sat there in one corner only to be occasionally dusted by her grandmother whenever she decided to clean. The house was pretty small too, so Seulgi could only lounge around either in her room, her grandparents' room or in the empty living room. (The bathroom and the kitchen weren't exactly the best places to hang around.) It became more and more evident with each passing hour that this place was completely, utterly boring. Without technology how did people ever entertain themselves? Talk to plants? (She did not mind talking to plants though, but they’re mute and not very good at conversation, unfortunately.)

The only thing her grandparents had that was actually entertaining was the radio. Since her grandparents only had the radio on most of the time, she figured she should enjoy it too. There, Seulgi sang and hummed along to classics, and would fall asleep on the wooden floorboards while listening to the ballads streaming through the low static.

 

One afternoon, while she was sitting around just singing random tunes, she groaned with a loud frustration that resonated through the house. The odd note did not seem to match her song though.

“Are you okay, Seulgi?” her grandma asked.

“I’m kinda bored.” Good girl Seulgi was no complainer, but it was difficult to keep down her frustration with boredom at this point.

“Why don’t you go play outside after dessert? That would be good exercise for you too. There are some kids who live in the same street. You might meet them out there.”

Following her grandmother’s advice, Seulgi finished gulping down her melon bingsoo and bid the adults in their house goodbye as she left the house for her first adventure. Playing it all by ear, she wandered down a small sloped path in the nearby woods at the end of their street while humming a made-up tune to herself. Down a stack of rocks embedded on a slope, she slowly went step by step, rock by rock, careful not to stumble and fall over. (It would have been disastrous if she unluckily fell off balance at such a secluded, tree-shrouded place.) With every step, the croaks of frogs got louder and the chirps of crickets just the same, while the cicadas continued to dominate the cacophonic symphony. Finally, she hopped off the rocky steps and landed on the grassy base.

Upon looking up from the ground, what she saw completely mesmerized her. There at the far end before her was something shining and shimmering—a crystal blue body of water. The water glistened and sparkled underneath the summer sun, similar to a refreshing glass of blue lemonade. It beckoned her to come closer, inviting her to take a dive into a world of blue wonder.

“Whoa... What is this place? Grandma and Grandpa never said anything about this place...” Seulgi continued taking steps, waddling through the itchy wild grass without even blinking or taking her eyes off the waters. Her young heart beat with excitement and awe, thinking she had discovered the most wonderful place on Earth. The sweltering heat and all the noisy and annoying insects all faded in the background as if nothing else in the world mattered. She was in love. On that very day, Seulgi had made up in her mind that this was her favourite place ever.

As she drifted with the breeze in what seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, Seulgi realised that she was not alone _._ There was someone else who had come there before her. Standing on the rocky shore at the edge of the lake was another girl. She was taller than Seulgi and a few years older; her slender, teenage figure ever so still; the strands of her soft hair dancing with the wind. The girl stood looking over at the glassy waters with enchanting, longing eyes as if her soul had already left past the mountains and swept by the summer breeze all the way to the other side of the lake. The way she looked over the water like a still frame struck Seulgi as odd, yet entrancing at the same time.

“Um, hello,” Young Seulgi greeted her, watching her soft hair strands sway with the summer breeze.

The girl twisted to see who had made the sound. Her shoulder slightly jumped as if she was not expecting to see anyone here. When she spotted Seulgi behind the low, crooked persimmon tree, she said nothing yet stared at her oddly, as if Seulgi had been an unusual forest phenomenon. Seulgi stepped up stumps and hopped down on dusty earth to get closer to her. When she was close enough, the older girl continued to stare her down. Back then, Seulgi used to have thick, wavy hair that turned into an unruly mess whenever she played outside for too long. Sweat also drenched her entire face and neck. She looked rather ridiculous, but for a young child out on an adventure, her own appearance never mattered.

“Now who might you be?” the older girl asked. She tilted her head to the side and curiously blinked her eyes like a raven examining a glittery piece of rock.

When Seulgi got close enough to make proper eye contact, she was amazed. On the unnie’s porcelain face was her expressive brown eyes—round and sweet like a bunny’s, but not without the slightest bit of mystery and melancholy in them. _She’s so pretty,_ Seulgi thought. _I’ve never seen an unnie this pretty…_

“I’m Seulgi.”

“Ah… the new girl next door,” the girl muttered to herself. Seulgi heard it.

“You know me?”

“It’s a small town. The street is even smaller. Flower pots, right?” She spoke softly and was too brief with her words.

“How’d you know? I just moved here three days ago.”

“I live next door. Your grandpa gets loud when he calls your name. I hear it often. And I hear you sing a lot.”

“Oh, yeah, ha-ha… I like to sing.” It was embarrassing to think the neighbours heard her. Seulgi never thought her voice would be _that_ loud. “They say I got my singing from my dad...”

Then it was a very awkward silence. Even the chaotic screaming of cicadas could not mask that awkwardness. So then Seulgi asked, “So, what’s your name?”

“Bae Joohyun.”

“Nice to meet you, Joohyun Unnie,” she said with the sweetest natural smile. She was so glad to meet another girl from the same neighbourhood that she almost wanted to get closer immediately. She has not made any friends yet and Joohyun could be the very first one. And she was a very pretty unnie too. That was why she had this huge smile plastered across her face.

The older girl just chuckled at her though. “What are you doing here? Won’t your grandpa or grandma be calling out to you again?”

“I don’t think so.” Seulgi animatedly shook her head. “They won’t call me when I tell them I’ll be out playing.”

“And you’re playing _here_?”

“I like exploring.”

Judging by Joohyun’s expressions, she seemed to be weirded out by this little Seulgi fellow. “Well, Seulgi, you be careful now. You don’t want to get lost here.”

“It’s okay, Joohyun Unnie, I think I know my way around. I can track exactly where I came from.” She pointed back to the small trail hidden by the trees, then turned back to Joohyun. “What are you doing here anyway?”

She shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Do you just stare out here and do nothing?” Seulgi had a lot of questions.

“I, um, I guess… yeah,” Joohyun uttered as if she was embarrassed to admit it.

“It’s really beautiful here.” Seulgi looked out to the glistening lake, the light in her eyes dancing with the gentle movement of the waters. Although Seoul had Han River and it was a pretty sight too, the undeveloped natural scene of this countryside had its own unique charm. The sky and the waters seemed bluer, and the grass much greener.

“It sure is.” A faint smile formed on Joohyun’s face as she looked at the smaller kid who was filled with awe at the moment. Joohyun turned back to the water and heaved a heavy sigh.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi may have caught onto the teenager’s melancholic mood. It did not seem right. A beautiful view like this could not possibly make one sigh so depressingly like that.

In a moment, Joohyun smiled a little wider and brought her herself to face the smaller kid again. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Seulgi continued staring at her. The older started to look rather uncomfortable.

“Come over here, I want to show you something.” Joohyun suddenly grabbed Seulgi’s hand and led her through the grass and low shrubs.

“Where are we going?”

Joohyun did not say anything. The two of them slowly yet carefully climbed up a rather steep slope, until they had reached a slightly more levelled, elevated area. When Seulgi turned around, she was utterly stunned. On that small elevated area was an even more amazing view of the waters. Unlike earlier, the blooming pink lotuses were clearly visible from where they stood—about hundreds of them huddled in clumps like swans with baby-pink flamingo-like heads and deep green bodies floating on the shallower parts of the water.

“Pretty, right?”

“Oh yes, Unnie, they’re so very pretty!”

“If you look over there,” she pointed toward the mountains on the other side of the lake, “you can see ranges and ranges of endless mountains and hills, and you can also see the reflection of the mountains upside-down on the water.”

It was true. Underneath the wide blue sky were deep blue and green silhouettes of mountains high and low, as far as the eye could see. And right below was the same view rotated 180 degrees reflected on the glassy waters, slightly blurred by the light movement of water. “Wow...”

“That’s why it’s called Keoul Lake because it’s like a mirror. If you think it’s pretty now, it’s even prettier at sunset,” Joohyun told her. (Keoul/거울 means mirror in Korean.)

“Do you come here often, Unnie?”

“I try to come here as often as I can.”

“It must be great to see this often,” Seulgi said as she tried to take in the entire view. It was too lovely to just skim through. “I think I’ll come here often from now on.”

Joohyun giggled, showing her sweet smile while affectionately combing the younger’s thick hair with her fingers. “Do whatever you want,” Joohyun said so softly, almost like a whisper. Her voice sounded cool and calming to the ears—the kind that would likely soothe even the most tumultuous of souls. The soothing sound of her low voice matched the gentleness of her deep brown eyes. Seulgi may have felt slightly embarrassed for no reason.

“Oftentimes while I’m here, I like to imagine what it would be like out there on the other side—what it would be like past those ranges," Joohyun softly said while crouching down to sit on the rock. "A different city, a different world, _a different life_ … who knows? Anything is possible, and maybe anything can happen out there. An endless world of possibilities.”

“Maybe dinosaurs?” Seulgi snickered as she sat beside her, thinking about the “possibilities.”

Joohyun grimaced. “I hope not.”

The kid just laughed, knowing very well that dinosaurs do not exist in those mountains, no matter how cool it would have been they did. “Then what do you imagine is out there, Unnie?”

“Anything _not_ scary. No dinosaurs.” For a moment she sounded playful, but it changed back to her usual sombreness immediately. “But you know what they say, _the grass always seems greener on the other side…_ Maybe there are dinosaurs and other scary creatures out there, but I just don’t want to think about them. It’s just nice to think about good things...”

“I guess.”

Then Joohyun added in an even softer whisper, _“...even though sometimes those good things **may not exist** …”_

Seulgi honestly had no idea how to respond to that.

The teenage unnie then changed the topic. “So, if you’re from Seoul, why’d you move here?”

Seulgi then told her about her previously frail health and the whole idea of trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

“Huh.” The older girl seemed to have scoffed at Seulgi’s explanation as if it was an outlandish reason to move to this small town.

“Why?” Seulgi asked her, not sure why Joohyun scoffed at what she just said about her health.

“What?” Now Joohyun was acting like she did not make that sound.

“You just said, ‘huh,’” Seulgi mimicked her.

Joohyun shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay…” If the mysterious unnie insisted that it was nothing then Seulgi thought she should probably just let it go. She did not want to provoke her or anything.

The whole afternoon was just spent with Joohyun doing _nothing_. Young Seulgi could not have been happier that day, even though they just took slow strolls and sat on rocks without doing much. And though the older girl never really said it, Seulgi got the feeling that her new _unnie_ friend enjoyed her company too. (Or at least that was what she would like to believe.) When it was time for Seulgi to go home before sunset, the two of them walked back together to their little street.

“Unnie, will you be back to the lake tomorrow?” Seulgi shyly asked as they were nearing their home. She had a great time and she wanted to hang out with her again. They were neighbours anyway.

For a while, Joohyun just looked down at her. She seemed to be contemplating her answer.

Seulgi also stopped walking and looked up to meet her gaze. “Well?”

After staring blankly at Seulgi for a good three seconds, Joohyun gave her an answer different from what she thought she would receive. “I don’t know.”

Seulgi's eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

Joohyun looked up at the sky and then down toward their house beside Seulgi’s grandparents’ house. Compared to the flowery bungalow house that Seulgi lived in, Joohyun’s house was much darker in contrast. There were no plants gracing the sidewalk and the brick fencing was higher, making it difficult to see what was beyond. It also seemed to be much quieter. In Seulgi's house, they could hear a soft tune playing through the radio and faint taps of what seemed to be a knife slamming on a chopping board. At Joohyun’s house, it was dead quiet, as if nobody was there. It seemed rather odd.

“I probably need to go home,” Joohyun told her. “I’ll see you again, Seulgi.”

“Okay,” Seulgi said, a little dejected that the day was over. “But I can call you out and ring the bell, right?”

“Um…,” Joohyun bit her lip again and scrunched her brows. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.” She looked serious about it.

Seulgi was thrown off. She thought for sure that they had become sort of friends while they were out there in the lake. “Why?”

“Erm…” She looked in all different directions as if trying to look for an answer. “It’s noisy. My little sister might get startled and wake up.”

“Oh. You have a sister?” Joohyun did not mention any of that earlier while they were together.

“Y-Yes.” She trembled just trying to get that answer out. Something seemed… _off._ Then Joohyun went back to her gentle disposition and caressed Seulgi’s thick mane once more. “I’ll have to go home now, Seulgi. I’ll see you again soon.”

_***_

**_January 2018_ **

“Seulgi!” A man of about three years older waved at 25-year-old Seulgi the moment she got out of the airport. The man’s resemblance to her was uncanny. Same mono-lid eyes, same round face, same aloof expression—it was like someone had run one of them through a photocopier and made minor edits. Anyone with eyes could tell they were obviously related. His personality, however, was not exactly the same. “Damn, Seul, you haven’t changed at all. You still look ugly as hell.”

“Even after finding a stable job at one of the nation’s top companies, frankly, your vocabulary still needs some work.” Seulgi handed him her baggage and went into the sedan. After he finished loading the trunk, the went into the driver’s seat and shut the door.

“Damn, it’s cold out!” he exclaimed.

“It’s good to see you again, Oppa,” she sincerely told him in the sweetest way she could as a sister. “I really missed you and Mom and Dad."

For a second, he flinched at her sudden girliness. Then he patted her shoulder and fastened his seatbelt. “Glad you’re finally back.”

Her brother drove her all the way from the airport to their parents’ house in Seoul where they initially lived ever since they were children (before Seulgi moved with her grandparents). During the whole ride, her brother told her about how he has been doing and how much their parents missed her. After all these years of wandering in Europe, Seulgi felt that warm feeling once again—the feeling of being home.

As they were talking in the car, her brother mentioned something that caught her attention.

“So, you know our grandparents’ house in Yeonsan, right? You did live there for a while back then, remember?”

Of course. Of course, she remembered. She remembered all too well. “I lived there for three years until I was in the second year of middle school.”

“Yeah, that house. Ever since grandpa died two years ago, grandma has come to live with Mom and Dad and sometimes going to our aunt's house, so the house in Yeonsan has been empty for a while. Since then, they’re planning on renovating the place and renting it to lodging tourists and the likes. I suggested that they put it up on Airbnb.”

Seulgi’s eyes dilated as he suddenly pushed the breaks in the middle of traffic. “Airbnb? For _tourists? In Yeonsan?”_

“Yeah. It’s actually a pretty cool location. You should go check it out sometime. It’s only a one-and-a-half hour drive anyway.”

“Who the hell would want to visit that small town? There’s literally nothing there but grass.”

“Well, since you haven’t been there in the past years, you probably have no clue. The development really changed that place. It’s more like a small city now. It’s actually really nice.”

"Hm."

***

When Seulgi arrived in her parents' house in Seoul, she was greeted warmly by her parents. They held her tightly and kissed her cheeks—her mother even shedding a few tears. "I'm so glad you're back, our Baby Bear!" Seulgi blushed red at how her parents still baby-talked her at age 25. She had not seen them in years except through video chat. 

A feast was prepared for dinner on the night of her arrival, featuring her favourite Korean foods—Korean beef, roasted pork belly, fried dumplings, fried chicken, and more. All this pampering and Korean hospitality left her dumbfounded. "Eat lots, Seulgi! You must have missed all these while you were in Europe!" She was so used to wandering all alone in some foreign land that even her own mother tongue sounded so strange. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she felt genuinely happy. She was smiling. She was laughing.

However, later at night, when she was lying all alone in her old room after the festivities, the mood had unexpectedly taken a dark turn. The moment she lay down on her bed, something strange happened. As she stared at the familiar ceiling of her old room, _dreadful images_ began playing before her eyes.

..,,.

_Blood._

_High-pitched screams._

_A body carried into an ambulance._

_. . . ................._

She remembered.

_2008\. In Yeonsan. Joohyun Unnie's house._

She was right there, but in fear, she ran away.

She saw faint memories of moving out of her grandparents’ house and riding back to Seoul with her father.

She remembered crying in this very same room all alone _._

_Guilt. Fear. Regret._

_Joohyun Unnie..._

_._

_._

*

In panic, Seulgi tried to break free from this nightmare, but she was not asleep. She was awake— _wide awake._ There was no use fighting it. When it was over, she dried the tears that soaked her cheeks. She was so frightened that she had not noticed when those tears started falling.

 _They’re just bad dreams,_ she reassured herself. _They’re not real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: *The setting “Yeonsan” IS NOT A REAL PLACE. Some parts of it are based on where I currently live, but the place names are fictional. I made it up and everything else in it, so don’t go looking for it in a map or something. Also, I'll be using Korean age in this fic, which is approximately 1 year older than international age.


	3. Ignorance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not sponsor any of the branded products in this fic. xD

**CHAPTER 2**

**Ignorance**

 

 

**_February 2018_ **

_Here it comes._

_“Park Soo-Young.”_

A strange feeling crept over her as she heard her name announced through those speakers. Every inch of her body still could not comprehend it all. A mess of mixed emotions made her heart pound louder than the music and applause. It was surreal. With confident steps, she solemnly walked up to the platform and greeted the old man waiting up there for her. She stood tall as she stepped into the limelight. An exchange of smiles proceeded after a respectful bow. He proudly beamed at her. Now she could not help but smile even wider. Then he held out his right hand.

“Congratulations, Soo-Young.”

“Thank you so much, Professor.” She then took his hand for a handshake. Then the man handed her a rolled-up parchment held together with a little red ribbon. Goosebumps covered her skin the moment it touched her fingertips. All she worked hard for—all the busy days and sleepless nights’ fruit was finally laid on the palm of her hands.

 _I can’t believe it,_ she thought as she faced the crowd and smiled in front of the camera while holding this important document in her hands. _I’m finally done with university!_

“Congratulations, class of 2018!”

With a quick toss, thousands of black caps flew up and covered the blue sky like black ravens on that sunny winter day. It was the end of a long arduous ordeal and the beginning of a new chapter in the lives of the many graduates of 2018. From here on out, anything seemed possible. An endless world of possibilities awaits.

_Now that university is done, it's time to execute my plan. It's time I prepare to head back to Yeonsan._

***

A month passed since Seulgi came back from Europe. Through that time, she continued smiling for her family's sake and for her sake, thinking it would rid her of the dreadful images she saw in the night. To some degree, it worked. Brainwashing herself into thinking everything was fine had become second-nature to her that even her conscious brain was gullible enough to be convinced.

It was not a long time until she also found a way to make use of her time in Korea by doing jobs and taking clients through the internet. Since she already had plenty of connections in Europe, she continued doing graphic design and digital art for her clients from across the globe. During her free time, she often went out and about in the bustling city of Seoul, taking photographs for leisure. She kept herself busy again as an unbreakable habit to keep herself from lingering on negative thoughts. Sometimes focusing so hard on work can be a powerful form of escapism.

During one of her excursions, she ended up wandering into a university. On that day in mid-February, the university was holding its semestrial graduation ceremony. _Jackpot._ On celebrated days such as this, there were plenty of happy and rejoicing people, which means she could potentially take plenty of good candid shots of people. She walked through the crowds and the overwhelming jubilant atmosphere and knew she was at the right place.

“Congratulations, class of 2018!”

However, there in that very graduation, she saw someone she did not expect to see.

There in the midst of the crowd of people was a young graduate, cradling her black graduation cap and diploma while conversing with some of her fellow graduates. Tall, bright-eyed, and sophisticatedly pretty and smart—she carried herself with a confidence that exudes power. The future seemed bright for her. But most importantly, on camera, she was a photogenic goddess. Seulgi brought her DSLR camera to her eye, zoomed and focused the lens on the lady in black. Seulgi took shot after shot as the ecstatic graduate threw her graduation cap high up in the air.

_She seems awfully familiar..._

_***_

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: August 2005_ **

_“Seulgi, my princess!”_ Little Seulgi heard her father’s voice through the telephone. It has been a week since he left her there at her grandparents’ house. _“How are you my little Seulgi bear? I miss you!”_

“I’m doing fine. I miss you too, Daddy. And Mom and Oppa too,” Seulgi said, twisting her finger around the springy telephone cord.

_“Have you made any new friends? Are there other kids in your neighbourhood?”_

“I think I made a friend… maybe.”

For the past few days, Seulgi had gone out to the lake every day but had not seen Joohyun since. Each day, she would wait at the same place with the hope that Joohyun would come, but nobody showed up. It was rather disappointing, and it bothered her a little, but she still found a way to entertain herself by herself. (That involved plucking wild roses and catching dragonflies.) And yet, whenever she came home to pass by Joohyun's house, her thoughts would end up lingering on her again. Right by the tall black gates of Joohyun's little house was a weather-beaten doorbell button. She had contemplated ringing the doorbell, but she was afraid of causing trouble. Joohyun did warn her against it.

_“Have you been eating lots of fruits and vegetables?_ _I hope you’re having fun even without your Game Cube.”_

“Oh, yeah, I’m doing fine, Dad. You don’t need to worry.” She kind of lied. It was true that she was eating so much healthier than she used to, but she missed playing video games. As much as playing outside in nature was fun in its own right, old habits die hard. She actually missed playing _Luigi’s Mansion_ on the Game Cube so badly. She used to spend hours on that bulky console. It sucked to know that her brother actually got to keep it even though he already had a Playstation2. She was not a complainer though, and just trusted that her parents knew what they were doing by letting her stay here. So far, she does feel healthier without video games. Staring at a screen for hours on end gave her headaches anyway. Now she used all that spare time playing all alone at the lake.  _If only Joohyun Unnie showed up at the lake again..._

 

One morning, her grandfather called her after she just finished watering all the plants in the garden. She hurriedly went to him, hoping she had not caused any trouble. “What is it, Grandpa?”

“You work really hard, little one,” he said to her as he ruffled her hair. Then he pulled out a 10,000 won bill and handed it to her. “It’s a little gift from me and your grandma since you’ve been a really good girl so far.”

“Whoa…” _Money._ She couldn’t believe it.

Since her grandparents needed help around the house, she had taken up the responsibility of watering the plants every morning. At night, strange flying insects she never knew existed made their way into the house as if looking for company so she took up responsibility to get rid of them too. When flies and moths died into the fluorescent lights, little Seulgi had the assignment of picking up their burnt bodies for disposal. Sometimes, she caught and released the beetles that would occasionally invite themselves in the house. As disgusting as that may seem, it never bothered her too much actually. She thought the critters were fascinating.            

Since all she did was look after plants and get rid of bugs, she did not think she deserved the money. But if it was being given to her then she thought she shouldn't refuse such a great prize. With two palms open, she politely and happily received it.

“Spend it wisely.”

 

That day, Seulgi could not wait to spend her money on something. Of course, she had no plans on spending all of it all at once, but she did have an idea of what to buy. For a while, she had been craving a popsicle and Chocopie a lot. Her grandparents did not feed her any junk food at all besides _bingsoo_ , but even that was filled with nothing but healthy fruits and red beans. It was about time she had her dose of sugary, teeth-rotting goodness. Just a bit wouldn’t hurt, right?

Young excited Seulgi ran out and headed straight to the small store at the corner of their street. In the small store was a variety of items messily stacked all over each other in shelves that were too crowded and close to each other. Among the stock were a disarray of snacks, clumps of household items, and stacks of canned goods and boxes. Right outside was an overflow of cheaper deals, water bottles, and one big ice cream bunker. She had been wanting to go there for a while, but she had no money, and she was too shy to ask her grandparents to buy her junk food.

When she slid the ice cream bunker open, she was disappointed. “B-B-Big?” B-B-Big was one of Korea’s classic popsicles made of none other than _red bean_. “What? That’s it? That can’t be it!”

Now B-B-Big wasn't at all that bad. It was sweet, creamy, a bit earthy, and a lot of older generation Koreans love it. Seulgi could eat it if she has to, but it wasn't exactly her number one choice when it came to ice cream. Besides, how much red bean has she had in the past few days? Let’s see… red bean on _bingsoo,_ red bean on rice cakes, red bean on bread… She was absolutely sick of it.

She searched through the pile of B-B-Big to make sure. And luckily, she found an odd one in the small pile of black B-B-Big wrappers. As soon as she saw the only green wrapper in the pile, she gasped. “Melona!” It was a sweet melon flavoured ice cream bar, _guaranteed zero-per cent red bean_.

Suddenly, a hand swooped down and swiftly snatched the melon bar. Before Seulgi knew it, the ice cream bar she was so happy to see had disappeared before her very eyes. “Huh?” When she looked up, she saw this kid who was about her age but was much bigger and taller than her scrawny little frame.

“Hey, I wanted that!” Seulgi argued.

“Too bad. You gotta be faster next time.” The kid had this intimidating expression on her face as she looked down on poor little Seulgi. She reminded Seulgi of all the scary bullies she ever had to deal with in grade school. No, there was no way she could stand up to this girl. Troubled Seulgi did not know what to do. She did not want to get into a fight, so she just stood there like a petrified weakling. So off went her Melona to the counter, bought by some other kid. Not soon after that, the scary girl just left. Now, no matter how much she dug through the small pile of B-B-Big, she found nothing else. Maybe the world was just so against her having excess sugar in her bloodstream. Dejected and feeling sorry for herself, she just went to the basket of ‘情(정) Chocopie’ from the basket by the counter of the store and grabbed three pieces worth 700 won.

While she was counting her change after paying for the Chocopie, someone else came to pay at the counter. “Seulgi?” It was the person she had been looking for in the past week. _Bae Joohyun._

“Unnie! It’s you!” Seulgi was ever so happy to see her that she even forgot about her disappointment about the Melona. She immediately put her change in her pocket and stepped aside so Joohyun could pay. “I haven’t seen you in a while. You haven't been to the lake?”

“You bought Chocopie?” Joohyun said, noting the three pieces of Chocopie Seulgi was hugging and completely ignoring the fact that they haven’t seen each other in a while.

“Yeah. I haven’t had some in a while so I wanted to get some.”

Then she noticed the items that Joohyun just placed on the counter—a pack of chocolate chip cookies and _B-B-Big._

 _Joohyun Unnie likes B-B-Big?_ She did not really want to question other people’s preferences, but she just found it hilarious. In her opinion, B-B-Big is like the popsicle for old people’s tastebuds. “You like B-B-Big?”

“Yeah.” For the first time, Seulgi saw Joohyun smile so widely. She looked genuinely happy as she took her items with her out of the store. Seulgi walked out with her.

“And you like cookies too?”

The light in her eyes disappeared. Her voice became unsteady. “Oh, these are for my little sister,” said Joohyun. “S-she likes cookies.”

“Where is your sister? Is she at home?”

“Yes.”

The two of them sat together on the small bench under the shade right outside the store for a while. Joohyun took out her B-B-Big from the plastic bag and began to pull the popsicle out of the wrapper. Seulgi took a piece of Chocopie and tore the foil wrapper open. _Mmm…_ The soft chocolate-coated cake and marshmallow filling could never disappoint.

Still curious, light-hearted Seulgi then began to ask more questions even with her mouth full. “How old is she?”

Joohyun took a bite out of her frozen popsicle and swallowed before answering in an oddly inattentive manner. “Who?”

“Your sister.”

Joohyun’s eyes shot to Seulgi. Now Joohyun’s previously adorable bunny eyes were looking slightly menacing. She paused for a few seconds like she was studying Seulgi’s face right on the spot. Then she answered in a deadpan tone, “Seven.”

 “Oh... so she's really young.” Seulgi broke off the eye contact and bit on her Chocopie. Then to break the silence, she looked back to Joohyun and asked, “What’s her name?”

Focusing on her popsicle, Joohyun simply answered, “Yeri.” She did not look at Seulgi this time.

예리. In Korean, it meant being “sharp” or “keen.”

“That’s a nice name,” Seulgi told her. In many ways, it was definitely a nice name.

Joohyun did not really say anything after that until she was finished with her B-B-Big. Seulgi sensed that Joohyun did not feel like talking while eating, so she stopped asking more questions even though she was still curious about a lot of things. _What’s your sister like? Why haven’t you been to the lake recently? Why do you like B-B-Big?_ Those questions remain unanswered.

After they were done, Joohyun glanced at her and gave a blithe giggle, changing the atmosphere. “You got chocolate all over your face.”

The twelve-year-old was a childishly messy eater, but that was what made her so cute. “I do?”

Joohyun Unnie, with her sweet, gentle touch, began wiping off the chocolate from young Seulgi’s plump cheeks. “There.”

“Thank you,” Seulgi said awkwardly.

“Seulgi?”

“Hm?” She folded her trash and got up to place it in the bin.

“How come I don’t hear you singing anymore?”

Seulgi stood there a bit surprised. After she met Joohyun at the lake that day, she has kept her singing volume to a low. Something about what Joohyun said bothered her—that _her sister was sleeping. That ringing the doorbell might wake her up._ Joohyun did say that she heard her singing. Seulgi did not want to sing too loud, fearing the neighbours— _Joohyun’s sister_ —might hear. She did not think Joohyun would bother noticing that though.

“I just didn’t want to be too noisy,” she replied.

“Did your grandparents scold you?”

“No. They love it when I sing, actually.”

“I hope you don’t stop. You have a pretty voice.” Joohyun seemed truly sincere about that. Her expressive eyes could really relay a message. It was rather flattering.

“You think so?”

“Of course.”

Feeling a little confused, Seulgi then told her the truth. “I still sing. I just don’t sing too loud. I thought maybe if I sang too loud it would reach the neighbour’s house and it would bother you or your family.”

After Joohyun heard Seulgi’s explanation, she gave a highly amused chortle. Seulgi could not help but smile at the sound of this peculiar unnie's loud, vibrant laughter, although she was not quite sure what was so funny.

“It doesn’t bother anyone, Seulgi.” Joohyun got up from her seat too and prepared to head back with her. After Seulgi had thrown away her wrapper, Joohyun said to her, “Do whatever you want. If you like singing, do that. If your grandparents enjoy it, then don't stop. You're lucky to have them, and they're lucky to have you.”

Maybe it was the heat from the mid-noon sun, but Seulgi blushed red at the compliment. It sure was encouraging to hear that people like her singing.

On the way back home, before Joohyun opened the gate to their house, Seulgi stopped her. With two bony hands, she held out two pieces of Chocopie before the raven-like girl.

“What is this for?” There was a befuddled look on her benign bunny eyes.

“It’s for you and your sister,” Seulgi said, sincerely insisting that Joohyun take it. “I want us to be friends, Unnie. I hope we can get closer. We are neighbours after all.”

Joohyun smiled and accepted Seulgi’s heartfelt gift. “Thank you, Seulgi. You’re a very kind kid. I’ll be sure to give the other one to my sister. I’m sure she will love it. See you next time, Seulgi.”

 

The next day, Seulgi went to the same spot of lakeside again, but Joohyun did not show up. _Again._ Finally, the day after that, she got so antsy that she stood in front of Joohyun’s house staring straight at the wired doorbell button. Back in Seoul, she never had a problem ringing the neighbours’ doorbell whenever she wanted to play with the other kids in her neighbourhood. Besides, other people like mailmen do it all the time. But Joohyun specifically told her not to do it for some unknown reason. If she could not contact her this way, then what else was she supposed to do? Consult a phone book? _Nah…_

 _To push the doorbell, or not to push?_ She secretly plucked one cosmos flower from her grandmother's flowerpots and picked on the petals one by one.

… _To push._

_Not to push._

_To push._

_Not to push._

_…Push._

There were no more petals.

 _Well, it can’t be that bad,_ she thought. _I’m just going to ring the doorbell anyway. I can’t possibly end up in a crazy big mess just by pushing a button, right?_

And so she stood there and took a deep breath to gather all her courage. “Here goes nothing…”

_Push._

Nothing happened.

She tried it again. Nothing’s happening. _Shouldn't it have made at least a faint noise from outside?_ The doorbell did not seem to be working. If it did, she would have at least heard a faint noise. The doorbell was broken.

_So, is that why Joohyun Unnie told me not to ring the doorbell? Because the doorbell was broken all along?_

Suddenly, someone yelled at her from behind. “Hey, kid! What are you doing?”

When she turned around, she saw someone familiar. It was the tall, intimidating girl from the store the other day—the girl who stole her Melona. The girl grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from the doorbell.

“Do you have a death wish?” the girl asked Seulgi.

“I was just—,” Seulgi tried to explain.

“Gosh, newbie…” The girl rolled her eyes. She had such an infuriatingly cocky tone. “Whatever it is, just _don’t,_ okay? Don’t go near that house.”

Seulgi broke free from the bigger girl’s grip. “What? Why?”

“It’s bad. My parents told me not to.”

Seulgi was skeptical. The girl did not really state her case in the most convincing manner. “So what if your parents said not to? They’re not _my_ parents.”

“Trust me. I know you’re new to this town so I’m doing you a favour by warning you with this one.”

“Why should I trust you? You just stole my popsicle the other day!” Seulgi made a pretty good comeback, or so she thought.

“Fine, I’m sorry then.” Suddenly, she took puny little Seulgi’s skinny arm and began to drag her down to the corner of the block.

“Hey! Let go!” Seulgi squirmed and wiggled, trying to get away from the potential bully. She had seen plenty of them in her grade school in Seoul. Unfortunately because of her frailness, she was always the victim of these kinds of horrible kids.

When they reached the store, the girl slid open the ice cream bunker and as if it was magic, the bunker was filled with assorted cones, ice cream sandwiches, and popsicles—not just B-B-Big. Seulgi could not believe her eyes.

“What do you want? World Cone? Samanco? Dwaeji Bar?”

“H-how? The other day it was all just B-B-Big!”

The girl looked at Seulgi as if she was the dumbest human being on Earth. “You don’t know anything, do you? The shop restocks every Thursday. They just filled it in yesterday. Learn it now if you want to survive. Now choose one before my offer expires.”

“A-are you... _treating me?_ ” Her suspicions rose to an all-time high. She had never faced a bully that tried to treat her to ice cream.

“Do you want ice cream or not? Choose one now before I change my mind.”

In the end, they both got their own ice cream and ate together by the bench outside. It was all this mean girl's idea. But was she _really_ mean if she treated her victim to ice cream?

“So, what’s your name?” The girl asked her. “Or should I just call you ‘new kid’?”

“I’m Kang Seulgi.”

“I’m Park Soo-Young. You just moved to the house with the plants, right? I live in the two-storey right across your house.”

The mint-painted house with the brown roof right across Seulgi’s was also an eye-catcher. It was the only two-storey home in the entire block. Needless to say, it was the biggest house in that street. Oftentimes, a huge 4x4 could be seen parked right in front of their house. In Seulgi’s eyes, they were _rich_.

“How old are you?” Soo-Young asked her.

“I’m 12.”

“Oh my god.” Soo-Young cupped her mouth in shock.

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Soo-Young apologised.

“Why?”

“I’m 11.”

Seulgi’s jaw dropped. This huge girl was actually _younger_ than her, but the entire time, this _younger_ girl had been disrespectfully talking down on her. “So, I’m your unnie.”

“So it seems. But I’m still your _sunbae_  (senior) when it comes to this town. I was born here after all.” Soo-Young did not want to lose to this argument—if there ever was an argument in the first place.

Ignoring the slight age difference, Seulgi went back to the main topic. “What do you mean that house is bad? I met the girl who lives there and she wasn’t—”

“Look,” the bigger girl turned to her side to face her, “Haven't you seen the house? It's quiet, dark, and creepy. At night, you never see a single light from it at all. Not even a little bit. They say the man who lives there isn't in his right mind, and that's just one of the rumours.”

At first, this information made no sense to Seulgi whatsoever. She has not exactly noticed what the house looked like at night because she was always in her grandparents' house before sunset to eat dinner. Besides, this was Joohyun's house.  _Joohyun Unnie—nice, pretty, and caring._ Now here was this big rude kid, who apparently lived across the street, telling her that a crazy person was living in the house of her lovely unnie? Why in the world should she believe this crap? This Soo-Young girl might just be trying to scare her or pull off some dumb bullying tactic on her. This ice cream might even be a bribe! (But she continued eating anyway. She didn't want to waste the ice cream.)

“But I've met the unnie who lives there. She's pretty and nice!”

“Oh, her? I've seen her around, but I don’t really know much about her. As I said, I’m not allowed to go near that house, much less make friends with whoever lives in it. It’s just common sense to stay away, I mean, that house looks haunted anyway.”

Seulgi grew quiet. The melting ice cream suddenly did not taste so sweet (but she finished it all anyway). What was this unsettling feeling creeping over her? If Soo-Young’s goal was to frighten the new girl, she very well achieved it. Innocent Seulgi was slightly perturbed. She had no idea what to do with this new information. And now that she thought about it, Joohyun’s house did seem too quiet and lifeless even during daylight. _And the doorbell didn’t even work._

“Anyway, if you went out of your way to ring the doorbell of some creepy old house, you must have been bored out of your mind," Soo-Young said, deviating from the topic. "I don't blame you though. The flowerpot-house is probably the most boring place on Earth anyway.”

"Hey, my grandparents' house isn't that bad."

Then Soo-Young stood from the bench and looked down on Seulgi. “Come with me to my house. Don’t worry, my parents are not home.”

 _Did she just order me to play with her?_ Here was Seulgi, asking for a friend for the past week. Now, this intimidating girl shows up on a silver platter, and she was honestly not sure if she should accept the offer. (Not that she was even given an offer, for it sounded more like a command.) Soo-Young was probably just going to bully her in her house while her parents are apparently not around.

“Well, are you going to get up from that bench or what?”

Seulgi gulped in fear and eventually stood up.

When they got to Soo-Young’s house, she was amazed. Soo-Young’s family had a spacious living room, with a big comfy couch and a huge plasma-screen TV seated in the middle of the built-in shelves that covered the entire wall. In the built-in glass shelves on the sides of the television were a myriad or CDs and DVDs—music, movies, and more. On the shelf above the television were stereos for their surround-sound system, and below the television was a compartment for the satellite receiver and the DVD player. They had the latest gadgets, the latest movie titles, the best air conditioning system, modern furniture, the comfiest couch... Seulgi’s grandparents had _none_ of these. And even in Seulgi’s house in Seoul, the television and CD/DVD collection were not this big. Their house appliances were not this high-tech either.

But as Soo-Young said, her parents were not home. In fact, there seemed to be nobody there but the two of them.  _Do Soo-Young's parents just leave her alone with **all** of these gadgets? Must be awesome!_

Soo-Young dragged her to the stairs that led to a corridor on the second floor. They passed by an open room which Seulgi noticed to be a toddler's room with blue curtains and other blue baby items and toys. "What's that room?"

"It's my brother's."

"Oh. You have a brother?"

Soo-Young pulled her into the next room. "Let's just play here in my room."

Soo-Young's room was large and filled with too many amazing things. She had a study desk and a personal desktop computer, and even a television set. On the pastel-red wall were band posters and photo cards, and a shelf filled with books. On her bed were fluffy throw pillows and dozens of tiny stuffed animals all lined up neatly on the headboard. Clearly, this girl was _very_ spoiled.

As Seulgi looked around, she noticed something near the TV that almost made her cry tears of joy and made her forget everything else that happened earlier in the day.

“Oh my gosh!” Seulgi exclaimed. “A Game Cube!" And right on top of the boxy console was a familiar CD case. "And you also have _Luigi's Mansion!_ ”

“I’ve had that for a while. It’s getting kind of old and boring,” Soo-Young said with a shrug.

“And you have a Playstation2 also! And an Xbox?!”

“I also have a Gameboy Advance SP.” Soo-Young took the small boxy hand-held console from underneath her one of the pillows of her bed and handed it to Seulgi. "I've been playing _Poké_ _mon LeafGreen_ lately."

Seulgi flipped open the screen and flicked the power switch on. “What do your parents do for a living?!”

“My dad is a surgeon in Japan. My mom is an accountant in the next city about an hour from here.” She said that as if there was absolutely nothing special about her parents. She actually even sounded rather spiteful of them.

“Wow. Must be cool,” Seulgi said, not even taking her eyes off the game console. 

“I wouldn’t describe them as ‘cool,’ but whatever.” Then Soo-Young shifted to another topic while Seulgi was busy checking out Soo-Young's Pokémon in _LeafGreen._ "So since you're new around here, I think I should teach you all I know, so you shouldn't have to make dumb mistakes again like trying to ring that doorbell earlier. We should meet up again tomorrow. Although it's Saturday tomorrow, my mom won't be home either so we can do whatever we want. I'll show you around downtown on my bicycle, and maybe we can go to the dog shelter..."

"Your starter Pokemon is Bulbasaur!" Seulgi exclaimed, totally off topic.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?!"

"Yeah, yeah, hang out again tomorrow. I got it," Seulgi said, completely focused on the game. Then she looked up from the screen and said, "Gosh, I'm glad I met you! Let's be good friends from now on!"

 

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for some fun facts! 
> 
> 情(정) Chocopie
> 
> In Korea, one of the biggest Chocopie brands is Orion's "情(정) Chocopie." Now for anyone who doesn't understand Korean or Hanja/Chinese characters, 정 or 情(romanized as "jeong") means something along the lines of "affection" or "attachment" but even those words do not completely capture the essence of it because it's actually deeper than that. For the sake of a simpler explanation, let's just go with those two words. (Though I swear, they're not completely accurate terms. If you know Korean and can explain 정 well in English, please comment lol.)
> 
> Now if you watch the commercials (CFs) of this particular Chocopie brand, they always show heart-warming scenes like friends being together, a family being together, couples etc. especially lonely men from the army (not the fandom), and they're usually sharing or eating Chocopie together. That's because they're using the Chocopie as a representation of "affection" or "closeness" something like that. So if you want to express your affection/closeness to someone or want to get closer to someone, go give them a 情(정)Chocopie. <3
> 
> Yeonsan (연산/蓮山)
> 
> I've mentioned before that "Yeonsan" is a fictional town (not to be confused with Yeonsan Station in Busan). I haven't really explained my reasons for naming the town that way though. I'm sure most of you would have read "Yeonsan" and just paid no mind to it, but I put a lot of thought into the town name so I'm going to add this here. Get ready coz more Hanja and Korean mumbo jumbo lol
> 
> The Hanja I used for "Yeon" (or 연) is 蓮 which means "royal lotus." It's the Hanja for the lotus flower/plant. And the Hanja for "San" is 山 which just means "mountain" but that's not really important coz it doesn't really mean anything other than just "mountain." Korea is a mountainous country lmao
> 
> Sure, it's called Yeonsan because there's a lake with lotuses in it, but that's not the only reason I named it that. The lotus is the kind of plant that grows in muddy/murky water and slowly surfaces above the dark waters to bloom beautifully in the summer without being stained by the muddy water. At night it submerges in the water and comes back up to bloom again in the morning (though oddly the lotuses where I live don't actually do this??? Or I haven't seen it in action... hm. I might have to check that out in the summer). In the autumn, it dies and is completely gone by winter.
> 
> In some cultures, it also represents purity, peace, and rising out of suffering.
> 
> In addition, if the Hanja is changed, the syllable 연 in Korean can also mean "connect" (連) or "love/longing" (戀).


	4. Abandoned

**CHAPTER 3**

**Abandoned**

 

****

**_February 2018_ **

“Looks like the renovation of the house in Yeonsan went off to a good start,” her father brought up as they were eating together at the dinner table.

"So, it really has begun?" As her brother had mentioned a month ago, Seulgi's parents had finalised plans and officially contacted an architect and some contractors to layout and plan the reconstruction of her grandmother's house in Yeonsan. Seulgi just stayed on the sidelines, listening to her parents make plans throughout January and the first half of February.

“Maybe we should all go over there in the weekend. It will be fun. Seulgi, you don’t mind taking a break from your work to do that, do you? It’s only for a whole day.”

“Hm...” Seulgi came back to Seoul because she wanted to be with her family. Going back to Yeonsan was never part of the plan. Last time she checked, Yeonsan was not exactly a place filled with happy memories. She had not been to Yeonsan in ten years. The thought of going back somehow made her uneasy.

 _But if a lot has truly changed, maybe it won’t be so bad to visit,_ she positively thought. 

 

The ride to Yeonsan was as boring as Seulgi had remembered it. There was nothing but long winding roads through mountains, dead trees, and empty fields. The roadside had piles of muddy snow, and the sky was greyer than ever. February may be next to March, but spring did not seem to show any signs of coming any time soon.

In that uneventful ride, Seulgi browsed through her DSLR's gallery, reviewing shots from the previous days. When she came across her photographs of the graduation, she stopped. _That familiar girl..._ She zoomed into the photo and took a good look at the graduate's face again.  _She looks like someone; I just can’t put my finger on it. I know I’ve seen her somewhere before…_ After wracking her brains to no avail, she finally just gave up and turned her camera off to save battery.

 _I wonder what I’ll see there._ Seulgi just sat back and rested her head as she watched the trees zoom past on her window. _The last time I left Yeonsan, it was a cold winter day too…_

Upon nearing the small city, a few institutions were starting to appear here and there. Now the scene was changing. Unfamiliar little details began showing themselves before her.

“See that sign? We’re here!” Seulgi’s father said excitedly.

The car zoomed past the huge stone marking on the side of the road. Carved on the stone were the words, “Welcome to Yeonsan.”

***

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: August 2005_ **

“Hey!”

A grey pebble suddenly flew in through the bars of the low gate that closed off Seulgi’s grandparents’ house from the outside world. The tiny pebble flew toward Seulgi and hit her on the shoulder, causing her to pause her early morning watering. She twisted the small lever of the faucet and threw down the hose on the ground.

“Wow, you’re here early,” Seulgi greeted her new neighbour friend Soo-Young. She did not expect Soo-Young to be so eager to hang out with her already. They had just met yesterday. And right now, it was only 8 am. She had not even had breakfast yet.

“You comin’ out?” Soo-Young had her fists on her hips already.

 _Boy, she’s really impatient,_ Seulgi thought. _But for a bully, she seems oddly nice…_ She really had no idea what to think of this new friend, but it was better than nothing.

“Can’t we go at around 9? I still have to finish chores and eat breakfast.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s an hour from now!”

“Have you eaten though? You can come and have breakfast with us if—”

“It’s fine. I already ate.” Soo-Young angrily crossed her arms. “Have fun with your granny and grandpa.”

“I’ll ring your house when I’m done, okay?”

As Seulgi continued watering her grandmother’s plants, her easily annoyed and frustrated neighbour, Park Soo-Young, marched off back to her house.

Earlier, Soo-Young was awakened at sunrise to the sound of a rumbling car engine from outside her window. With half-open eyes, she watched as the parked SUV took off, and not for long, it was out of sight. When she passed down the hall to the stairs of their house, she saw that her baby brother’s room was also empty. With heavy barefoot steps, she went downstairs past the living room to the kitchen and dining area. In the refrigerator, her breakfast, lunch, and dinner were all in lunchbox Tupperware, readied for microwave heating. Back then, her mother used to make notes and stick them on the refrigerator door, but nowadays she did not even bother.

When her mother came home at around 9:30 p.m. last night, Soo-Young barely interacted with her, just like all the other nights. Her mother was too busy taking care of the toddler and preparing food for the next day to pay any attention to her.

"Mom, I—"

"Soo-Young, can't you see I'm busy?! Go to your room and stop bothering me!"

Again, last night wasn't any different from other nights, and today wasn't any different from all other days. Most of the time, Soo-Young was always alone.

 _“Absolutely nobody wants to be your friend! Nobody likes you, not even your parents! If they did, they would spend more time with you!”_ Those painful words echoed in Soo-Young's head as she sat in their living room in silence. She had once given one kid a black eye because of those words. What was worse was that when she looked around, everyone seemed to agree. This made the insecure little softie deep down inside her harbour a terrible rage. In her head, a nasty offence like this needed to be countered by an equally nasty counterattack. It seemed to be the only logical thing to do at the time.

“Soo-Young, you’re never going to make friends if you give them black eyes,” said the principal after she had been called into the office for punching the daylights out of that kid.

“He deserves it!”

“Soo-Young…,” her principal massaged his temples and ran his fingers through his hair. “If you want people to like you, you have to be nice. Instead of stealing others’ snacks, why don’t you try sharing your snacks and playing fair games with others? Instead of scaring them, try smiling more. Maybe if you did that, you won’t get punished as often.”

Soo-Young refused to believe what had been said about her. So then, she made it a mission to make a friend just to disprove that dumb kid with the black eye she gave. However, since she was infamous for being one of the bullies in town, she just got frustrated. Whenever she _forced_ people into “being her friend” they either turned on her or got scared of her.

But then, this new kid moved to town. _Kang Seulgi_. They almost got off on the wrong foot, but Seulgi was still a completely ignorant little newbie. Soo-Young thought she could _manipulate_ Seulgi into being her friend by doing exactly what the principal had told her—buying her snacks and sharing her toys. She was being nice to her, but she just had an unconventional way of showing it. Good thing Seulgi was a total pushover and was gullible enough to please.

Later, the clock struck 9. After a while, the doorbell began to ring. Soo-Young threw down her Gameboy Advance SP on the sofa and immediately ran out to open the gate.

“Hello!” Seulgi greeted with an annoyingly sweet smile. “I just finished eating.”

“Took you long enough!” Soo-Young scolded her. Despite the harsh way of speaking, she was actually very excited to spend the day with Seulgi. She has not had any real social contact with anyone since summer vacation started. “Let me just get my bike.”

When Soo-Young finally got her mountain bike out of their gate, she saw that Seulgi also had her own bike. It wasn’t an expensive mountain bike and it was a bit smaller, but it had a convenient basket at the front. And it was yellow, Seulgi's favourite colour—the colour of sunshine and sunflowers.

“Oh, you have a bike too?”

“Yeah.” Seulgi walked over to her bicycle and got ready to ride it. “It’s one of the few things I got to bring with me here from Seoul. I figured it would be better to ride separately, so I don’t have to ride on yours.”

“Okay then. Follow me.”

Soo-Young then rode her bike and led Seulgi around their neighbourhood first. As they cycled down the asphalt streets with low semi-brick houses all huddled close together, Soo-Young would point at houses and tell Seulgi who lived where and roughly what kind of people they were. Even the small-town gossip and old folklore—she knew about all of them. The girl gave her too much information. Seulgi could not really memorize most of it though.

“How do you know all of this stuff?” Seulgi asked.

“I’ve been living here since birth, moron. Of course, I know all this stuff.”

After a few turns, Soo-Young led her to one of the vast farming fields. It was a wide, flat area for rice fields, vineyards, patches of lettuce, and other crops. (There were plenty of these fields in Yeonsan. It was a provincial area after all.) Between the fields were small cemented paths for people to pass through. Usually, these paths were not just for the farmers but were also for the ordinary townsfolk to use as shortcuts when walking or cycling to certain places. Seulgi was incredibly fascinated by the small farms. They hopped off their bicycles a few times to look at the flourishing summertime crops. She marvelled at the clumps of big black grapes dangling from the vines; she gasped and jumped for joy upon discovering the balls of peaches and plums clinging onto the low tree branches. It was her first time seeing them up close.

Surprisingly, Soo-Young also knew a lot about seasonal crops and could name almost every plant in the area. She explained the rice plantation cycle of planting in the spring and harvesting in late autumn. She enumerated the seasonal fruits and vegetables for all four seasons. She also explained what the canals in between some of the fields were for and how the farmers use them to stream water from Keoul Lake to irrigate their fields. Clearly, her mind was like an encyclopedia filled with all sorts of random facts about this town, and she made Seulgi seem like a total dunce whenever she pompously recited all these useless trivia. _A smart bully. Definitely dangerous._

At the end of that cemented path, they reached a two-lane asphalt road also surrounded by fields. From that point in the middle of the flatland, one could take in a view of silhouettes of mountains in all directions. At the far end of the fields where they came from, they could see tiny buildings and homes—their small neighbourhood. In a different direction, other tiny buildings could be seen as well, hinting the location of downtown Yeonsan. From there, Soo-Young began pointing to random directions telling Seulgi which road led to where and what to expect there… Overall, there was nothing to see there except more fields.

As they cycled past the fields of green rice stalks on the side of the road, the soothing wind swayed the grass-like leaves in a synchronized fashion—like a tide of ocean waves formed by green grass. This countryside road’s tranquillity and serenity were unequalled, as far as main roads go. Sometimes a car would pass by, but if you dared to lie down in the middle of the road for at least a minute, you could probably survive, for nothing would come around to run you over.

Though that road seemed never-ending, they eventually arrived at downtown Yeonsan where the town hall, traditional flea market, and other small novelty shops and stores were located. It was nothing at all like the downtown areas of the big cities, but compared to their small quiet neighbourhood and the farming fields, this was the hallmark of civilization. As expected, Soo-Young also knew this place like the back of her hand. She toured Seulgi around like a legit tour guide and even bought her street food from the flea market.

“Seulgi Unnie, do you like dogs?” Soo-Young asked as they walked their bicycles down the paved sidewalk.

“Yes, of course!”

“Then come, I’ll show you my favourite place in town.” Soo-Young hopped onto her bike and headed straight down the road. Seulgi followed suit.

When they arrived at Soo-Young’s favourite place, Seulgi was surprised. It was a rather unexpected choice for someone like her.

“A dog shelter?” They stood before the entrance of a small rundown building with a sign above that says, “Sunshine Puppy Home.” From outside, they could already hear the barking and the whining. There were definitely dogs in there.

“It’s where dogs end up going when they are abandoned by their owners,” Soo-Young told her. As she continued speaking, her voice began to soften until she barely sounded like a stone-hearted bully anymore. “When people move away from Yeonsan either to bigger cities or abroad, not all pet owners get to bring their dogs or pets with them. What happens is they end up in places like this.”

“Oh… that’s sad.”

“Sad, but that’s just the reality of how cruel some people are. Anyway, the owner of the shelter allows kids to come and play so that the dogs don’t get lonely. Come on, let’s go see them.”

Upon entering, the bell attached to the door chimed to signal visitors. There in the small reception area, they saw the supervisor sitting behind the cluttered counter, watching a game show on the small boxy television set above a shelf of files. She was fanning herself with a folded newspaper, even though she already had an electric fan on high pointed directly at her. When the supervisor turned away from the TV to see who came in, she immediately got up to greet them.

“Good morning, Soo-Young Unnie,” greeted Soo-Young.

“Oh, hello, little Soo-Young!” The lady immediately flashed a bright smile. Then she focused on Seulgi with her big, round endearing eyes and said, “And you brought a friend this time! Good for you!”

Seulgi awkwardly bowed and said hello as well, though she was not sure what was going on.

Soo-Young proudly introduced her new friend to the supervisor lady. “This is Seulgi Unnie. She just moved here in town a few weeks ago.”

“Nice to meet you, Seulgi! Do you like dogs too?” This lady sounded so energetic and excited.

“Yes,” Seulgi coyly answered.

“That’s good! I’m Choi Soo-Young. We have the same name. She’s like my mini-me,” she said, referring to the younger Park Soo-Young. She was also tall—just like the younger Soo-Young. “I kinda run this place, but as you both can see, paperwork just isn’t my thing.” She pointed to the counter covered with stacks of folders and files. The kids took a glance at it but did not really mind.

“We want to see the dogs!” the 11-year-old Soo-Young demanded.

“Go ahead! They’re all probably very bored in their cages anyway.”

The dogs were kept in a bigger, well-lit room with a few black cages lined up next to each other by the wall. There were about ten dogs kept in here. Upon entering, the excited barking of the dogs was heightened. The little creatures wagged their tails and excitedly paced their little cages. They sure were happy to be visited.

 “Hello everyone!” kid Soo-Young gleefully greeted the doggies and puppies. She ran to their cages and opened up some of them. Dogs of all colours and sizes began crowding around her, licking and brushing against her with all the affection they could give. It was the first time Seulgi saw this sweet, adorable side of her hard-shelled neighbour. Seeing Soo-Young smile and laugh while coddling puppies made her appear to be the friendliest, most warm-hearted person on Earth, and Seulgi just loved the sight of it. She liked seeing people at their happiest.

“I’ll leave you two here while I get back to my paperwork, okay? Have fun!” said the supervisor lady. Then she lightly patted little Soo-Young on the head and winked at her before leaving them. “I’m proud of you.”

Kid Soo-Young had this shy, yet smug look on her face after hearing that. This dog shelter supervisor lady with the same name was actually one of the adult figures that Park Soo-Young looked up to. In spite of the many adults who frowned upon her, Choi Soo-Young always treated her kindly and complimented her with words like “You’re such a great help!” “You’re so sweet!” “I hope you come over more often,” and so on whenever she came over to play with the dogs. Nobody else complimented her on a usual basis. It was only at this place that she actually felt loved and wanted.

“Seulgi Unnie, come here!” Soo-Young beckoned to her. Now Soo-Young began to introduce and name each dog as they sat together on the hardwood floor. Seriously, her memory power was amazing. Like a commander, she also knew how to make all these canines obey her. She could tell them to sit or lie down and they would obey like little minions.

“So, why did you move to this boring old town anyway?” She asked Seulgi while they were petting the dogs. “Did your parents want to abandon you too? Is that why you’re here?”

Seulgi was completely thrown off by that question. “What?! No, of course not! I came here because of my health. They wanted me to live a healthier life and they think letting me live here for a while will help.”

“Tch…” Soo-Young scoffed at her answer, just like how Joohyun seemed to have scoffed when Seulgi had told her the same thing. But Soo-Young added, “Well, you do seem kind of tiny for your age.”

Seulgi looked at Soo-Young’s bigger figure and grimaced. “Ah… I guess.”

“I swear, if you want to be like me, milk will do the trick.”

“Right…” Then it was Seulgi’s turn to ask a question. “What made you decide to come here to a dog pound though?”

“I like dogs.” Soo-Young affectionately hugged a Shiba Inu and gave it a few kisses. “They just love me no matter what. They can’t lie, and when they show affection, they are sincere. Whenever I come, they’re always very happy to see me even though I don’t really have much to offer.” Then she sighed. “I wish I had my own dog.”

“But if you like dogs, can’t you just ask your parents to get you a pet so you didn’t have to come here often?” Suddenly a huge Jindo dog licked Seulgi’s ear, wanting her to pet its golden fur. She happily obliged.

Soo-Young put the Shiba Inu down and looked at Seulgi. “I already did that, and you know what I got? A Tamagotchi.”

“Really? I had a Tamagotchi too. It was kinda fun, but you couldn’t really hug it or pet it except through buttons.”

“I already have four of those.” She said it as if getting all those Tamagotchi was the biggest injustice in the world.

“Oh.”

“My brother is allergic to house pets. That’s why they wouldn’t get me a real pet, but they get me literally everything else so I can't really complain, even if I want to.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Whatever.”

“Though I guess that’s a good thing,” Seulgi said on a positive note. She fell on the hardwood floor giggling as the Jindo dog continued roughly licking her cheeks. “That means all these other dogs in the pound get your love and attention. And look how much better off they are with you and me here! Let’s come here more often!”

Soo-Young lightened up as she watched Seulgi laugh and giggle while playing with the dogs. For so long, she was nothing but upset for not getting her own dog, but now she knew she did not really have to be. She was already happy here with all the other neglected, unloved dogs anyway.

***

 

**_February 2018_ **

Seulgi's dad was right; Yeonsan had changed quite a lot. There were plenty of buildings and establishments that Seulgi swore she had never seen before. Although there were still farming fields here and there, some of those farming areas were converted into apartment complexes, recreational parks, parking lots, and huge grocery stores. Even when they reached downtown Yeonsan, it was barely recognisable. The classic low-rise buildings may have retained their aesthetic, but branded outlets, convenience stores, and fast food restaurants have taken over their premises, moving the small businesses and novelty shops to lesser-known areas of the city. Even the town hall has been rebuilt into a glassy modernised structure, with the addition of an obnoxiously huge LED billboard screen at the entrance displaying PSA’s and government-sponsored ads.

As Seulgi’s father drove through the streets touring Seulgi through the "new and improved" downtown area, they passed by one building with a sign that immediately caught Seulgi’s eye: _Sunshine Dog Café._

“That used to be the old dog shelter you and your friend liked going to,” whispered Seulgi’s grandmother.

Seulgi’s gaze stayed with the dog café until they had left the area.

 _Park Soo-Young... she used to drag me to that dog shelter often back then._ That was when she finally remembered.  _That girl at the graduation—was that Park Soo-Young?_

A lump began to form in her throat.

Her last memory of Soo-Young was not exactly a good one. A few days before she moved back to Seoul in February of 2008, they got into a heated fight.

 _"Why didn't you go to the funeral?"_ she remembered Soo-Young say to her.

 _"Soo-Young, I..."_ She tried to say but fell short. She had no good excuses.

_"So you're gonna leave just like that? How could you do this to Yeri?! To Joohyun Unnie?! I understand you're a coward, but how could you not even show up at the funeral?!"_

_"I can't handle this anymore, Soo-Young!"_

_"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself for being a deserter."_

They had not seen each other since then. All these bad memories were starting to come back to her one by one as they neared their old neighbourhood. 

It was not long until the car slowed down and had come to a stop. Seulgi looked out the car windows and squinted her eyes. Outside was a familiar scene with low semi-brick houses crowding over a small asphalt-coated street. “Is this...?”

“We’re here! At your grandmother’s old house!” announced her father.

Upon stepping outside the car, Seulgi could not believe her eyes. Despite the familiar atmosphere, there were glaring differences as well. There before her was what used to be the flower pot house, currently being demolished by an excavator. However, it wasn’t the only one being wrecked.

 _Grandma’s house and Joohyun Unnie’s house…_ Seulgi stared at the two houses with her mouth gaped in disbelief.

“We also bought the abandoned land beside it,” said her father. “This used to be the neighbour’s house. We’re planning on joining the two houses together to provide room for more guests. We can also use this as one big vacation house.”

Seulgi stood there completely aghast and unable to come up with anything intelligible to say.  _This can't be real._

****


	5. Irony

**CHAPTER 4**

**Irony**

 

**_February 2018_ **

On restless nights, sometimes alcohol might just do the trick. Escapism is a difficult rut to get out of, for it may give off the illusion of paradise by obscuring the pain of reality. Those brief moments of relief can be intoxicating—maybe even addicting. Though the crystal-clear shot of soju may burn with bitterness in the first few seconds, the airy, lightweight feeling of partial numbness afterwards can relax even the tensest muscles and the most tired of bones. And at some point, after dozens of shots, what once was bitter may even start to taste so comfortingly warm and sweet.

“One… more bottle… please…,” Seulgi slurred as she swayed from side to side with her hand raised and her lazy eyes barely opened. Soon an old lady placed another green bottle of soju in addition to the other empty bottles on the table.

It was 2:35 a.m. She had been there at a Korean barbeque house in Seoul since midnight after she came home from that trip to Yeonsan. At this point, she really should not even be out so drunk all alone if she did not want to get exploited by ill-intending creeps. That was beyond her worries, however. Right now, she was too drunk to even think of the present. Funny how she drank for the sole purpose of numbing herself from the trip to Yeonsan, but with every shot she took, the more she could not stop thinking about it.

_There goes the old neighbour’s house, or should I say Joohyun Unnie’s old house._ Seulgi heaved a heavy sigh as she poured herself another shot. _Time really changes everything, doesn’t it?_

The neighbour’s house had been abandoned in late 2008. She knew this quite well. It was the worst thing she had ever witnessed in her life. She saw it happen. She was there when the family who lived there (Joohyun's family) had completely fallen apart after a gruesome murder case that Seulgi had tried so hard to forget for the past ten years. Since then the site had been abandoned until Seulgi’s family recently decided to buy the plot of land. Now, that tragic house with the tragic story was apparently being rebuilt into _a vacation house_. 

“A va-ca-tion house…,” the drunk girl muttered. Then she began to chuckle to herself like a madman as tears dropped onto her tiny shot glass. The bitter soju mixed with her salty tears as she poured herself another shot. “Of all things… ha-ha... how morbid...”

Oh, the irony. Her family had officially begun making a guest lodge out of what used to be a house shrouded in stigma. It may seem like a great financial investment for her parents, but she just felt sick thinking about it. 

_What am I doing here? Why didn’t I just stay in Vienna where I can be far away from all of this?_ She just asked a similar wishy-washy question when she was drunk on New Years’ Eve a month ago, but she does not remember that after all the soju she had drunk.

Most of her life decisions were like a night of getting drunk on alcohol. It seemed a good idea and it felt like a good rational decision at the time, but the morning after, headaches ensued. Oh well, at least she still got a little taste of fleeting pleasure in most of those experiences. But what’s the point of pleasure when it inflicted pain like a traitor afterwards?

_._

_._

_._

_A vacation house…_

_The world has certainly gone mad._

***

“Night shift? Really?” one of Soo-Young’s college guy friends scoffed as he placed a pack of ramen and a soda bottle on the counter. “The hundred-million-won Lexus down the block doesn’t match the outfit or the job, by the way.”

Soo-Young rolled her eyes at the customer. The main reason she took a convenience store job during the wee hours of the night was to make sure familiar blokes like him did not have to see her like this. Born to one of the most acclaimed brain surgeons in Korea, Soo-Young was no ordinary girl. She lived with her family in one of the ritsiest apartments in Gangnam, the richest district in all of Korea. Needless to say, they were _rich_. Working at a convenience store did not exactly complement the family reputation.

“I took this job because I wanted to, idiot, not because I want to match it with my car.” She scanned his items and read the amount on the screen. “That would be 2,700 won.”

“Wow, very professional.”

She inserted his credit card into the reader. “My ass.”

“I’d tap it though.”

Soo-Young’s already huge eyes had grown twice its size in shock and disgust. Then the card was slammed on the counter. “Get the hell out of here, pervert!”

“Well, it was nice to see you in my part of Gangnam too.” Her friend took his items, giggling on the way out.

“Ugh… I just have to do this for the next few months,” she muttered to herself when he was finally gone.

Although being a cashier at a convenience store was not in the list of most respectable jobs, the spoiled Princess Soo-Young was willing to sell her soul to it even just for a little while. She was an adult, and she had every right to get whatever job she wanted, whether it was a convenience store job or an actual profession that had something to do with her bachelor’s degree in pre-med biology. For now, the former seemed more appealing for many reasons, not just as an act of rebellion against her snotty parents. Her plan was to earn her own money by her own means in a setting that gave her full control over her own life. Four years of her life had already been sold for that bachelor’s degree her parents forced on her. The least she deserved was to regain her life back and the convenience store was a good place to start: hourly pay, no one-year contracts, and best of all, her parents had nothing to do with it.

However, the convenience store job was just step-one in her grand scheme of things. A calculated plan was already in the works. For 8 hours every night for the next six or so months she planned on continuing with this job (while still living with her parents) and by the end of those six tedious months, she would have enough money for cheap lodging, food, and other items. By then she can leave her family and officially proceed with her main plan: head back to Yeonsan and search for the _time capsule_.

There was a total of four letters and a bunch of other items in a time capsule that she and her three friends buried ten years ago. Those letters were all addressed to their future selves ten years later, and this year was the tenth year. She knew she had to go find it.

However, Soo-Young had been to Yeonsan a few times last year, and she knew very well the effects of urbanization in that place. Searching for the letters might not be easy—or even possible—for they had buried it somewhere in the deep part of woods near the lake. Even with her powerful memory, she could not remember exactly where. Ten years was a long time. Lord knows the place where they buried those letters could have been cemented over or an apartment complex could have been built over it already, but she was willing to take a gamble. This could possibly be the most difficult scavenger hunt yet. She might have to spend more than just a few days in that place if she wanted to find them. In short, having enough money to establish herself there would give her a better chance of finding it.

 

After a long night, at 3 a.m., her shift was over. When the next employee came around, Soo-Young zipped up her parka and left to go back home.

On the way to her brand-new luxury SUV that dark night, a listless girl tottering on the sidewalk had caught her attention. She seemed to be drunk out of her mind, yet with still enough energy to be limping on the street. After almost ungracefully tripping over a trash bag, the girl clung onto a lamppost, crying like a toddler while spitting unflattering curse words into the dark.

“아으으… 씨… 씨발,” the drunk girl slurred. A gust of cold winter wind blew in her direction, making her shiver. “It’s… c-cold…”

Soo-Young tried to avoid the girl with the “colourful” language and get to her car as quickly as possible, but she was stopped. The drunk tottered and slouched before her. With no warning, the girl poured out the half-digested contents of her late-night snacks with no warning.

“Ugh, gross!” Soo-Young squealed like a total brat. It wasn’t the first time she had experienced this though. Drunk humans and puking fests were a common sight in the nightlife of the bustling city streets of Seoul. It was part of the country’s messed-up drinking culture. Nothing new.

“I’m… sorry…,” the drunk girl apologised.  

When the girl lifted her face to her, Soo-Young’s mouth gaped in surprise. Round cheeks, slit eyes, and a defined bear-like nose—they were familiar features that never changed all through the years. _Wait…_ “Seulgi Unnie?”

She looked even closer at the girl’s rosy face and swore it could not have been anyone else despite the straightened hair, the choppy bangs, and traces of the “mess” dripping from her chapped red lips. Seulgi was one of those close friends who buried the time capsule with her when they lived in Yeonsan. It seemed over the years, she had grown womanlier with a more cosmopolitan look—sporting all-black clothes, leather boots, and heavy make-up that made her seem so chic under flickering neon signboards.

_Am I dreaming? Or is this a hallucination?_ When Soo-Young moved to Seoul a year after Seulgi left, Soo-Young expected to run into her but never did. Now here she was, completely drunk at 3 a.m., the most unexpected of time of the day (or night) to have a reunion. “Seulgi Unnie? Kang Seulgi? Is that you?”

 “Who… are you…?” Seulgi uttered in her drunk state. “How… do… Do you no…? You know me…?”

“Oh my gosh, this can’t be happening, right now.” Exhausted Soo-Young never expected this and wanted to leave and to go home immediately. However, if this truly was the Kang Seulgi she used to know, what now? She had no idea what to do. Without overthinking, Soo-Young tried to steady the tottering girl. Soo-Young was taller and bigger than her, so she made Seulgi put her arm around her to properly support her. Then she said, “I can take you to your house, but you’re gonna have to tell me where that is.”

“Who arrrgh… you and where…  you taking me…?” The drunk asked.

“It’s me, Park Soo-Young! Your neighbour from across the street in Yeonsan back then!”

“Soo-Young…? I’m not good… at swim-ming…” (Soo-Young can mean “swimming” in Korean.)

“Seriously? Kang Seulgi or not, I’m doing you a favour here. The least you can do is come to your damn senses and tell me where you live.”

“Ha… ha…,” Seulgi giggled. “They… wreck-ked… ze… house… It’s gone… I one… wonder… what duzz… hwut does… Un-nie think…?”

“What the hell are you even saying? Give me your address.”

“My… fing-gers… c-cold… Yours too…”

“I know! That’s why we need to go home, moron! Just tell me where you live already!”

But Seulgi said nothing but random useless burbles. “I… like you... Don’t get… ang-gree… any-m-more, okay? Oh-kay… yeah…?”

“Ugh, this is so stupid. I’m better off talking to a brick… Come to your senses, you dumbass! Why the hell did you drink so much anyway?” And just like that, Soo-Young began yelling at Seulgi and calling her many different versions of “dumb” as if they had not been separated from each other in the past ten years.

Since Seulgi was not cooperating, Soo-Young devised a back-up plan. She checked Seulgi into one of the cheaper motels outside Gangnam and threw her down on the twin-sized bed. By then, Seulgi was barely awake. She was still slurring indecipherable mumblings, but her eyes were already closed. God knows whether she was actually trying to say things or was simply sleep talking.

Soo-Young sat on the bed, watching the fellow she just became a Good Samaritan to. _Is this really Seulgi Unnie?_ She could be wrong, and this girl could just be a drunk doppelganger. With no ill intentions, Soo-Young went through the pockets of the girl’s black padded parka and found a wallet. There she found Seulgi’s journalist ID card from Austria. _So, it really is Seulgi Kang … And she’s been abroad, huh? Interesting…_ After her identity was confirmed, the wallet was soon returned to its rightful place.

For the next few minutes, Soo-Young fixed up the drunken Seulgi so she could rest well. She took off Seulgi’s parka, cleaned up her face, fixed her sleeping position… She tucked the poor girl in bed, thinking, _this is so damn weird._ It was weird seeing an old friend like this. It was just so unexpected. _I really can’t freaking believe this._

If she could remember clearly, their friendship never ended in good terms. For the longest time, teenage Soo-Young carried a grudge against her. She hated Seulgi for leaving town back then—for leaving them all behind without saying goodbye immediately after the tragedy that happened in Joohyun’s house. It seemed so cruel... to suddenly throw away their friendship like that. Nevertheless, it has been many years since then. The grudge was still there; Soo-Young just could not make herself leave this lone drunk girl in the cold streets.

When she was getting ready to leave, she saw on the clock that it was already 3:58 a.m. At this point, she would rather stay in a crappy motel with a drunk traitor than go back to her parents’ ritzy apartment in Korea’s version of Beverly Hills. It had been a long night, and neither did she want to drive anymore. Giving absolutely zero fucks, Soo-Young took off her parka and tossed it on the floorboards. After stretching her arms, the exhausted part-timer lay down beside the peacefully sleeping old friend.  _Sleepovers. How fun. Goodnight, Seulgi Unnie._

_***_

“Ha! I found another key!” 12-year-old Seulgi exclaimed while playing _Luigi’s Mansion_ on Soo-Young’s Game Cube.

“You’ve been sucking ghosts with a vacuum cleaner in a virtual haunted house all day. Aren’t you bored with that game?” Soo-Young asked as she watched Seulgi play as Luigi on the TV.

“No way! This is so much fun!” Luigi, under the command of Seulgi’s button-pressing expertise, continued walking through the creepy old mansion with his all-powerful vacuum cleaner, defeating ghosts and collecting money.

Soo-Young looked at the pink wall clock. It was more than a quarter past 7. The sun had already gone down and dusk had settled. “Wouldn’t your grandma want you home for dinner by now?”

“Oh, right,” Seulgi paused the game and saved. “Can't we just have a sleepover here? Don't you think that would be fun?”

“Trust me, I'd want that. But my mother won't like it one bit.”

Seulgi pouted like a sad little puppy. “What's so wrong with a sleepover though?”

“Everything that isn't my mother's idea is wrong according to her. You better leave before she comes.”  

As Seulgi was getting ready to leave, Soo-Young looked out the window from her bedroom. There she could see the house with the flowerpots lit up by fluorescent lights, while the house beside it—Joohyun’s house—was still dark.

“What’cha lookin’ at? Is your mom coming soon?” Seulgi went over to Soo-Young’s side and took a peek at the window too.

“You ever wonder what’s in there?” Soo-Young asked, pointing at Joohyun’s unlit house. “It’s like a mini-version of Luigi’s mansion, don’t you think?”

It was the first time Seulgi was actually seeing the neighbours’ house at night. The tall black gates and brick walls enclosing the whole thing, the weathered dark brown roof, the dark windows sealed shut… it was impossible to see what was in there. From the aerial view of Soo-Young’s window, it did seem to have an eerily foreboding atmosphere compared to the flowery house beside it. “Well, I’m sure there must be a reason why they don’t turn their lights on.”

“And what kind of reason would that be?”

“I don’t know…”

.

.

*%^#////??***       

(;_;)

On her way home, the streetlights suddenly flickered out. Everything went black. The houses were gone, the street was gone—everything was gone. It was like she was standing in nothingness. _What the…_

             

“Seulgi…”

 

Down at the far end, Seulgi noticed someone. She could hear faint cries of a girl’s low, raspy voice echoing in the darkness. Seulgi walked closer.

“S-Seulgi…”

The cries echoed louder with every apprehensive step she took. When she was close enough, Seulgi saw the girl within the dark empty room. Her pitiful eyes were wide-open with fear as tears of thick, murky blood were slowly inching down the girl’s face.

_J-Joohyun Unnie…?_

With a flash of bright light, the tears and the fear were dispelled. Joohyun stood still staring into Seulgi from afar. She used to be a beautiful mystery—a petite, fragile thing. Her skin was of a smooth ivory white; her hair was of glossy ebony. But within her brown eyes was a misguided longing—a view of the lake and the mountains, a beautiful scenery which never existed.

All of a sudden, the scene glitched like an old video game. Now the pixels were all wrong and it was dark once again. Sounds melted into an off-key dissonance of sharps and flats that don’t belong. The dark room was getting smaller and smaller. With deep red tears dripping from her cheeks, the girl who used to be beautiful stared deep into Seulgi’s soul and whispered, “Seulgi.”

_How could this happen?_

~~`A` ~~ `n ~~0T~~` ~~`h` ~~ `er` ~~` gㄴ` ~~ `!` ~~`+C#` ~~ `. `

.

*

(ㅜ.ㅜ)

The girl’s beaten and bruised body lay there crying and calling out to her. An outstretched hand dipped in red and dark purplish blue trembled and twitched with the last bit of energy it could muster. “Seulgi, help me…”

_Joohyun Unnie!_

With no warning, a huge wrecking ball struck the invisible walls and the entire room collapsed, burying the girl in shattered debris.

_NO!_

.

.

.

“No!”

25-year-old Seulgi opened her eyes. Now it was just an unfamiliar ceiling dimly lit by a light seeping through heavy curtains. _What…? What just happened?_ When her breathing had subsided, she turned her head to the side and found someone else sleeping beside her.

“Aaaaackk!” She screeched as she got up from the bed. Within a split second, pain shot through her temples like a bullet. She held her forehead and moaned in pain while trying to remember what happened last night and why she was sleeping in an unfamiliar room with some stranger. “Oh gosh, how much did I drink?!”

Upon hearing the ruckus Seulgi was making, Soo-Young groaned and buried her face deeper into the pillow she was hugging. “Can you keep it down… I’m sleeping.”

“Who the heck are you?!” Seulgi asked with only one eye half open. The headache from her hangover throbbed like a ringing New Year’s gong on steroids. “And where in the world am I?!”

“Can we talk about this later? I need my beauty sleep or I’ll get dark circles…,” Soo-Young muttered. “You have no idea what I went through last night…”

“Enlighten me.”

“Name’s Park Soo-Young, childhood friend. Saw you drunk and took you here to a motel. You’re welcome. Let’s talk later…” She yawned. “I’m tired.”

“Park Soo-Young?” Seulgi calmed down and slowly opened her eyes. Without her contact lenses, everything was blurry. She crept up to Soo-Young and hovered over her. She brushed the strands of hair from the girl’s face and squinted her eyes to take a better look. _How did I even end up spending the night with her of all people?!_ Suddenly, Soo-Young’s eyes shot wide open. Seulgi recoiled from the intimidating eye and went back to her side of the bed.

“You really don’t remember anything, do you?” Soo-Young sat up and stretched her arms.

“I’m guessing I ran into you… again.” How she ended up bumping into Soo-Young when she was drunk was beyond her. Seulgi really could not remember a thing. It's ironic how the alcohol only made her forget about that night and completely left all her bad memories intact.  _The world has certainly gone mad._

“Well, yeah, you did and you—” Soo-Young stopped stretching and looked straight into Seulgi’s eyes. “Wait, what do you mean ‘again’?”

“Ugh... I can't believe this... Must be fate trying to tell me things,” Seulgi answered vaguely as she lay back down on the bed. The hangover was not being easy on her at all. “I was taking photos in this graduation ceremony and you were there.”

Soo-Young gasped. “And you didn’t say hi?”

“I didn’t know who you were at that time, okay?” Seulgi sighed as she stared at the ceiling. “I never thought you would grow up to be so intimidatingly pretty either. Like a model…”

Soo-Young raised a brow. “You’re saying I was ugly back then?”

Seulgi’s eyes shot to Soo-Young and she saw how this ex-bully still looked bigger _and_ stronger than her. Those guns hiding underneath that sweater might not be friendly. “No, no, no! Of course not. Besides, what was I supposed to say to you? I haven’t seen you in ten ye—”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Soo-Young rolled her eyes. “You and I used to be friends once. I think that deserved some merit. A ‘congratulations on your graduation’ or a ‘hi’ would have been appropriate, don’t you think? At least I didn’t _leave you for dead_ out on the streets when you were ridiculously drunk last night.”

Seulgi grew quiet. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled out her feelings of shame. She knew that even if she did recognise Soo-Young immediately, she wouldn't have the courage to initiate conversation herself. In the most heartfelt whisper, Seulgi said, “I’m sorry.”

Soo-Young noticed the sudden melancholic tone in Seulgi’s voice. Not wanting to continue this topic further, she also sighed and lay back down on the bed to calm herself down. “Look, whatever. Just forget it. It’s not important now.”

“And thank you for last night, Soo-Young.”

 Soo-Young rolled to her side and studied Seulgi’s 25-year-old face. “You know, you look exactly the same.”

The girl with the headache chuckled as she massaged her forehead with two hands. “My brother thinks I’m still ‘ugly as hell’ as he so delicately put it.”

“I wouldn’t say ugly, but your features are still the same. The only difference is…” Soo-Young paused.

Seulgi stopped massaging her head and glanced at her friend. “The only difference is what?”

Soo-Young pursed her lips before answering. She seemed to be hesitating. Then she finally answered, “You’ve started to look more like her.”

Seulgi blinked. “Like who?”

“Joohyun Unnie.”

Seulgi lay there in silence. She did not know what to say.

So Soo-Young continued on a nostalgic note, “You have that sad look in your eyes… I don’t know what I’m saying. Since you’re here, I’m just reminded of her right now. Of her and you and everyone else from back then.”

“I think she rubbed off on all of us.” Seulgi breathed out. It was true though. The sadness in Joohyun's eyes—it might as well be contagious. That's probably what happens when people grow up.

For a while, they just lay there, taking turns sighing and yawning awkwardly to fill the uncomfortable silence. Then Seulgi turned to Soo-Young. “What do you say we get some hangover soup? I kinda need it. Badly.”

“I think there’s one restaurant across the street from this motel.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

Soo-Young and Seulgi walked to the _Haejang-guk_ (해장국, hangover soup) restaurant for their very-late brunch (it was past 1 p.m.) and took their places at one of the low restaurant tables. There on the heated floor, they made themselves comfortable and took off their winter parkas. The older folk running the restaurant began placing kimchi and other side-dishes while the main meal was still being prepared for the two of them. While they waited, the two of them made light conversation about Seulgi and her life in Austria. After a while, the restaurant folk quickly came back with their boiling hot pig-spine _H_ _aejang-guk_. The bubbling red soup and the mouth-watering slab of pork easily chased Seulgi’s hangover just by the sight of it.

When the old lady left, Soo-Young grabbed her spoon and took a sip of her spicy soup. “So, why’d you come back after all that time in Europe? It’s because of the time capsule, isn’t it?”

Seulgi stopped chewing her mouthful of rice. Then she uttered, “What time capsule?”

Soo-Young held her soup-filled spoon steady and stared at the person in front of her in disbelief. “What do you mean ‘what time capsule?’?” She placed her spoon back into the black earthen bowl.

“Ah- I don’t know…,” Seulgi drank some water to help herself swallow. “I came back to Korea on a whim after I saw this painting—”

“Dude, the time capsule!” Soo-Young shamelessly raised her voice. “We buried letters to ourselves, remember? To our _future_ selves? You don’t remember that?”

Seulgi stared back into Soo-Young’s eyes, trying to remember what she was trying to say, but nothing came to mind. “No…”

“I can’t believe this.” Soo-Young held her forehead. Now it looked like she was the one getting a headache.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember a lot of things from that specific year,” Seulgi said in a low, disappointed tone. “I must have forgotten that one too... I only remember the worst memories for some reason.”

“Well, anyway, I’m going to look for it,” Soo-Young stated with determination. “Since you’re here, you should help me! Even though you’re worse than I am and don’t remember it at all. At least I don't have to do it alone. We all promised each other we'd dig it up again, and it seems I found you at the right time.”

Seulgi’s eyes dilated. “What? No, I, uh, I can’t. I’m busy,” her lips quivered as she forced a lie out.

“You’re hungover on a Monday morning. You can’t possibly be busy.” Soo-Young saw through her as if she was transparent glass. “Besides, I’m not saying we go now. We can plan it. We can make a compromise that works for both of us.”

“No... I... I can't.” By the grim look on Seulgi’s face, it was obvious that she did not want to join forces with her old partner in crime.

“Why not?”

Seulgi took her time to come up with a viable excuse to get away from this. “I... I'm not staying long. I... might leave. Soon. Probably.” Another lie.

By then Soo-Young's intimidating poker face turned into an even more intimidating frown. It was obvious that Seulgi was terrible at lying.

Not able to put up with the charade anymore, Seulgi shamefully looked down on her soup. “I… I’m sorry,” she apologised again. All the shame and all the guilt she had been trying to run away from were all coming back to her, and they were not letting her escape. “Sorry. I don’t want to go find the letters with you. So please, don't drag me into this.”

“What do you mean 'drag' you into this? You've been involved from the start. We all promised to find it together. You're not even going to do your childhood self a favour by keeping that promise?"

"Well, things change. That kid Seulgi is gone. I don't even remember that time capsule," she said in a matter-of-fact way. "Besides, if they're just letters, what's the point? It could have been destroyed after all the construction they've done in that town, just like _the rest_ of the other memories we all once had. And even if you did find it, so what? You could be opening Pandora's box or just a box filled with rotten remains of whatever we put in there. I can't be bothered, okay?"

There were so many things in what Seulgi had just said that made Soo-Young angry; she had to take a few seconds to breathe to keep herself from exploding. What Seulgi said had some truth in it, but they had stumbled on a highly sensitive topic for Soo-Young. Seulgi was doing it again: she was abandoning Soo-Young again, just like how everyone else in Soo-Young's life emotionally abandoned her. And here she thought finding Seulgi was the silver lining to the impossible mission she set for herself. Maybe she was wrong.

“You know, for the longest time, I was angry at you,” Soo-Young said in a softer yet still hostile-sounding voice. “ _'We'll stay friends no matter what,'_ _”_  she scoffed. “' _What a big fat lie._ ' How could you leave us like that? _Just when we lost Joohyun Unnie,_ you left us too and you didn't even say goodbye!"

Seulgi could not speak. What Soo-Young said felt like daggers to her guilty heart.

"That's what I thought for a long time until I started to feel sorry for you last night. Tch... sympathy... I never knew I had it in me," Soo-Young continued. “We both had a rough childhood. I thought somewhere along the line you must have been so screwed up that you ended up getting yourself totally wasted last night. I don't know if that's a regular thing; it isn't my place to judge. I don't know what it's like to be you, Seulgi Unnie. Maybe you don't want to come back; maybe you don't want to remember any of our past. But isn't it ironic how you’re here _now,_  having hangover soup with me? You and I, _we're both pathetic_. No matter how much I swear to myself that I still hate you, I still took you to that motel, and I even slept beside you instead of heading back home and leaving you there. Now I'm eating with you. Apparently, I still care about you and everyone and the past we buried years ago. That's why I'm going to look for that time capsule. Call me delusional for having hope that I'll find it, but whatever. If you don’t want to search for the letters with me, then fine. It’s your call. I’ll _leave you alone_ if that’s what you say you want. But I'd also like to believe that deep down you still care about our past friendship too.”

Then Soo-Young pulled out a piece of napkin and wrote something on it with a pen. "Here."

When Seulgi looked down on it, she saw an 11-digit phone number.

"Call me when you change your mind. I'll be waiting. Or even if you don't change your mind, call me anyway, in case you get totally wasted again." 

 

* * *

 


	6. Bicycle Ride

**CHAPTER 5**

**Bicycle Ride**

 

**_Months Later: Late September 2018_ **

_C’mon, Soo-Young, pick up!_ Seulgi bit her bottom lip as she paced back and forth while pressing her phone against her ear.

Beep after unbearable beep passed. Then, the line went through. Her jittery feet stopped in its tracks. “Soo-Young?”

 _“Oh, hey you! Haven’t heard from you in a while. Thought you went out of the country or something.”_ From the honks and rumbles, it sounded as though Soo-Young was stuck in traffic. _“Ugh, these morons should quit the horns! This isn’t a marching band!”_

“Um, maybe now isn’t the right time?”

 _“No, no, come on, entertain me. I’m not going anywhere. Literally. Gosh, I hate Seoul traffic.”_ The honking in the background kept going. _“So, what’s up? You haven’t contacted me in months. Why’d you decide to call now?”_

“Look, I’m sorry I haven’t contacted you in months. In fact, I’m sorry I even refused to help you. Whatever it is that fate is trying to tell me, it’s all probably inevitable, so I’m not going to run anymore.”

_“Slow down. What the hell are you talking about?”_

“I’m moving to Yeonsan.”

_“You’re what?!”_

“Actually, it’s only for a month. It’s kind of a long story…”

 

After flatly refusing to help Soo-Young that one day in February, Seulgi kept herself busy again for fear that her own thoughts might turn on her. Due to her irresoluteness, she knew she may eventually come to regret her own decision concerning the search for the time capsule, so she tried her best to forget about it. She had also begun secretly planning on leaving the country again and were looking up jobs abroad. But her plans never went further than just plans. Whenever she saw how happy her parents were of having her around, she had second thoughts again. So far, none of her plans to leave ever fell through due to her bad case of indecisiveness.

In the meantime, the construction of the lodge in Yeonsan continued and had finally met its completion. For the first half of summer, Seulgi’s parents had been managing the final touches. They even made a few trips back and forth to make sure things were taken care of.

Although hesitant, Seulgi also went a few times. Only her parents could make her visit Yeonsan more than she ever desired. She did not want to rain on their parade by telling them how much her insides squirmed every time she went to see the place. It was during those times that she truly wanted to leave the country again. _Oh, but the smile on their faces…_ If it was to make her parents happy, then she would stay and do whatever they wanted. If she left now, she would feel guilty for leaving again. Funny how her own messed-up mind could imprison her in a world where she will always feel guilty for doing nothing, anything, and everything in between.

The last time Seulgi went, her parents toured her and her brother around the new house, showing the little features they have instituted in the place. The house (or houses) she used to know looked _nothing_ like it used to be. Her grandparents’ old house and Joohyun’s house were both completely demolished, and out of the rubble, Seulgi’s parents had built up a simplistic-yet-classy, modernist villa. It featured two floors, glossy navy-blue tinted glass, solar panels and a satellite dish on the rooftop, and a wooden porch inspired by traditional Hanok _maru._ In addition, half of what used to be the neighbours’ plot of land was cleared to make room for a small grassy yard enclosed by the classic brick fencing and metal gates. It was bigger and more pretentious than other houses on the same street. In other words, it stuck out like a sore thumb in that neighbourhood.

_Is this really grandma and grandpa’s old house?_

Inside, the house was still barely furnished. The rooms were mostly empty. According to plans, the entire ground floor was supposed to be a spacious common area—one big living room with a kitchen and dining area. It was spacious and the natural lighting from the wide glass windows made it seem so much brighter. The lodging rooms were on the floor above. There was a total of 5 rooms—4 small rooms and 1 master bedroom.

_This is a completely different house…_

It wasn’t bad at all. It was even kind of aesthetically appealing to her despite the lack of furnishing.

“Over there we’ll be placing some plants and flowers,” her father told her as she looked out the glass door that led to the yard.

“This part used to be the neighbours’ house,” Seulgi said on a nostalgic note.

“Yup. Now it’s ours!”

Seulgi tried to swallow the hard lump in her throat. _I’m literally standing in what used to be a murder scene._ She thought flashbacks would get triggered once she finally set foot in the very place of terror, but there was nothing. It was getting harder to tell when and how these episodes and nightmares were coming to her. Maybe her bad memories could not be triggered by a place that had transformed into something so unfamiliar—a place so _despicably_ nice and charming.

 _Oh well, new house, new possibilities, new memories… I guess._ She was not happy and neither was she upset about this vacation house. At this point, she was dead even to her own opinions. She had no idea what to think of or feel about anything. She was just kind of letting things be.

For the next weeks, her parents began shopping for interior, with autopilot-mode Seulgi even robotically pitching in and suggesting designs and arrangements. By September, they had finally finished furnishing the house. It was ready for future lodgers. Her brother then helped out their parents by setting up an Airbnb account and by briefing them on how it all works. Seulgi also got a chance to learn about the technicalities of the business.

“Basically, whenever we’re not using the vacation house, we can put up some of the rooms for rent… The lodgers can RSVP through the internet and you can check their profiles,” her brother explained.

After the completion of their preparations, the business started. Unfortunately, they had no customers yet. September was not exactly the season for travellers.

One night during dinner, Seulgi’s parents had news.

“Looks like we have our first renter! She RSVP’d a little early, but she says she’s coming for sure next month in October to stay in one of the single rooms.”

_So, the business is really starting._

“That’s great Dad.”

“Only problem is your mother and I already have travel plans in October. Wedding anniversary, you know?”

“So?”

“I’ve been thinking,” her father started, “Seulgi, since you work at home as a freelancer anyway, can I ask you to manage the vacation house while we’re on vacation? You get to go there and entertain a guest or two.”

 Seulgi almost choked on her seaweed soup.

“I’m guessing October will be garnering some travellers since that’s when the leaves start to change colour. Yeonsan is really pretty in the autumn. Don’t worry, it won’t be too hard. You just have to give them the keys and tell them the house rules anyway. Also, since we’re leaving you in charge, you can have all the rent we earn for October too,” her dad said light-heartedly. He was so nice that it was hard for Seulgi to ever resist him. “If you want, you can stay there in the vacation house too. The atmosphere there is certainly much better than your old room here.”

“Nah, after I ‘entertain the guests’ I think I’d rather just return to Seoul with Grandma. She might get lonely here alone,” Seulgi said trying to sound like she was actually concerned about her grandmother.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, Seulgi,” said her grandma. “I’ve been planning on staying at your aunt’s place in Ansan anyway.”

“So yeah, Seulgi Bear, don’t worry too much about your Grandma. You get to do what you want with the vacation house while we’re gone. We trust you’ll do well.”

_***_

_“Oh my god,”_ Soo-Young said over the phone. _“A vacation house? Dude, that’s awesome! Why didn’t you invite me sooner?! I could have signed up for this earlier!”_

“But wait, Soo-Young, there’s something else you should know,” Seulgi said in a rather shaky voice.

_“Don’t worry, I’ll pay you. I’m not gonna freeload, I promise.”_

“No, it’s not that,” Seulgi shook her head animatedly as if Soo-Young was there in front of her. “It’s about the first lodger who RSVP’d. It’s the main reason I’m calling in the first place.”

_“What about the lodger?”_

“It’s someone named Wendy Son from Canada.”

_“Who? Some foreigner?”_

“I think it’s _Seungwan_.”

***

 

**_September 2005_ **

11-year-old Soo-Young flopped herself on her bed and slammed a fist on the soft cushion. “Stupid. Why’d Seulgi Unnie have to be such a baby?”

Today was one of those unfortunate days when Seulgi was not in Yeonsan. She had gone to spend time with her parents in Seoul for the weekend before school officially starts. Now Soo-Young was left with no Seulgi and nothing to do again.

Ignoring all the neatly arranged toys and gadgets that never truly filled the emptiness deep inside her, Soo-Young got up from her bed and looked outside the window. It was another lazy sunny day alone in this quiet neighbourhood. Without Seulgi to boss around and talk down to, there seemed to be nothing worth doing.

As she was blankly staring out the window, the sound of a car engine broke the calm silence. Soo-Young moved closer to the side and tilted her head to see the street better. The noise was from an _unfamiliar_ navy-blue sedan and a _moving truck_. They had parked in front of the house two lots down the block—the house for rent. It had been months since original owners left and offered up that house for rent. Looks like new folks were finally moving into that place.

_What’s up with all these new people?_

***

At the end of that weekend, Seulgi had gone back to Yeonsan feeling refreshed and extra chipper, ready to take on a new semester at a new school. Although schools in Seoul had more prestige than the ones in small unknown towns in the middle of nowhere, Seulgi’s parents enrolled her in Yeonsan Grade School anyway so she can stay with her grandparents. Besides, going to a small countryside school could possibly be a unique learning experience. And so, on the first day of school, Seulgi bid her grandparents goodbye and headed out of the house.

When she unlocked the gate, she found Soo-Young standing by their gate. She was wearing the same white blouse with the yellow plaid skirt—the school uniform.

“Oh, hey, Soo-Young. How was your weekend? My parents and I went shopping and we…”

Soo-Young’s mean poker face turned into an even meaner scowl. She also rolled her eyes and sarcastically muttered, “Great. Glad _somebody_ had fun.” She could not have been more obvious about her own distaste for Seulgi’s “adventures-with-my-awesome-parents” stories. Jealously shows itself in unpleasant ways.

Seulgi’s smile faded and discontinued her recollection of her amazing weekend. “Sorry.”

Skipping the small talk, Soo-Young kicked back the stand of her bicycle. “Let’s go to school together from now on.”

Together, the two girls rode their bicycles to the _only_ grade school in Yeonsan. The lone grade school was situated in the more rural area of town, in the middle of the flat valley filled with farming fields. It was the biggest free-standing edifice in that part of town. And though it was not particularly huge compared to most schools in Seoul, it looked so conspicuously lonely in that flatland that one cannot possibly miss it. Other than the awkwardly placed scrapyard and a hilltop of historic burial mounds nearby, Yeonsan Grade School was the only institution there that wasn’t mass-producing some sort of crop, unless of course, you would consider the future generation a mass-produced crop...

Seulgi and Soo-Young hopped off their bikes as soon as they reached the wide-open school gate. When Seulgi looked up, an amused chuckle escaped her lips. According to the overhead banners rippling with the wind above the gate, it was “the best school in Yeonsan,” which was an inarguably pointless phrase if it never had any competition in the first place. At least it was not a complete lie.

Inside the premises near the gate were bicycle racks for children to leave their bikes. Seulgi and Soo-Young left their bicycles side by side in one area and walked through the wide courtyard into the school building’s main entrance. Inside the building, they stopped by the dimly lit shoe locker area to switch into their school slippers.

“I’ll meet you later at lunch in the basement cafeteria,” Soo-Young said as she placed her outdoor shoes into her designated locker. “You’re eating with me. Got it?”

Since Seulgi did not know anyone else in this entire school, she agreed.

After Soo-Young left her alone on the door to her classroom, Seulgi took a deep breath to try to relieve her nerves. _Here goes nothing…_ The first day of class always got her heart pounding loudly in slight anxiousness. The moment she stepped into class, the students who were already there early had stopped whatever they were casually doing, and immediately turned their attention to her. Not long after, the whispers began to fill the room.

_“Oh look, a new kid.”_

It was too obvious. By the way everyone else acted around each other, all the other students already seem to be well acquainted with each other. It was the only school in town, so that was not much of a surprise. Most of the students were probably classmates since forever. So, if a newbie ever came in, all eyes were immediately on the special little soul that stuck out like a disgustingly blown-up sore.

 _New friends, new possibilities, new memories…_ Seulgi forced an awkward smile. As uncomfortable as it was to be stared down like that, she still thought positively. After checking her seating arrangement posted on the board, she went to her seat and quietly sat there by herself.

Just like any other school, the newly transferred students had to be singled out and introduced to the entire class. The moment the classes started, Seulgi was called up by their class advisor and introduced to everyone. However, on that day, Seulgi wasn’t the only one to introduce herself.

Another young fellow, seemingly sweet yet slightly shy, stood straight with her hand together in front of the whole class. She was small—about the same height as Seulgi, but not as scrawny as her. A mop of hair covered her forehead and brows, but not long enough to cover the light in her bright-eyed brown eyes. She smiled shyly in front of everyone, making her already puffy hamster cheeks puff up all the more. When the teacher told her to introduce herself, she fumbled with her own fingers as she spoke, “Hello, my name is _Son Seungwan_. I hope to get along well with all of you.”

_Son Seungwan… Hm. She seems nice. And **really cute.**_

After Seungwan had sat back in her seat one row ahead on Seulgi’s right, the teacher proceeded with the day’s lesson.

With her low attention span and easily distracted brain, Seulgi often lost concentration on the lesson and watched Seungwan through her peripherals from time to time. And what a brilliant pupil Seungwan was. During math, Little Miss Son often raised her hand and got all the answers right. She may have earned the reputation of being a “know-it-all” on the first day of school, but Seulgi found that absolutely attractive. (Seulgi sucked at math. Anyone who could answer [81-54=?] without getting it wrong was a genius in her eyes.) On that very first day, in a room full of strangers, the only thing Seulgi learned in class was the name _Son Seungwan._

 _I want to be her friend._ Not that Soo-Young wasn’t enough, but of course, Seulgi wanted to make a friend from her own class too. With no time to lose, Seulgi determined that she would personally make Seungwan her very own friend.

When the school bell rang for lunch, Seulgi awkwardly stood from her seat. Everyone naturally conversed and clumped together in clicks for lunch, leaving the only two outcasts—Seulgi and Seungwan. _Perfect timing._ Without hesitation, Seulgi walked over to Seungwan’s chair and coolly tapped her on the shoulder. Outsiders got to stick together.

“Hi, Seungwan.” Seulgi beamed at her in the friendliest way possible. She wanted to make a good first impression this time. Today, her usually messy hair was actually tied up neatly into a ponytail, and her uniform was actually well-pressed before she headed off to school in the morning so her outfit was not so shabby either. Unlike when she first met Joohyun in the woods, well-groomed Seulgi was not a sweaty wild mess this time.

“Hello,” Seungwan returned the gesture shyly. The girl stood from her seat without taking her wide-eyed gaze off of Seulgi. She clutched her lunch box and water bottle.

“I don’t really have any friends here in class. Would you like to eat with me?” Seulgi asked. _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…_

Seungwan smiled widely, her adorable rosy cheeks puffing up once again. “Sure!”

_Assa!_

As they skipped together to the cafeteria, the two of them began talking. It turned out Seungwan was truly a sweet, sprightly fellow. Although she may have acted a bit coyly earlier when she introduced herself in class, Seungwan was actually a lot chattier the moment she felt comfortable. And she seemed to have grown particularly comfortable around Seulgi pretty quickly. The girl affectionately clung to Seulgi’s arm like a fluffy koala—something Seulgi was never used to, but she liked it. Seungwan was not brusque or surly (unlike Soo-Young), and she did not seem too mysteriously melancholic and secretive (unlike Joohyun). This bubbly hamster-like girl happily opened up to her and smiled a lot.

In addition, they had so much in common. They were both from Seoul, and they both just moved into this town not too long ago. They were both born in February, and they both liked to sing. Seulgi could not be happier. The two of them seem to genuinely connect on a soulmate-like level—like they were meant to be.

“I just moved here over the weekend. My dad lost his job in Seoul so we had to look for a cheaper place to live in,” said Seungwan. “You’re my first friend here. I’m really glad I’m not the only new girl in class.”

If Seulgi could burst in happiness, she would. The bear gave a flattered giggle and said, “Aw… I’m really glad I met you too.”

The moment they entered the basement mess hall, Seulgi suddenly remembered Soo-Young. _“You’re eating with me. Got it?” Right. Better not break that promise…_

Seulgi craned her neck and looked around the wide mess hall. A bunch of strangers with lunch boxes and metal trays moved about like any other ordinary school cafeteria scene, but Soo-Young was nowhere in sight.

“What are you looking for?” Seungwan asked, also looking around.

“My neighbour, Park Soo-Young. She’s in 4th grade, but she told me that we should have lunch together. She’s a little unusual, but she’s actually nice in her own way. You should meet her! If we could only find her…”

“Is she not around here? How does she look like?”

“Um, she’s rather tall and big. It shouldn’t be too hard to find her, but I don’t see her at all.”

“Do you want to go walk around and look?”

Seulgi stopped looking around and comfortably sat at a table near the entrance of the cafeteria and motioned for Seungwan to do the same. “I think if we sit here, she’ll easily spot us. I’m sure she’ll turn up some time,” Seulgi shrugged. “Let’s eat, Seungwan.”

Seulgi and Seungwan shared their food together, ignoring all the noise and everyone else in that place. As they ate, they continued talking, but Soo-Young never showed up. Lunchbreak passed and so did the rest of the remaining periods. By the end of the day, Seulgi was too preoccupied with her new friend Seungwan that Soo-Young, who completely went missing-in-action, had slipped her easily distracted mind.

After school, all the students headed out to go back home. When Seulgi and Seungwan reached the bike rack on the way out of school, she noticed something odd. Beside her yellow bicycle was an empty space. Soo-Young’s familiar black mountain bike was missing.

“Oh, right, Soo-Young!” Seulgi snapped her finger. Hoping to catch a glimpse of her big, scary neighbour, Seulgi looked back toward the school building and scanned the rest of the grounds with her eyes in a 180-degree angle. “Gosh, I wonder where she is? Her bike is not here anymore.”

“Maybe she already left,” said Seungwan.

“But she said we should eat together and go to school and go back home together.” Seulgi frowned as she looked down on the empty space beside her bicycle in disappointment. “I can’t believe she would just ditch me.”

Seungwan lightly patted Seulgi’s back to cheer her up. “I’m sure there must be a reason.”

“I guess you’re right.” Although Soo-Young may not be the kindest with her words, she had never broken her promises with Seulgi during their time together in the summer. Whatever the reason for Soo-Young’s disappearance, Seulgi was willing to forgive her.

“By the way, Seungwan, how are you going home?” Seulgi asked as she unlocked her bicycle chain.

“I’m walking home. It’s just thirty minutes anyway.”

Seulgi pulled out her bicycle and walked with Seungwan out to the gate. “Where do you live though?”

After some detailed, fast-paced explaining, it turned out that Seungwan lived in the same street as Seulgi. Not wanting to just leave Seungwan alone, Seulgi stated the best solution she could think of to maximize her time with her new friend. “You can ride with me! You can sit behind me and I’ll drive!” Seulgi then straddled her bicycle and held onto the handlebars. “We can get there twice as fast by cycling so you don’t have to walk for thirty minutes all the time. Trust me, Seungwan, I’ll be careful not to crash into anything, hopefully!”

Seungwan also straddled the bicycle from behind and tightly wrapped her arms around Seulgi’s slim waist. “Okay, I’ll trust you, Seul.”

“1, 2, 3… let’s go!”

As the two new best friends rode off out to the cycling lane of the peaceful countryside, somebody had just walked out of the school building with a big scowl on her face. _Park Soo-Young._ Soo-Young scrunched her brows as she ran toward the gate after catching a glimpse of the yellow bicycle and the two girls riding away on it. _Who the heck was that other kid?!_

When she made it to the bicycle racks, her pupils dilated in shock. “Where’s my bike?!”

 

The next day, Seulgi went out of the flowery gate and found Soo-Young standing there with her bad mood plastered all over her face. “Oh, hey Soo-Young. I was wondering where you went yesterda—”

Soo-Young crossed her arms. The image of Seulgi riding off with some other girl was still fresh in her sharp memory. “Hmph. Didn’t seem like you wondered hard enough.”

As Seulgi stood there with her yellow bicycle, she stared at Soo-Young for a few seconds and noticed something was missing. “Where’s your bike?”

“Who knows?!” The bigger girl threw her hands up in the air in anger and frustration. “When I got out of school yesterday, it was gone! _And_ _so were you_ , traitor!”

“I-I’m sorry!” Seulgi pleaded as if it was all her fault. “I didn’t see your bike either so I thought you already left!”

Trying not to fully unleash her Hiroshima-bomb-like fury, Soo-Young took a deep breath to calm herself down and placed her hands on her hips before glaring at her innocent friend again. “But here’s your chance to redeem yourself from leaving me all alone yesterday.” She walked closer to Seulgi and poked the smaller girl’s chest with her finger. “You should take me to school.”

“You want to ride with me? On my bike?”

“Is there any other way?” Logically thinking, there were plenty of other ways, but she was not going to turn back on her command at all.

Seulgi looked at Soo-Young from top to bottom. “Um… you’re kinda big.”

Soo-Young threateningly raised her voice. “So what, are you insulting my body now?!”

“No, no! It’s just that it’s kinda hard for me to steer with someone bigger riding behind.”

“Ugh, such a weakling…,” Soo-Young muttered to herself, completely audible to Seulgi’s big bear-like ears. “Then I’ll steer!”

When they arrived in school, Soo-Young parked Seulgi’s bicycle in the racks and went to the shoe locker just like yesterday. By then, Seulgi had the opportunity to ask about Soo-Young’s disappearance yesterday. “What _really_ happened yesterday? I waited for you at the cafeteria but you never came.”

“Well, I was held up, alright?”

“Held up by what?”

“By losers. Trust me, you don’t need to know.” Soo-Young slammed the tiny square door of her shoe locker. Alas, it made Seulgi all the more curious. But before she could ask about it, Soo-Young already changed the topic. “Congratulations on the new buddy by the way.”

“New buddy?”

“I saw you and your friend leave for school on your bike yesterday. That’s good.” Words like “good” and “congratulations” were nice words, but Soo-Young saying them in a deadpan tone gave mixed messages.

“Oh, you mean Seungwan? I was going to introduce you to—”

“Whatever.” Soo-Young walked out to the school halls, leaving Seulgi, who was still putting on her slippers. But before she was out of earshot, she said, “Whenever I don’t show up for lunch, go ahead and eat with your new friend. Don’t bother waiting for me.”

And without further explanation, Soo-Young disappeared into the dark school hall.

…….. . .. …

.

.

.

_Hm._

“Wait, Soo-Young!”

Seulgi ran after her. But Soo-Young was gone. Everyone was gone. There was nothing there but a dimly lit hallway that reeked of the scent of antiseptic. “H-hello?” Her voice echoed. As she continued walking, she realized that she was no longer at the school. This was a completely different hall, yet it seemed so eerily familiar...

“Seulgi!” Someone screamed from behind. When she turned around, she saw Seungwan, but she was different. Seungwan had grown into a teenager, and she was crying. She ran into Seulgi’s arms and buried her face into Seulgi’s chest. It seemed Seulgi had grown older and taller as well. “Seulgi… Seulgi… Seulgi…” Seungwan repeated like a tearful chant.

_Oh no. Joohyun Unnie._

“Seulgi… Seulgi…”

.

.

_Seulgi!_

Before she knew it, a blinding light overpowered everything else. Her lungs breathed cold oxygen from the still air. She was never in school or in some hall but was under the warm sheets of a huge King-sized bed.

_Where the hell… oh._

She was at the master bedroom in her parents’ new vacation house. She had just moved in yesterday, and it had been her first night there so she was still getting used to things. To her right, an obnoxiously loud digital alarm clock kept repeating “Seulgi!” over and over again. It was the recorded voice of her mother, and heaven knows when the old woman ever figured out how to set that alarm in the most annoying setting possible. Seulgi reached out to the digital clock and pressed the button to end this noisy madness.

**` October 5, 2018. 10:30 a.m.` **

_Right… Seungwan’s arrival is tomorrow._

When October strikes, the cold comes in like a sneaky bastard. Anywhere out of the sheets was considered unsafe territory. Today was a new day, however, and she wouldn’t let a bit of lethargy withhold her from doing what needed to be done. Getting it all over with, Kang Seulgi slipped off the heavy sheets and automatically headed for the bathroom with her eyes closed.

With a squeaky turn of the knob, the steamy downpour of water started soaking through everything. The messy drenched hair, lightly-tanned skin covered in goosebumps, the sleepy cold air—everything was rained on with warmth.

“Ah, this feels so nice…” That was always the first thing that ran into her head. But it lasted only until the heat brought her back to life and her eyes finally open to the fogged-up bathroom mirror. With her hands, she swiped left to right to wipe off the mist on the glass. The same face with the same plump cheeks and kind mono-lid eyes smiled back at her. But she eventually greeted back with a frown. _I wonder what’s going to happen… meeting Soo-Young and Seungwan again… This is about as believable as my bizarre nightmares…_

Wrapping her bare body in a furry bathrobe, she headed back to the bedroom to dress up and blow-dry her hair. While she was blow-drying her long, thick hair, she received a message on her phone.

“`I’m coming later at around 7-ish.`” It was from Soo-Young.

_Okay then._

 

After getting ready, she went downstairs to have a late brunch. There in that big empty house, she ate all alone in silence, staring at the glass doors all the way across the room. Beyond the transparent glass was a sunny view of the small grassy yard with newly bought potted plants. With her coffee mug in hand, she walked over to the glass door and took a peek outside. A road bike was standing right by the stairs to the side porch. Her father must have left it there for her since she did not have a Korean driver’s license. She still had other things to do, but that two-wheeled contraption looked so tempting…

 _A short trip to the lake isn’t a bad idea,_ she thought with a grin.

Seulgi left the dirty dishes stacked and dressed up in sweats for today’s excursion. And of course, she would never forget to bring along her trusty DSLR, just in case a good photo opportunity might come up.

Seulgi walked with her bike down the end of the street to a small path with wooden steps and a bicycle railing that led down to the Keoul Lake. It was the same woody path with the piled up stones back in the day. _It's great that they finally made a railing here,_ she thought. Going down the zigzag ramp, she remembered those fond memories of her as a child—going down the rocky slope and down to the dirt lakeside. But it was all very different now. Down the steps—the place where Seulgi met Joohyun for the first time—was no longer a woody strip of land; it was now part of a long romantic lakeside path with a cycling lane and a pedestrian lane lined with street lamps and park benches. 

“No matter how everything seems to change, this place is still breath-taking,” Seulgi mumbled to herself as she rode her bicycle down the path.

Although this lake was subject to a lot of change, the view retained its beauty all through the years. On bright and sunny autumn mornings such as this, everything was saturated so beautifully. The vast sky was blue with patches of cottony fluff; right below, a range of mountains reached for the sky—rising and falling indigo shadows as far as the eye could see. Dots of yellowish reddish leaves marked the beginning of autumn’s glory; and reflected down on the glassy waters was the same scene all over again, like an upside-down mirror. From time to time, a few migratory egrets and wild mallards would swoop down or swim by and disturb the tranquil water, distorting and morphing the reflected image. In shallower parts, small leaves and remains of decaying royal lotus sat lazily on the surface, slowly taking their time to say goodbye as the colder months dragged on.

_It's good to see this again..._

But then something caught her eye. Seulgi clamped her brakes and immediately got off her bicycle.

Up on the steep woody hill beyond the lakeside park boundaries, a lone figure stood staring straight at the lake. Atop those steep cliffs were still undeveloped areas of the forest that surrounded the lake years ago. And right now, _someone is clearly standing there on the cliff._

Using her camera lens, she zoomed into the tiny person from far away.

 _“It’s a girl…”_ And she took a snap. Then she zoomed even further.  “Is that… is that _Joohyun Unnie?”_

The girl was standing on her side. Even on full zoom, all Seulgi could see was the girl’s side profile and her long black hair swaying with the breeze.

_No, wait. It can’t be!_

Seulgi switched off her DSLR and turned around, her face grimmer than ever before. _I'm hallucinating. It can't be her. It can never be her._

 

Seulgi spent the rest of the day pacing around the vacation house and analysing the photos she had taken of this girl standing at the edge of a cliff. In this specific angle, the girl looked very similar to Joohyun from years ago. The girl was even wearing a purple sweater.  _Joohyun Unnie loved purple,_ Seulgi thought as she bit her thumb while staring at her laptop screen. If she had brought along more powerful telephoto lens with her on the short bike ride, she might have been able to get a clearer view... so that she may rest in peace tonight knowing that it was NOT Joohyun in that photo. 

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Seulgi looked at the clock. It was 7:31 p.m.  _It's probably Soo-Young._

When she pressed the button on the intercom, a loud voice excitedly greeted her.  _"Unnie, I have chicken and beer!"_

 _Yep, that's Soo-Young alright._ So Seulgi pressed another button to have the entrance open for her guest. Soon someone else's voice was echoing in the quiet house. Seulgi got up to meet Soo-Young at the small hall with the shoe racks.

"Wow! Some place you got here!" Soo-Young complimented. Then she held up a box that smelled of deep fried chicken on one hand and a six-pack can of beers on the other. "I got dinner!"

"Gosh, you didn't have to." Seulgi did not share the same excitement.

Without any formalities, Soo-Young just went straight inside after taking off her shoes. Then she casually placed the chicken and beer on the wooden dining table as if this was her own house—as if they hadn't seen each other in months. "So when is Seungwan Unnie coming?"

"Tomorrow."

"Well then, we can enjoy the chicken and beer together, just the two of us. We can just order pizza or whatever again tomorrow. No problem with that. But don't you think it's fascinating that she decided to come back here? Have you chatted with her yet?" She just went on chatting Seulgi's head off.

Although she was still a little dumbfounded by Soo-young's presence, she replied, "No, not really. I'm using my parents' Facebook account to handle this Airbnb thing so she has no idea I'll even be here."

"Why? You should have chatted with her already! Don't treat her like you treated me on my graduation. I bet she's also out to look for the time capsule."

Seulgi's gaped mouth buffered in trying to get things out. Soo-Young was just shooting all these bullets everywhere and it was hard for her slow brain to make sense of it all. It was hard to keep up with her energy. Finally she stuttered out, "I-i-it's n-not that simple for me to just say 'hi, I'm your old friend, Seulgi', o-okay?"

Sensing Seulgi's anxiety, Soo-Young just dropped the topic. Seungwan was coming anyway, whether Seulgi wanted to send a virtual "hello" or not. They might as well throw a surprise reunion for her tomorrow. Looking around, Soo-young wandered toward the living room where Seulgi's laptop was open on the coffee table. "By the way, I like this place. Way better than your grandparents' old house." Then her eyes stopped at Seulgi's face. "Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"Um..."

Before Seulgi could answer, Soo-Young sat down on the sofa right in front of Seulgi's laptop and saw the enlarged photograph of the girl on the cliff. Soo-Young leaned close and stared at it. "Is that...? Who is that?"

"I don't know," Seulgi answered. "I took it earlier today. It looks kinda like—"

"It looks like Joohyun Unnie." Questionable, but that was exactly how she looked like, if they could remember her properly.

"Yeah."

They both stared at each other in dumbfounded silence.

After a while, Soo-Young awkwardly laughed and said, "Eh, that can't be her."

"Yeah..." Seulgi lifelessly sat on a single seat sofa. "I just saw that girl this morning and thought they looked so much alike."

Soo-Young looked at the picture once more. "What is she doing on that woody cliff though?" Her voice became low and less excited.

"I have no idea."

Then Soo-Young awkwardly forced herself to lighten up again, "Eh, it's probably just someone who likes looking at the lake and looks just like her."

Seulgi awkwardly smiled as well. "Yeah..."

"Joohyun Unnie has been dead for years."

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note  
> I know this story makes zero sense right now... but thanks for reading anyway. Have a good day.  
> And if you have any feedback or thoughts like what you like about the story or what you think is going on here, please don't hesitate to comment :P


	7. The Redeemer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: For this story, the narrator will use the name “Seungwan” to refer to her childhood in the past, and call her “Wendy” as an adult.

 

**CHAPTER 6**

**The Redeemer**

_“Ladies and gentlemen, we are running into a zone of turbulence. Please stay seated and keep your seatbelts fastened. Thank you.”_

A horrifyingly jarring series of tossing and tipping ensued through the dark night, many miles above the foreboding Pacific. Amongst the restless passengers within the dimly lit airbus was a lonely traveller, staring blankly at the screen right in front of her. An action-packed, highly-acclaimed box office movie had been playing for a while now. At this point, she should have already understood the plot, but whatever story it was trying to tell, she had trouble taking in any of it. The scenes only mindlessly flashed before her, making absolutely no sense to her exhausted brain. She was watching, but she wasn’t. The turbulence was not helping with her concentration either.

At some point within the movie, some character got terribly injured.

_Oh no._

Her lifeless pupils suddenly dilated. Who this character was and how he got injured never registered to her earlier, but he surely caught her attention now. He was a bloody mess—eyelids barely opened, breathing short and unstable, fingers weakly twitching, and life at the brink of ending. Then a scream of shock and agony resonated through the scene of chaos. Someone else had seen the injured. Soon wails of a deafening ambulance siren came into the scene. The injured was lifted on stretchers and hastily transferred to the hospital. But then—

The scene was abruptly paused.

A finger touched the screen and the movie was closed. With a heavy sigh, Wendy Son (known to her old friends as Son Seungwan) took off the airline-provided headset and let it dangle around her neck. She leaned back on her uncomfortable economy class seat and closed her eyes, feeling every sharp movement of the plane, listening to the incessant hum of the loud engines.

 

Months ago, Wendy had volunteered at the emergency room of her university hospital in Toronto. She had just finished her second year in medical school and was looking for ways to productively gain more experience and training in the medical field during her summer vacation. At first, she was excited. For the longest time, becoming a doctor had been her only goal in life. This may just be a step in the right direction.

However, the ER was not the friendliest place in the hospital at all. Every day, patients get rushed in. Cases ranged from deadly strokes and heart attacks to severe life-threatening injuries and poisoning. It was astonishing how pain and suffering never ceased every single day. No matter how big the emotional stress this job entailed, Wendy tried her best to keep her composure. Her heart ached for these broken strangers, and that drove her to stay strong and help out by making beds, preparing wheelchairs, giving water to patients, and a bunch of other odd jobs as instructed by her supervisor.

But that did not last long.

One day, a patient was rushed in by the medics and Wendy saw her body being quickly transferred onto a hospital bed. The fast-paced movements in the emergency department always gave Wendy this awful adrenaline rush; everything usually happened so quickly when it came to the most urgent patients. However, this time, as the body was lifted, Wendy’s eyes were drawn to the poor thing. She got a clear view of that particular patient, and within that moment, everything seemed to have moved in slow motion.

_The patient was a teenage girl. Or at least, she was supposed to be a teenage girl. With the unsightly state of her tarnished figure, it was difficult to tell what she was anymore. Streams of blood oozed in all the places that what might have been youthful and beautiful. Bruises and wide-open cuts dyed her skin in all shades of red._

Nurses quickly came and asked for information as the medics began telling them about her weak and unstable breathing and low blood pressure. Since she was idly standing by, Wendy was asked to help push the stretcher on the way the emergency room. Unfortunately, the moment they reached the ER, the girl’s pulse was almost gone. But the doctors did not give up hope. They immediately hooked her up on a ventilator and heartbeat monitor.

As the medics continued talking, Wendy overheard something so unimaginably morbid, _“…She was repeatedly beaten with a baseball bat and has suffered major concussions…”_

While they were running checkups, the patient’s heartbeat suddenly went flat and there was the dreaded sound of a monotone. _Cardiac arrest._

Wendy stood petrified at the sidelines, watching the scene unfold before her very eyes. The body convulsed and jumped to the high-voltage shocks from the defibrillator, but with every shock the more her thrashed body seemed unresponsive. In the end, the doctors’ efforts were futile. Eventually, they had to give up. They checked the clock and announced the time. She was dead.

That evening after finishing her volunteering shift at the ER, Seungwan stood before the vast shore of Lake Ontario. Unbothered by the winds, she stood staring straight at the great lake without once taking her eyes off of the vast view. She had often come here ever since she moved here about nine years ago. She often spent time staring at the view for hours on end, but for some reason, it felt empty. Something was missing here. Was it because the sun sets on the tall buildings behind her and never on the other side of the water? Was it because to insignificant little beings, this great American lake appeared to be more like an endless ocean than a land-locked body of water? As the sun began to disappear behind her, the light from the waters gradually dissipated. It was dark enough on the far end for the horizon to be blurred from sight. Unlike the lake in Yeonsan, she could not see what was on the other side of the lake.

 _It’s never the same,_ she thought. For the longest time, she searched for familiarity in this place but familiarity was never there. Seungwan crouched down on the sandy shore and began to draw meaningless lines on the sand.

 _“So Seungwan, tell me what’s bothering you,”_ the familiar voice of someone from her childhood spoke to her from a 10-year-old memory that began to replay in her head.

 _“You don’t deserve this messed-up life, Joohyun Unnie,”_ fifteen-year-old Seungwan told her.

_“Why are you so concerned about me? My life is my problem, not yours.”_

_“Of course I’m concerned! Besides, when one of us have problems, you always stepped in and tried to help. You care about us, but how come you don’t want us to care about you?”_

_“I’m older than all of you, that’s why. I’m the one who’s supposed to care, not you.”_

Wendy dusted off the sand from her fingers and stood back up.  _She was wrong. We were all supposed to care for each other._

***

“Hey, you! Wake up!”

With no warning, the comforting warmth Seulgi was wrapped up in had been tossed aside followed by the rush of cold air. She squirmed and whined like a newborn infant and tried grabbing for her sheets without opening her crusty eyes.

“Seungwan Unnie is arriving today! Get your ass ready, sleepyhead!” Soo-Young nagged.

Seulgi peeked at her towering friend with one barely opened eye. “It’s barely sunrise.”

“We’re picking her up from the airport.”

Suddenly, both of Seulgi’s eyes shot open. “What? No, the deal was that she comes here on her own!”

“Too late. I already told her we’re picking her up.”

Seulgi sat up on her bed and looked to Soo-Young in disbelief. “How did you even…?”

“I used your parents’ Facebook account. I saw you type in the username and password on your laptop last night. I also stalked Seungwan Unnie’s profile. She’s _really_ cute.”

“You told her that _we’re_ picking her up?!”

“Don’t worry she still thinks we’re your parents, so the surprise isn’t ruined.”

The two of them got ready and hopped into Soo-Young’s luxury SUV. Seulgi rode shotgun beside Soo-Young, clearly not showing the same enthusiasm. It was too early in the morning for Seulgi to even consider it a morning. The sun was barely even up.

“Nice car,” Seulgi muttered, squeezing the elegant, high-quality cushioned seat and lightly rocking it to test its bounciness. Then she brought her face closer to the small LED screen and sound system and lightly ran her finger on the buttons. “I see your family is still doing well. No wonder you can afford to waste your time on that time capsule...”

After fastening her seatbelt, Soo-Young glared at the still-somewhat-sleepy Seulgi. “Is that what you _still_ think this is? A waste of time?” Seulgi’s mouth twitched open, but before she could come up with anything to say to defend herself, Soo-Young switched on the engine and said, “Well, I guess you’re only here because fate trapped you into it. I’ll take that over nothing.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Seulgi tried to take back her words.

“I think you do mean it that way,” Soo-Young said as she slowly drove out of her parking position. “But you should know I’m using my hard-earned money for this entire operation. My family doesn’t support me anymore, unlike your mommy and daddy who still treat you like a princess. To be honest, I’ve been living in my car for the past few days before last night. I sold a lot of my stuff and left my parents’ house right before you called me a week ago.”

“You’re a homeless runaway? And what, all for this?” Seulgi was shocked and slightly bothered. “You’re crazy.”

“You can call it dedication. Besides, I’m an adult with a bachelor’s degree. I have every right to make my own bad decisions,” said Soo-Young. “I don’t want to make a commitment by getting my own place right now. Besides, a one-year deposit isn’t cheap.”

“Where do you even take showers? You know what, TMI. Never mind.”

“Yep, you’d really rather not hear about that,” Soo-Young said as she continued driving through the small streets. “If you hadn’t called to tell me about your vacation house, I’d probably still be living in my car. You saved my ass. I know you’re probably reluctant about all of this, but thanks a lot for staying this time, Seulgi Unnie. You may think it’s a waste of time, but looking for that time capsule and meeting you and Seungwan Unnie means a lot to me. You know, I suddenly remember that one time—I think it was my 11th birthday—I was being bullied by these kids, but you and Seungwan Unnie helped me out.”

“We did?”

“Yeah. Now that I think about it, it was the first time I realized I’ve made real friends. You two were my first _real_ friends.”

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: September 2005_ **

Today was only the first day of school, but things were already at its worst for Park Soo-Young. Not only did she have to deal with corporal punishment for a crime she never committed, but she also had to walk all the way back home after getting her calves repeatedly struck by a wooden stick. Without her bike, going home would take thirty minutes. And to make matters worse, Kang Seulgi, the only kid that she had grown to like, had gone off with some other girl.

 _And they say I’m the bully,_ she scoffed as she trudged and limped with her sore calves and teary eyes all the way home. Maybe she was nothing but an unlovable monster destined to be persecuted by everyone around her. Maybe she deserved it. She just was not sure why, but this had been the norm for so long. Whether it be in school or in their house, she was always that scorned, despised loser. And unfortunately, whenever she tried to fight back, she always ended up in bigger trouble.

“Congratulations on the new buddy by the way.” When she told Seulgi that the following day, she meant it.

“Whenever I don’t show up for lunch, go ahead and eat with your new friend. Don’t bother waiting for me.” _Seulgi Unnie doesn’t deserve to hang around me. She deserves better._

Soo-Young tried to disappear into the busy school halls to get away from Seulgi as soon as possible. She did not want to be seen with her any longer. She liked Seulgi; she truly did. Seulgi was a pure soul, much like the sweet canines in the dog shelter. And although she only wanted to use the gullible new kid for her own amusement back then, every time they played together, she started to see her differently. A girl who liked dogs, a girl who liked games, a girl who liked to ride her bike—maybe it was all these common interests, and maybe it was the cute way Seulgi genuinely smiled at her—who knows—but Soo-Young was starting to _care_ about her. However, bringing innocent Seulgi into her hell of a messed-up small-town life would be selfish and unfair. It was the same concept as adopting a dog of her own. What’s the use of adopting a good dog if she probably won’t be able to take care of it anyway? What’s the use of calling Seulgi her friend if she probably couldn’t be a good friend to her anyway? If they pair up, others might see Seulgi in a bad light too and bully her, and Soo-Young did not want that.

“Wait, Soo-Young!”

Despite her attempt to leave, this clueless unnie still ran after her.

“Don’t talk to me anymore, okay?!” she yelled. Everyone passing by the hall saw it. That’s good. She needed to sever this tie once and for all. But when she looked into Seulgi’s kind eyes, she saw something she did not want to see—a crushed spirit. She had officially hurt the only friend she had. But she had to suck it up. Words were already said. There was no turning back now. It was for the best.

But little did she know that as she walked away, Seulgi’s gaze was fixed on one thing—right below her yellow skirt, the bruises on Soo-Young’s hurt calves.

***

“Seulgi?”

“Huh?” 5th-grade Seulgi snapped out of her seemingly blank state and met Seungwan’s worried gaze. The bear had been vacantly staring on her lunchbox while slowly chewing her food. By the way she was slowly chewing her food, that kimbap piece in her mouth might have already turned into cud by now.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Even with that smile, she did not sound very convincing.

“Are you sure?” Seungwan reached out to touch her friend’s hand. “You seem out of it today. Did something happen?”

“I don’t know,” Seulgi began with a sigh. “Soo-Young lost her bike yesterday, and she seemed upset that I just left school without her. Then just this morning she asked me to take her to school on my bike, but the moment we got to school, she told me to stop talking to her out of nowhere.”

“Why?”

“She’s probably still mad about yesterday. I don’t know,” she sighed again. “Then, I noticed… she has bruises on her legs.”

Seungwan retracted her hand. Then she said in a low, concerned voice, “Bruises? You don’t think she got into trouble, do you?”

“What else would those bruises be? She must have done something bad to get punished like that. I hope it’s not my fault.” Seulgi rested her head on her palms. “I feel bad for her.”

 

Meanwhile, somewhere in one of the 4th-grade classrooms, a girl with bruised legs was left alone to her misery. She tried to eat the lunchbox meal her mother had prepared for her last night, but the dry, old rice was too difficult to swallow. None of this tasted great. None of this felt great. Finally, she closed the lid of the Tupperware and placed it back into her backpack. Her notebooks, her pencils were all packed away. With a final zip of her bag, she forced her aching legs to stand. Without any hesitation, she marched out of the empty classroom and into the janitor’s room. At the very back beside the dusty shelf of paint and cleaning utilities was a metal door with a screen window. Using the keys she had stolen from one of the janitors last year, she unlocked the door, snuck out to the back area, and used the conveniently placed ladder to climb over the brick fence. Before anyone realised, she had already left the school premises.

 

Before heading back to class after lunch, Seulgi and Seungwan decided to go to the ladies’ room for a short bathroom break. The moment they both locked their separate stalls other girls came into the bathroom hall. Unfamiliar voices ringed in the hall as well as the sound of faucets running with water.

 _“Soo-Young seemed mad,”_ one said with a chuckle. _“She stayed in class and decided to eat there.”_

 _“Well, who wouldn’t be ashamed to be her?”_ another girl said in a disgustingly cocky manner.

_“By the way, what did you do to her precious bike?”_

_“I left it at the junkyard.”_

“ _Ooh… good one. But I bet her parents would have enough money to buy her another one anyway.”_

_“It doesn’t matter. At least she won’t have her bike for a few days until her parents get her a new one. She’s such a spoiled brat.”_

Seulgi was not sure about the details of what was going on here, but it sure as hell made her furious that she forgot to do her business in that stall. Before she could burst out and call out these girls for whatever they did to Soo-Young’s bike, a piece of torn toilet paper was slid in from the next stall. It was a note from Seungwan.

_Did you hear that?_

Before Seulgi could do anything about it, the two girls who came in earlier had already left. After making sure the coast was clear, Seulgi and Seungwan went out of their stalls.

“Seulgi!” Seungwan grabbed hold of Seulgi’s arm. “Could they be talking about your friend’s bike?”

Seulgi nodded with an unusually stern look on her usually docile face. “Those bullies… We need to do something about this.” Although Seungwan had never officially met Soo-Young, she agreed to help.

 

As soon as school was over that afternoon, Seulgi and Seungwan went to look for Soo-Young in school. When they passed by the 4th-grade classrooms, Seulgi heard some students gossiping in the hall.

_“How did Soo-Young ditch class? The guards won’t let anybody out the gate.”_

_“She probably bribed them or something.”_

“They sound like the same girls,” Seungwan whispered to Seulgi as the two of them watched the back figure of two younger students leave the hall. They did not see their faces. “What should we do? Do you think she really ditched class?”

Seulgi bit her lip and clenched her fist. “I don’t think it’s impossible. She knows the whole town like the back of her hand. Anyway, if Soo-Young’s not here anymore, maybe we should look for the bike first. It may still be in the public junkyard.”

 

The junkyard was never a tourist attraction. It was never the prettiest place in town. Within the barbed fence was a clear view of mutilated cars and engines, wrecked television sets and other appliances, and piles of other recyclable garbage. Somewhere in the midst of all that scrap was a polluting flame—the source of the wafting smoke that could be seen even from afar in the plain. Because of the potential hazards, children were often advised not to venture in there. Obviously, it was not the most child-friendly place in town, despite it being within a 3-minute walk from the grade school.

Having no past experience with rural junkyards and scrapyards, the two Seoul kids cautiously walked right in through the gateless entrance. With each step, they looked around for any sign of life.

“Seulgi?” a familiar voice called from behind. Seulgi and Seungwan turned around to look back at the entrance.

There standing by the wide gap in the barbed fence was a familiar neighbour, the mysterious girl with the pretty face, Bae Joohyun. Down by her side was a big, heavy-looking sack. She put effort in dragging it in by her hand, and it clinked and clanged and jangled with every little movement as she walked closer.

“Joohyun Unnie?” Seulgi did not expect to see her here of all places. She has not seen her since summer vacation. “What are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the same thing.” Joohyun looked at her from top to bottom and did the same to Seungwan. Not knowing who she was, Seungwan slightly trembled before her. “Nice uniforms,” Joohyun said in a rather robotic monotone.

“Um, thanks.” It was such an awkward moment to talk about outfits.

“You don’t want to be seen wearing that in here, unless you have scraps to sell,” Joohyun softly said as stepped within two feet of Seulgi’s reach. The more this intimidating teenager came closer, the tighter Seungwan gripped Seulgi’s arm.

“You shouldn’t play around here,” the raven-like girl told her.

“We’re here because my friend Soo-Young’s bike was stolen and brought here. We came to get it back.”

“Soo-Young? Park Soo-Young? The girl across the street?” Apparently, Joohyun knew her.

“Yes.”

For about ten seconds, Joohyun just stood there staring at the two younger girls without saying anything. Seungwan looked back and forth to Joohyun and to Seulgi with her eyes. Pressing her body closer to Seulgi’s back, she anxiously waited for either to say anything.

“Maybe we should just leave,” Seungwan whispered into Seulgi’s ear.

Before the two 5th graders could move, Joohyun suddenly asked, “What does it look like?”

“Huh?” Joohyun suddenly speaking caught Seulgi off guard again.

“The bike.”

Seulgi tried her best to describe Soo-Young’s black mountain bike with as much detail as possible. After a few more seconds, Joohyun amazingly recited everything back to her down to the last detail. “I’ll go ask. You two get out of here. Meet me on the benches of the bus stop near the grade school later.” Joohyun let go of the sack she was holding and went behind the two girls to escort them out with a light push. When the sack fell off-balance, some of its contents spilt out on the dusty earth.

 _Empty soju bottles?_ Seulgi tried to help pick up the bottles that rolled out, but Joohyun stopped her.

“Go. I’ll take care of this, okay?” Joohyun insisted.

And so, they left.

“Who was that?” Seungwan asked Seulgi as soon as they were out of the junkyard premises.

“Our neighbour. She lives in the house beside ours.”

“She’s scary,” Seungwan said while hugging herself and rubbing her arms.

Seulgi found that to be an odd comment. Joohyun was never a scary figure to her. She was too blinded by the mysterious beauty that the raven-like girl embodied. “What do you mean? She’s actually nice. Maybe a little unusual, but she’s not scary, I swear.”

“I don’t know… Something about the way she looked at us is intimidating.”

“But she did agree to help us, didn’t she? She’s nice, I’m telling you.”

After a while of sitting around waiting for Joohyun, she finally came but she did not have the bike with her. Seulgi stood from the bench the moment she saw Joohyun coming. “Unnie! Happened to the bike?”

Joohyun dejectedly shook her head from side to side.

“It wasn’t there?”

“No. It was sold to the bike shop downtown. Sorry, Seulgi.”

“It was sold?!” Seulgi’s bubbly little face turned grim and the smile on her face was cast away. Joohyun stood there looking at her with pity in her eyes, but she did not approach her or do anything to uplift her disappointed spirits.

“Seulgi… I guess we can’t do anything about it,” Seungwan said, touching her shoulder to calm her down.

“But no, it was Soo-Young’s bike,” Seulgi reasoned. “Maybe if we talk to the bike shop owner, we can get it back!”

Joohyun’s eyes looked straight to Seungwan. Her piercing gaze sent messages that even the silence could not bear to drown out. Although the teenage unnie just stood there without a word, it seemed like she was trying to say something… like she wanted Seungwan to do something. Then Joohyun looked at Seulgi again.

“Where is this bike shop?” Seulgi asked. She was too optimistic.

“It’s a little far on foot,” Joohyun answered.

“What about the bus?”

“The bus only comes around to this stop at exactly 8:30 a.m., 3:00 p.m., and 8:00 p.m. It’s already 3:15. Trust me, you don’t want to wait for the next one.”

“Then let’s just walk.”

Seeing that Seulgi was too determined, Joohyun looked at Seungwan again, as if she was contemplating something. Seungwan had no idea what to say. She was not sure why Joohyun stared at her like that. After a while, the unnie finally answered, “Then let’s go.”

Seulgi and Seungwan followed Joohyun for almost an hour until they reached downtown. When they reached the place, Joohyun went with them into the shop and asked for the bicycle herself. The shop had an array of brand new and used bicycles and parts. Seulgi and Seungwan looked around while Joohyun conversed with the owner.

“Oh, this?” the shop owner showed them the black mountain bike standing on one corner of the shop.

“Yes! It’s that one!” Seulgi exclaimed and grabbed the handlebars. “Thank you!”

“Hey, kid, what do you think you’re doing?”

“You see, sir, it was stolen…,” Joohyun tried to explain to the man.

“It was sold to me. I paid money for that. You can’t just take it unless you’re going to pay for it as well!”

Since none of them could prove that it was a stolen bike, the three of them left the shop dejected and empty-handed. They did not have money to buy it back either.

“Maybe if I tell Soo-Young, her mom can do something about it,” Seulgi thought out loud. “She’s probably able to afford it.”

Joohyun’s eyebrows subtly twitched upon hearing Seulgi’s idea. Her lips parted as if she had words to say, but she immediately bit her tongue.

***

“I’ll visit again tomorrow. I want to spend my birthday with the dogs.” An old hatchback car pulled over in their little neighbourhood and out came Park Soo-Young, who seemed to be in a better mood than earlier. She lugged her backpack out and pushed the car door back to close it.

“Okay, but no cutting classes anymore!” called out the driving adult peeking through the open car window. It was the same unnie with the same name from the dog shelter.

“Ugh, fine…” Park Soo-Young rolled her eyes. After she left school at lunchtime earlier, she walked all the way to the dog shelter downtown. It was her only place for escape. Whenever she felt upset or bored or lonely, she went to the dog shelter. Usually, she went there riding her bicycle because downtown was a little far to travel on foot. Unfortunately, she did not have her bicycle this time. Good thing Choi Soo-Young Unnie at the dog shelter was kind enough to give her a ride home.

After waving goodbye to the kind lady driving the old hatchback, Soo-Young saw someone on the other side of the street staring straight at her. With long dark hair and pale expressionless face eerily lit by a dim, reddish light from the setting sun, Soo-Young almost thought she saw some creepy unmoving ghost. But no, it was just that creepy neighbour unnie who lived in that creepy old house beside Seulgi’s house…

 _Why the heck is she staring at me like that?_ Soo-Young thought as she turned around to unlock the gate to her own house.

Before she could open the gate, she heard light steps approaching her from behind.

“Park Soo-Young?” Soo-Young had lived here all her life but it was the very first time she had ever heard that creepy raven-like unnie’s voice. Never had she heard anyone say her name with a voice so delicate—a voice so soft to the ears.

When Soo-Young turned around their eyes met. There was no denying it; Joohyun was definitely bewitchingly beautiful. It was the first time she had seen her enchanting eyes up close. She was speechless.

With no words of introduction, Joohyun simply asked, “Your mom’s not home yet?”

“No…” As fearless as Soo-Young usually was, this teenage girl made her feel anxious even though she was not doing anything.

Joohyun just nodded and looked back at her dark house. Then, she turned to Soo-Young again. Before leaving, she said, “Try raising your legs up and pressing ice on your bruises. It will help ease the pain.”

“Um, okay…” _That was random…_

“Also, if you go to the pharmacy, ask for arnica oil. It makes your bruises heal faster.” And so Joohyun left to go to her own house.

_Creepy…_

 

The next morning, Seungwan stepped out of their gate and waited for her parents to come out as well. She usually rode with her parents to school early every morning—dropping her off in school before heading to work at a law firm in the next city. Because of that, she was often the first student there, but at least it was a surefire way to keep her from being tardy in attending her classes. However, today, her parents were running a little later than usual. While her parents were scrambling to look for whatever files they had lost inside the house, Seungwan waited outside by their car.

As Seungwan watched the sky get brighter that peaceful morning, the black gate of Joohyun’s house slowly creaked open, breaking the silence.

 _“But I don’t wanna…”_ Seungwan heard the small squeaky voice of a tiny kid coming from Joohyun’s house. _“I want cookies… …no, I want them now!”_

Seungwan took a few steps in the direction of Joohyun’s house. Then at that moment, someone had stepped out of the black gate.

“Joohyun Unnie?”

The moment she got out of the gate, Joohyun abruptly stopped on her tracks and glanced at Seungwan in fear as if she had just seen a ghost. In her hand was a smaller hand of someone else from inside the gate, and she clutched it tighter as Seungwan came closer. After a while, the owner of the smaller hand had skipped out of the gate too—a little girl of about six or seven years old. While her hair was neatly tied in cute pigtails, every part of her face below her pretty eyes was covered by a black mask. Seungwan noticed that the little girl’s sweet eyes were similar to Joohyun’s.

“Oh hey, there’s someone,” said the little one as she stuck close to Joohyun.

“Shhh.” Joohyun lightly squeezed the child’s hand. The tiny girl looked up at her and quickly hid behind her back.

“Hello,” Seungwan greeted with a big smile. She always liked little kids. Being an only child, she has never had a younger sibling and have always wanted one. The little kid held a hand up and adorably waved, but still stayed hidden behind Joohyun’s legs. Joohyun, on the other hand, stared at Seungwan with this unreadable expression with a tinge of fear on her face.

Born to two very serious lawyers, Seungwan was raised with a keen sense for people. With her intuition, she easily could tell if someone was upset or bothered by something just by observing. And the entire time she was with Joohyun, she could feel a sense of foreboding in her, as if Joohyun was always on guard about something. 

“S-seungwan,” Joohyun stuttered nervously. Without letting Seungwan get a word in edgewise, she tugged at the little kid hiding behind her and said, “We need to go.”

“But I want cookies,” repeated the child. This tyke seemed completely clueless about everything.

“I’m sorry, Yeri. Unnie can’t buy you cookies today.”

When Joohyun got close to Seungwan, she whispered, “Please tell Seulgi to meet me at the lake later before sunset.”

“Okay…” Seungwan was not sure what that was about, but Joohyun seemed rather serious.

“Bye,” said the adorable squeaky voice as she was dragged away by the teenage unnie.

“Bye… I guess.”

***

“What do you think she wants?” Seungwan asked Seulgi as they climbed a few rocks and waddled through twigs by the lakeside. She awkwardly navigated through the wild grass and tall weeds, clearly not used to the untamed wilderness. She already got herself a few scratches from those prickly rose bushes.

“We’ll find out later, won’t we?” Seulgi was too happy-go-lucky, but Seungwan trusted her anyway.

“Earlier, I saw her with this smaller kid, whom I am assuming is her sister," Seungwan recalled. "She seems very protective of her.”

“You met Yeri?” Seulgi was a little surprised. “Joohyun Unnie has mentioned her a few times, but I’ve never actually met her.”

“By the way, have you talked to your friend Soo-Young yet?”

“No. I think she’s avoiding me. I tried looking for her in school but I couldn’t find her. I even tried ringing her house but no one is answering. I don’t know what I did wrong. So I wrote her a letter concerning the whereabouts of her bike and slid it in through their gate. I thought maybe she can tell her parents about it so they can solve it themselves, but I haven’t heard from her.”

“You don’t think something bad happened to her again, do you?”

“That’s what I’m worried about. I hope she’s okay. Anyway, we’re almost there.”

The moment they reached the spot in the lake with the view of the lotuses, Seungwan was amazed. “Wow, another great view. I’ve never seen anything like this in Seoul.”

“Yeah. Joohyun Unnie took me here back then. The lotuses were a lot prettier in the summer though.”

Since it was already September, the royal lotuses were starting to wilt and rot in preparation for autumn and winter. A lot of the flowers had already fallen off, and the pinkish hue that dyed this side of the lake had disappeared along with it. Despite that, the glassy waters remained calm and at peace with the change.

“Seulgi? Seungwan?” Joohyun just arrived as well, but it seemed she had taken a different route to this place.

“Unnie? Where’d you come from?”

Joohyun did not answer her question. Instead, she held out a clear mason jar _filled with money_. Seulgi’s and Seungwan’s eyes grew wide in surprise.

“What’s this?” Seulgi asked. The confusion in her eyes was evident.

“You need to go buy back your friend’s bike.”

“Wait, what?” They were still very, very confused.

“I’m sorry it’s all small bills and coins,” Joohyun continued. “But if you go to the bank just across the bicycle shop, they’d be willing to exchange this for bigger bills. I already counted all of it. It’s exactly enough for you to buy your friend’s bike back.”

“But why are you giving us all this money?” Seulgi asked. “Did you save all of this?”

“Don’t worry about me.” For the first time, Seungwan saw the intimidating girl smile. Joohyun gave Seulgi a wry smile and affectionately patted her cheek. At that moment, Seungwan began to change her mind. Maybe Joohyun was not so intimidating after all.

“Promise me you will get the bike back to her tomorrow, okay?” Joohyun continued. “You _have_ to get it back for her, you understand me? And you have to give it to her tomorrow, but don't look for her at home. She won't be there.”

"If she's not at home then where would she be?" Seungwan wondered.

Seulgi snapped her fingers. "I think I know exactly where. I can't believe I never bothered to look there!"

"Where?"

"At the dog shelter." 

***

“You know, this isn’t exactly the best place to be celebrating your birthday.”  The tall dog shelter lady had sat beside Park Soo-Young on the floor, wondering why she was spending her birthday alone.  “Whatever happened to your friend Seulgi? Don’t you two hang out anymore?”

“I let her go,” Soo-Young nonchalantly said with a shrug.

“What do you mean you let her go?”And you know what this adult was thinking: _Kids say the strangest things..._

“She found a new friend. Someone better than me,” Soo-Young had said rather bitterly. “She’ll probably be better off without me anyway, so I just ended it.”

“That’s not—” (…how friends work…)

Before Choi Soo-Young had finished her sentence, the distinctly bright sound of the door chimes interrupted her. Someone had come into the reception. She immediately got up and headed for the reception area, leaving the 11-year-old with the dogs. Moments later, the lady began calling to her. “Soo-Young, come out here!”

Soo-Young immediately scrambled to the reception area. There she had found Seulgi and _the other girl._ But then there was something else—something she did not expect at all.  _They managed to get her mountain bike back._

“H-how did you guys...?”

“We found it at the junkyard,” they lied. (But of course, Soo-Young didn't know about that.) 

“See, your friends care about you,” said the dog shelter lady.

At that moment, Soo-Young stood before them at a loss for words. A warm, overwhelming feeling rushed all over her, making her eyes all oddly watery.  _Even when I yelled at Seulgi Unnie and told her to leave, she still found my bike for me on my birthday?_ She could not understand it. Why in the world was this girl still so kind to her? After all the horrible things she had done, Seulgi still managed to do the unthinkable and not just forgive her, but also get her bike back? _What is wrong with this kid?! I don’t deserve her at all!_

“Happy birthday, Soo-Young,” Seulgi had told her as she gently came closer for a hug. Although smaller, the hug Seulgi gave had been the best hug she had ever received up until that moment. She could not help it; those tears filling up her eyes just had to fall. She had never been this touched by a heartfelt gesture in her life. And from that moment on, she knew that Seulgi will stay as a very special friend to her, always.

***

 

**_Present Day: October 2018_ **

“You guys somehow found my bike on my birthday,” Soo-Young chuckled, reminiscing that old memory. “Talk about perfect timing. Then you both told me how you didn't care about what others think of me. You both stuck with me even with others bullied me."

After Soo-Young recounted that tale, Seulgi suddenly remembered. They never knew it was Soo-Young’s birthday at that time. They just followed Joohyun’s orders and kept the whole process of buying back the bike a secret from Soo-Young. _I guess Soo-Young never knew the real story..._ But that was how Seulgi, Seungwan, and Soo-Young became the best of friends. If it wasn’t for Joohyun, they would not be together.

"I didn't think I'd ever have friends like that back then. You both meant the world to me back then. That's why I was so devastated when we all just fell apart. I felt like I lost everything at that time. But now we have a chance to start over.”

 _Start over..._ Seulgi sat there contemplating it all.  _Maybe..._

 

After hours on the road, the two of them finally arrived at the airport. As they waited, a short, light-haired girl walked out to the waiting area with her suitcase. She looked exhausted, but her eyes wandered toward the waiting crowd.

“Seungwan! Son Seungwan!” Soo-Young called out while excitedly waving her long arm up in the air. “Over here, Unnie!”

The moment Wendy found them, Seulgi bit her lip and gave her a wave as well. The exhausted traveller’s face lit up the moment she realised who they were.

“Soo-Young? Seulgi?”

With no time to lose, Seungwan walked toward them as fast as she could. Soo-Young immediately dragged Seulgi with her and ran toward their old friend as well. For the first time in many years, the three of them were reunited together once again.

“What is going on? Why are you both here?” Wendy could not comprehend what was happening right now. These two friends she had not seen in years—they were right before her very eyes. Reality felt more like fiction at this point.

“We’ll talk later,” said Soo-Young. “You must be tired. Let’s go head back.”

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note
> 
> In the flashback, Joohyun somehow figured out that Soo-Young will never tell her parents about the bike, thus, taking the matter in her own hands by making sure that Seulgi and Seungwan did end up buying the bike back for Soo-Young on her birthday. As for her intentions (why Joohyun decided to help them to that extent), you guys will have to figure that out on your own for now.


	8. Deja vu

**CHAPTER 7**

**Deja vu**

 

“I can’t believe you both,” Wendy said as she comfortably leaned back on the backseat of Soo-Young's car. 

“Surprise, huh? It was my idea,” Soo-Young proudly proclaimed. "I couldn't wait to see the look on your face!"

“Yes, very surprising.”

Surprising, to say the least. When Wendy booked that plane back to Korea after staying in Canada all these years, she never expected that her two old friends would be the first ones to ever greet her. Every now and then she took little glimpses of the two girls’ faces through the rearview mirror, checking to see if they were real—and they were very much real.

 _Soo-Young has grown to be very burdensomely gorgeous. And Seulgi has this chic, aloofly cool vibe to her, but still has the same gentle baby face._ How anyone could grow up to be very different and yet still be very much the same had always been mind-boggling. They were the very same friends, but they have all definitely grown into adults. And right now, they were all together in one car. It was a strangely familiar scene, like the new and improved sequel to an older film that was lost and forgotten all through the years.

“So, Seungwan Unnie, or should I say Wendy Son, what’s your story?” Soo-Young suddenly asked as they zoomed through the highway. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, I just…” Wendy had no idea where to even begin...

_._

_._

_._

_“You’re leaving? To Korea? Since when did you decide this? I don’t understand, Wendy. This isn’t like you.”_

_“I’m just not in a good place right now.”_ Wendy had tried to explain to her roommate in Canada about her current situation a month before she had left.  _“I need a break.”_

As a student, Wendy Son had been the best. She had the best GPA, the best field performance, a perfect attendance… She was the best at everything. Needless to say, that also gave her plenty of scholarships and great opportunities. With her hardworking attitude, nothing could possibly stand in her way of achieving her goals—at least, that was what others thought. It never made sense for “the best” to suddenly decide on taking a break for an entire semester.

_“I know this may seem random, but I’ll be staying in Korea just for a month. Maybe a little longer. I know I usually think things through before heading in, but with the semester starting, I need to make quick decisions and honestly, I can’t… I can’t continue med school right now. Not in this state.”_

_“What state? Is it because of that patient again?” The patient that died in the ER while she was volunteering._ Wendy remained silent.

 _“Don’t let one random patient’s death get to you,”_ her roommate continued. _“It’s a part of the job. Some things are just inevitable.”_ By the way her roommate had said it, it had come off as heartless—soulless, even.

_She doesn’t know what it’s like. She wasn’t there when it happened._

Unfortunately, the statement her roommate made was not a lie. People do die in hospitals. It’s an irrefutable fact. These things happen every single day. Doctors and nurses were never life-saving gods. The best they could do is prolong an ending one with an ounce of luck and whatever they learned in med school.

_“But isn’t that why you wanted to be a doctor in the first place? To save lives?”_

_…_

Not wanting to go into that story with Soo-Young and Seulgi right now, Wendy just shrugged and light-heartedly answered, “I’m on vacation. That’s it, really.”

“Oh, come on. Elaborate. Details. We got time.” Soo-Young was too eager to hear all of it.

“But you haven’t even told me why you’re both here! Why don’t we start with that? I want to hear your stories too.”

It has been so long. Seeing them again made Wendy want to burst. They were friends that she has missed for the longest time. Ever since they all left Gyeongsan one by one, there was not a single day that teenage Seungwan did not miss them. Even all through her college years, she still thought about them and kept a small photograph of the three of them in her wallet. Now that they were truly here right before her just like the good old days, it was like a dream come true. Starting off with a heavy story about her reasons for suddenly coming back did not fit the mood. Those kinds of talks should be saved for when they get wasted on alcohol at night or something—when they can be vulnerable and have deep heart-to-heart talks without restrictions. For now, she simply wanted to enjoy their presence. No cry fests  and no blasts from the dark past. Today was a good day and she wanted to smile a bit with them before they delve back into the ugly parts…

“Soo-Young, give her rest,” Seulgi interrupted at just the right time. “It must have been a long flight.”

Soo-Young ignored Seulgi and continued pressing Wendy to speak. “I suspect you’re also here for the time capsule?”

“Time capsule?” A sudden spark lit up upon hearing the words.

"You know, the one we all buried ages ago?"

Just the thought of it made her heart pound in excitement and familiarity. Unfortunately, that was just what it was—familiar. Thinking back, maybe they did bury something like that back then. Unfortunately, whether the specific memory still exists or not, Wendy was unsure. Maybe she had forgotten a lot more than she thought. “What time capsule?”

Seulgi stopped fumbling with her phone and glanced at Soo-Young.

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t remember that either!” Soo-Young raised her voice a little.

Due to the disappointment in Soo-Young’s voice, Wendy felt bad and hoped she could at least remember, but it was difficult to say anything substantial. “Sorry. Remind me again?”

“If you’re the only one who remembers then maybe it doesn’t even exist,” Seulgi light-heartedly poked at Soo-Young with a tinge of pessimism.

“Hey, just because you both don’t remember, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” Soo-Young argued. “We all swore to find it. I’m not making this up!”

Wendy had no idea what they were talking about, but it made her so curious.  _Why is it that I don’t remember anything about this time capsule?_

As they zoomed through the main road, Soo-Young partly rolled down their windows, letting bursts of cold wind onto the car. Seulgi closed her eyes and squealed while Wendy tossed and brushed her hair. Then Soo-Young turned up the radio and began to blast an upbeat pop song.

[데리러 가 - SHINee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dGwk5-QMpc)

 

...혼자선 그리울 밤 밤 밤

견디기 싫어 지금 너를 너를 데리러 가~

 

“Man, this is the life!” Soo-Young shouted as she drove through long road lined with yellowing gingko trees. Nothing could beat the free and liberating road-trip atmosphere she created for herself. “Anyway, Seungwan Unnie, are you hungry? What do you think of getting lunch before heading to the lodge?”

Just then, Wendy realised that they had passed by a huge stone with etched markings saying, “Welcome to Yeonsan.” They were already in town.

“Is this really  _this_  road? The empty road into town?” Wendy asked as she peeked out the window. “I’ve never seen those buildings before!”

“Yeah,” Seulgi answered. “Don’t be shocked yet. There are more _shocking things_ in store.”

“What do you want to eat?” Soo-Young kept asking her things before she even had any room to take all this scenery in.

“I’m not sure…,” Wendy absent-mindedly replied as she kept her eyes on the passing view outside the car window. The scene from her memory did not match what she was seeing at the moment. It was slightly disorienting. After taking some turns, Wendy was completely lost. She had no idea where she was. 

“Maybe we can head downtown and look for places to eat there,” Seulgi suggested. “Or maybe we can go to the restaurants near the lake…”

As Soo-Young drove through the streets of downtown Yeonsan while Seulgi was randomly suggesting places, something suddenly caught Seulgi's and Wendy’s attention. There outside her window was a small Korean-Chinese restaurant with a familiar red overhead sign.

_Xiah Dragon Noodles._

“WAIT!” Seulgi exclaimed with an obnoxiously loud voice all so suddenly.

The startled driver abruptly pressed on her brakes at a red light, throwing everyone off their seat. “Oh god! DO NOT scream like that while I’m driving!” (Soo-Young said that even though she had been motor-mouthing the entire ride.)

While Soo-Young was waiting for the lights to turn green, Seulgi and Wendy stared at their respective windows. There on the sidewalk was this girl with long dark hair who had just walked out of the Korean-Chinese restaurant. From a distance, her petite figure seemed fairly generic, but when they watched closer, her porcelain-white face, streamlined pink lips, and the loose sweater looked hauntingly familiar. The girl ran away as soon as she had come out of the restaurant doors.

"Did you see that?!" Seulgi began freaking out. (And by "shocking things" she definitely meant this one...)

By the time Soo-Young looked to the right window, the girl had already left the picture. The only noticeable thing left was the familiar restaurant with the red signboard.

“Oh hey, it’s Xiah Dragon Noodles.” Soo-Young blithely smiled. “We used to eat there from time to time back then. I can’t believe their business is still alive and running. You guys up for Chinese food like the good old days?”

“…Sure,” Seulgi quieted down, not wanting to sound insane again. They already went over this last night. It was most likely just another hallucination. But this time, Wendy saw her too.

"That girl looked a lot like Joohyun Unnie...," Wendy said, quite unsure about what she saw.

"You saw her too?!" Seulgi twisted to look at the backseat and began to freak out once again. "See! I'm not crazy! I told you I saw her! I saw Joohyun Unnie with my own eyes!"

When the lights switched to green, Soo-young lightly stepped on the gas pedal. "Okay, okay, calm down! Geez!"

"She just looks like her from afar, Seulgi," Wendy said, also trying to calm her down. "That girl can't be her."

In a low, slightly frustrated voice, Soo-Young then concluded, "Why don't we all calm the fuck down and have some brunch first? Besides, Seulgi Unnie, we already talked about this. Everyone has some sort of doppelganger, and that girl could be Joohyun Unnie's so there is absolutely NO POINT in stressing over it!"

"Yeah, let's all just eat. I'm hungry," Wendy agreed.

"I... I guess..." Seulgi calmed down. "I think we're all just really hungry right now."

“Glad to see that we all agree!” Soo-Young exclaimed. “It’s my treat this time, so don’t worry about paying or whatever. Let’s eat lots!”

***

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

“Man, I hate fractions,” Seulgi complained as she sat with Seungwan at the cafeteria while waiting for Soo-Young during lunch later that same day. “And then you turn them into decimals and then you round them off, and argh!!! Why?! Just why?! _Do they come up all of this stuff just to confuse people?!_ ”

“They have uses other than to confuse people, Seulgi,” Seungwan tried to explain. “We can go over it later and I’ll try to teach you so you wouldn’t have to be confused.”

“I sure am glad to have a genius for a friend!” Seulgi chuckled as she began to stuff herself with a mouthful of rice.

Then, an extra tray suddenly dropped on their table, startling the other two. “Ugh.” It was Soo-young with the usual scowl she wore in school.

“What’s up?” Seungwan asked.

“Someone stole my yoghurt _again_. Gosh, I hate people.”

Seungwan tore open her own milk carton and slid the straw inside. Then she pushed the carton to Soo-Young’s side of the table. “Here, have my milk.”

Despite the missing bicycle case being solved, grade school hell did not end there. Mean kids were still everywhere, and from time to time she still “defended herself” by counterattacking and getting in trouble for it. At least now, she had two 5th-grade unnies backing her up or waiting for her until her detention time ends. Seulgi and Seungwan were her “good conscience.” They always try to convince Soo-Young to avoid causing even bigger trouble.

And although Soo-Young was used to never having friends back then, she was beginning to enjoy the newfound attention she was getting from these two older girls. In fact, she craved their attention and turned moody without them around. Specifically, she did not want them to hang out—just the two of them—without her. She could never lie to herself; she truly was jealous that Seulgi had become friends with someone she so perfectly matched with—someone like the oh-so-cute-and-nice-and-smart-and-perfect Son Seungwan. Soo-Young wanted to be mean to her. She wanted to scare her off so she can keep Seulgi to herself. Unfortunately, Son Seungwan was **_too nice_**. She always gave her food; she always asked if she was okay; she always seemed concerned, etcetera, etcetera... It was borderline obnoxious. How can anyone be mean to someone like that?!

Since Soo-Young could not separate an already budding friendship between the two—you know what they say, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” So instead of trying to steal Seulgi away from Seungwan, she ended up befriending Seungwan as well. Over the course of a month, they had grown to be close friends. In a way, Seungwan had also become an indispensable friend to Soo-Young too. But of course, she was still too stubborn to actually admit that.

"Nah, keep your milk. I don't want your charity." That was a lie. She did want milk, and Seungwan easily saw through her. 

"Just take it, Soo-Young." Seungwan really did not mind. The more she stuck around these two girls, the more she was beginning to see that she was the only one responsible around here. She liked taking care of them, so it did not matter whether or not she drunk her milk today. As long as Soo-Young was not all cranky and upset, she would have her heart full. That was just how she was.

"Alright." Soo-young took the milk carton and sipped on the straw. "Thanks."

***

 

“Whoa, boy! Slow down!” Young Seulgi pulled at the leash with all her strength, but it was no use. Wherever the Jindo dog wanted to go, the Jindo dog just went. This particular canine was too excited to be out and about in the fine streets of downtown Yeonsan. The pair ran off with the cool autumn wind, kicking off a few dead leaves along the way.

“It looks like you’re the one being walked,” 12-year-old Seungwan laughed as she leisurely walked with a particularly docile toy poodle.

 “This is why you need to eat healthily and exercise, Seulgi Unnie! You’re such a wimpy little shrimp!” Soo-Young bantered.

“No, I’m not!” Seulgi yelled back as she tried to catch up with her powerful canine friend’s leaps. Everyone just chuckled at the adorable sight.

As the weather cooled down at the beginning of the month, the three girls, Seulgi, Seungwan, and Soo-Young had often gone out on strolls and little adventures together. Today, their mission was to take the dogs from the shelter out on a walk. Seulgi hoped to at least stop by and admire the aesthetically appealing colours of the changing foliage, but her canine partner was not much for compromising. Seungwan and Soo-Young just continued laughing at her from a distance.

 

“Thanks a lot for walking them today,” said Choi Soo-Young from the dog shelter after they had finished their excursion with the dogs on that fine October afternoon. “I wish I could give you guys a little something… oh, wait!” She rummaged through her piles of messy paperwork and managed to unearth three strips of… 

“Restaurant coupons?” Grade school kids never did fully appreciate this kind of seemingly-boring stuff, but the lady gave it to them anyway.

“Yeah, you can hand those over to the recently opened Chinese restaurant down the block and they’ll give you discounts! Also, if you say to the owner there that you know me, she might give you—and me—an even bigger discount, maybe. She’s my friend.” She winked at them with a self-assured smirk. As much as discount coupons never piqued children’s interests, adults on the other hand… “Trust me when I say this—saving money while eating good food is very, very, very important. You’ll thank me for teaching you this when you’re older.”

Thanks to the wise counsel of the kindest dog shelter manager in town, the three friends ended up going to the new Korean-Chinese restaurant down the block. It was a little difficult to miss. The new red sign was obnoxiously shiny, and right by the entrance of the restaurant were a couple of flower stands with ribbons that say “Congratulations on the Grand Opening!” on them.

Sweet-sounding chimes jingled the moment the glass door was opened. The three girls stepped into the dimly-lit restaurant and went to take a seat at one of the 4-seater tables with the cushiony seats.

“I like the lamps and the dragons look so cool,” Seulgi noted. Ever since she was a child, she had a taste for unconventional décor, and the beige paper lamps hanging on the ceiling definitely gave off a uniquely East Asian aesthetic that appealed to her. On the maroon wallpaper were prints of golden dragons, masterfully painted by a traditional Korean artist. Seulgi marvelled at the sight of it.

“So, what are you guys ordering?” Soo-Young asked while looking at the menu. “Since we have coupons anyway, I figured we could get whatever we want. It’s my treat. Think of it as a thank you for that thing you did for me on my birthday last month.”

"You're paying? Cool! You're such a great friend Soo-Young!" Nothing could be more flattering that Seulgi's truthful words. "Let's get a lot of food! All the good ones!"

"Hey, not too much!"

While the Soo-Young and Seulgi were looking over the menu, Seungwan’s gaze was completely elsewhere. Then she tugged at Seulgi’s sleeve and whispered, “Hey, Seul, isn’t that…?”

“Huh?” Seulgi looked to Seungwan, who was pointing to someone else standing by the counter. It was a very familiar figure with long black hair and purple sweater. Even from the hind side view, she knew exactly who it was.

_Joohyun Unnie?_

Joohyun was not alone though. She was talking to a teenage boy of about her age—a boy wearing a red apron. He seemed to be working here, (even though he was so young) and Joohyun seemed to be explaining something to him like she was earnestly asking—or begging—him for something. After a while, the boy nodded, mouthing out an “okay” and went through the door that was for “authorized personnel only.”

Once the teenage boy had gone, Seulgi called out to her and waved a hand to make sure Joohyun would notice. “Joohyun Unnie!”

Unlike the time when they coincidentally saw her at the junkyard, Joohyun greeted back with a gentle smile. “Hello, Seulgi.”

It felt like ages had passed since they last met. Despite being neighbours, they rarely ever see each other. She then approached Seulgi and the other girls to greet them properly. Seungwan shyly smiled and slightly nodded her head for a respectful bow while Soo-Young just stared at her feeling completely uneasy.

Joohyun’s gaze drifted from Seulgi to Seungwan and then to Soo-Young. Oddly, her wide-eyed gaze lingered on Soo-Young a little longer than on everyone else. Before the raven-like unnie spoke again, she looked back to Seulgi and asked, “You guys are eating together?”

“Yeah. Soo-Young is treating us! We even got coupons!” Seulgi said so blithely.

“That’s good,” Joohyun said with a sweet smile. She also subtly glanced at Soo-Young again for a split second before focusing on Seulgi again. Soo-Young caught onto that.  _Why does this creepy unnie keep glancing at me like that?_

“So, if you’re not eating, why are you here?” Seulgi asked. “Who was that guy?”

“Oh, I was asking Kibum if maybe I could get a job here…” Then Joohyun drifted off and turned to see if the teenage boy had come out of the back door yet. “His family owns this restaurant.”

“A job?”

“I needed extra money lately.”

Suddenly, the “authorized personnel only” door swung open and the teenage boy came walking toward Joohyun. “Hyun-ah, Taeyeon Noona said you can come in.”

Before leaving, Joohyun waved Seulgi and the other two goodbye. Soon she too disappeared into the back room. 

“She’s pretty, but there’s something weird about her,” Soo-Young muttered.

Seungwan looked to Seulgi and gave her a knowing stare. Joohyun said she  _needed extra money._ Strange thing to say for someone who had willingly given up her own money just to buy back someone else’s stolen bike last month...

***

 

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

“Wow, other than the new furniture and arrangement, this restaurant is still very much the same…,” 24-year-old Soo-Young mumbled upon entering the restaurant.

“Even the menu hasn’t changed,” Wendy said, as they sat in one of the tables with the cushiony seats. “But I guess they don’t give discounts anymore.”

“And the part-timer looks younger than us now. Gosh, we’re getting older…,” Soo-Young sighed.

“I’m having black-bean noodles,” Seulgi said without even looking at the menu. “What about you guys?”

“Same.”

“Three plates of black-bean noodles please!” Soo-Young shouted with her hand up. The part-time worker acknowledged her order with a nod and informed the chefs.

“So, what’s your story, Wendy Son?” Soo-Young asked for the umpteenth time. “Why are you here?”

Before answering, Wendy pursed her lips and puffed up her cheeks. Then she looked at her two old friends with her big pearly eyes and said in a rather quick, dismissive manner, “I told you, I’m on vacation. And if you both don’t mind, can’t you two please explain to me why you’re both here too? Isn’t that a more interesting topic? How have you two been?”

Soo-Young opened her mouth—about to unleash a particularly long and detailed anecdote—but before she could start talking, Seulgi just mumbled, “We might not actually be here, and I might just be having a really long, really strange dream so…”

“Aha, actually, what really happened was…”

As Soo-Young explained to Wendy about Seulgi’s parent’s vacation house, a very furious woman suddenly burst out of the “authorized personnel only” door. She wasn’t very tall and she looked quite young, but her voice was loud and she did not sound very young at all. “GODDAMMIT!”

Easily startled Soo-Young almost jumped from her seat due to the sudden outburst while Seulgi and Wendy turned their heads see what was going on.

“Hey, have you seen Yerim?!” The woman furiously asked the young part-timer.

“S-s-she just left earlier…” The part-timer hesitantly replied.

After taking a good look at the woman, Soo-Young asked her two friends, “Isn’t that Taeyeon Unnie?”

“It is…” Seulgi nodded watching as the woman angrily dial a number in her smartphone.  _Kim Taeyeon, owner of this Chinese restaurant and Bae Joohyun’s older cousin._ Seulgi was starting to remember things. Joohyun also worked here back then.

“It’s like she hasn’t aged at all,” Wendy mumbled, also remembering the same thing.

The owner of the restaurant waited for a while, but it seemed that the call did not fall through. “Aish… KIM YERIM THAT BRAT! I swear when I find that kid, I am going to skin her alive!” Before long, the shop owner marched out the front door and was out of sight.

“What was that about?” Soo-Young wondered.

“Who knows? People have messed up lives nowadays,” Seulgi nonchalantly said, again with that hint of pessimism despite having such a bubbly baby face.

Wendy thought for a second.  _Kim Yerim…?_   _W_ _ait…_

***

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2018_ **

Seungwan yawned as she stepped out of their house gate one morning, just like every other school day morning. It was slightly chilly, but she paid no mind and comfortably snuck her hands in her denim jacket for extra warmth.  _Another morning…_ she thought as she looked up to see the sun rays seeping through the clouds.  _They’re late again._

Her parents always strived to be punctual, and so, she too had been raised that way. They always abode by rules; everything had to be in the order they have arranged for their life—including their morning schedule. That’s just how they do things. However, nothing can be truly perfect. On certain days, something would stall their uptight schedule. That’s just how people are. Human beings can never be perfect, no matter how they strive to be so.

As Seungwan waited outside, she heard the familiar clunking of one of the neighbours’ gates.  _Déjà vu_ _._ Across the street from that house beside Seulgi’s, a familiar tyke hopped out of the gate just like that one day in September. Just like last time, the little girl was still wearing a face mask, only leaving enough to show her eyes.

“Hello, Unnie!” the little kid greeted with a muffled little squeaky voice. They had only met once but she greeted the 5th-grader as if they had known each other for so long.

“Hi, Yeri!” Seungwan greeted back, remembering the girl’s name. “I haven’t seen you in a while!”

Yeri just chuckled and skipped toward the displayed flowerpots in front of Seulgi’s grandparents’ house. She gasped upon taking notice of the purple cosmos flowers and exclaimed. “So pretty!” Not caring that these flowers were the neighbour’s property, the girl plucked one without hesitation and waved it around like the carefree little child that she was.

“How old are you?” Seungwan asked, trying to be friendly. She tried to approach the girl and take a good look at her eyes because the rest of her face was covered.

Yeri stopped twirling and dancing with the flower and looked up to meet Seungwan’s gaze. “I’m seven.”

“Do you go to school already?”

“No. My sister teaches me everything I need to know!”

“Really?” So apparently Yeri wasn’t attending school at the moment. Maybe she was still a little too young for grade school and preschool wasn’t so important back then…

“Unnie, what’s your name again?” The kid asked all of a sudden.

“My name is Son Seungwan. I’m your neighbour. I live over there.” Seungwan turned around and pointed to her house a few lots down the block to show Yeri. “If you want, you can come play with me some time. I’ve always wanted a little sister.”

“Okay!” Yeri continued twirling the cosmos flower and jumped and skipped around the empty street. “I’m Bae Yeri. Yeri Yeri Yeri…”

“Yes, I know,” Seungwan chuckled. Yeri seemed so silly. _It must be fun to have a sister like her,_ Seungwan thought.

"Why are you always wearing a mask?"

Yeri suddenly stopped playing and scrutinized Seungwan, who was also staring intently at her. After a while of their staring game, she continued hopping and skipping again and said, "I'm a ninja! Ha!"

Seungwan laughed at the kid's silliness. "You're so cute!"

Soon, Yeri’s teenage sister came out of the gate too. She looked quite frantic and excessively worried over nothing. “Yeri, I told you to wait for me!”

“Good morning, Joohyun Unnie,” Seungwan greeted.

“Oh…” Joohyun’s tone fell flat and her face turned a few shades paler. “H-hi… Seungwan.” She did not seem very happy to see her. Again,  _déjà vu._ At this point, Seungwan was not even going to act surprised that Joohyun never acted friendly toward her. Maybe Joohyun was just not the warm and friendly type. Maybe she was just naturally cold toward strangers. Maybe she was shy. Whatever it was, Seungwan did not want to feel intimidated anymore. She knew somewhere in there that Joohyun had a nice, sweet side. After all, it was this same person who selflessly paid for Soo-Young’s bike last month.

“Are you headed off to school?” Seungwan noticed Joohyun’s middle school uniform and tried to make conversation, attempting to make this tough ice crack.

“Yes. And before that, I have to drop her off somewhere first. We need to go. Yeri, let’s go.” Joohyun tugged at Yeri’s arm, making the little kid trudge along.

“You’re buying me cookies, right?” Yeri asked Joohyun.

“You can’t have too many sweets. It’s not good for you.”

“But I haven’t had one in yeeeaaaaaaaaarrss.”

Joohyun groaned and rolled her eyes. “You just had some the other day. Now let’s go.”

As she was being dragged by her big sister, Yeri waved at Seungwan and dejectedly uttered, “Bye bye Seungwannie...” (Yeri fused “Seungwan and Unnie” but it ended up sounding like she just addressed Seungwan very informally.)

“It’s Seungwan  _Unnie._ She’s older than you _,”_ Joohyun corrected her.

“But that’s what I said!” the seven-year-old bickered.

As Seungwan watched Joohyun and Yeri walk past, her parents had finally finished readying whatever they had to prepare and had gone out of the gate. “Seungwan, let’s go! Hop in the car.” Her father held the car door open for her. Looking back at Joohyun and Yeri, Seungwan knew that she could not just let them go like that. “Dad, wait, can I ask my friends to come ride with us too?”

“Sure, but make it quick. We really need to be going.”

After getting her father’s approval, Seungwan jogged to catch up to the two sisters and grabbed hold of Joohyun’s free arm.

“Seungwan?” Joohyun was confused.

“My parents have a car. Want to ride with us? It would be faster that way.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. Besides, we’re not really going to the grade scho—”

“Yes! I want to ride!” Little Yeri interjected.

Joohyun looked down on her sister and scrunched her brows. “Yeri…”

“Walking makes me tired. Unnie, please, please, please, please, please, please…”

Due to Yeri’s incessant begging, Joohyun eventually gave in to her baby sister’s wishes. The two of them ended up riding with Seungwan’s family in their blue sedan until they reach the nearest bus stop.

“So, what are your names?” Seungwan’s mother asked as they were driving down the road to the golden rice fields.

“I’m Bae Joohyun, and this is…”

“I’m Bae Yeri!” Then the little girl looked out the window and exclaimed, “Duck!” During the autumn, native ducks fly from the dried-up rice fields to the nearby lake. They were quite a common sight. Seungwan’s parents just giggled in amusement at Yeri’s little noises.

Joohyun on the other hand…

As Seungwan sat there with the sisters on the backseat, she began to wonder if this was such a bad idea, because Joohyun seemed  _extremely_  uncomfortable. The teenager had grown so quiet and had kept fumbling with her fingers. She also won’t take her eyes off of her little sister, who was obviously oblivious of Joohyun’s inner turmoil.

“And how old are you both?” Seungwan’s mom continued asking. She was just like Seungwan; she was just trying to be friendly.

“I’m 15 and Yeri is just 7,” Joohyun answered.

“Oh, okay. What about your parents? What do they do for a living?” It was one of those things that parents ask their children’s friends all the time. They don’t really have any other way to relate to young children so they ask about the parents. Again, this was just so they can have friendly small talk.

However, upon hearing that question, even bubbly little Yeri had suddenly grown quiet. She stopped looking at the window and looked straight at her older sister, as if also waiting for the answer.

“I, ah, erm…” Joohyun nervously stuttered, not knowing what to say. “Well, they’re… they’re always busy. I’m not really sure what kind of job they do, but they’re always busy.”

It was a vague answer, but Seungwan’s parents just assumed what any other busy parent would assume. “They must work hard, don’t they?” Again, meaningless small talk.

Joohyun just gave off an awkward chuckle and then her expression seamlessly transitioned from fake happy to genuine discomfort as she bit her lip. Yeri continued staring at her while Joohyun began to nervously comb the little one's hair with her fingers—fixing hair that need not be fixed.

When they got off their stop, Joohyun politely thanked them and commanded Yeri to do the same. And so, they bid Seungwan and her parents goodbye.

***

  
“Guys, earlier today I—”

Soo-Young rolled her eyes. “Lemme guess. You got  _another_  star stamp on your essay? Or is it a smiley this time? A++++ isn’t as impressive anymore if you get it all the time.” Whenever anything happens Seungwan just liked telling her friends about it, even though it might not be interesting to them. Seulgi did not mind listening to her talk, but Soo-Young especially liked poking fun of literally anything that came out of her mouth.

“Well, I did get a perfect 10 on my pop quiz earlier…,” Seungwan mumbled. But then she raised her voice a little and said, “No, I wasn’t going to talk about that.”

“What happened?”

“I saw Joohyun Unnie and her sister earlier this morning. They rode with us in our car and we dropped them off at a bus stop.”

“Huh. Interesting,” Soo-Young said so flatly it seemed as though was being sarcastic (but she wasn’t).

“How come you see Joohyun Unnie’s sister all the time?” Seulgi whined. “I’ve never met her. I want to meet her too. Joohyun Unnie says she’s very cute. Also, I wonder if Joohyun Unnie ever got that job at the restaurant...”

“I've only seen her twice, but yeah, Yeri’s very cute and very tiny. They have the same eyes. She probably looks like a small version of Joohyun Unnie, only a little more talkative and playful. Joohyun Unnie is so overprotective of her though. I wonder why...”

“You know, I’ve lived here forever, but I’ve never seen her sister or her parents. I didn’t even know she had a sister,” said Soo-Young. The other two looked at her as if she had just said the strangest thing ever.

“Really?” Seungwan could not believe that. “Then maybe you don't know this town as well as you think you do.”

“That’s the thing. I know almost everyone in that specific neighbourhood, but I’ve only ever seen Joohyun Unnie come out of that house, and she's also quite a mystery because not a lot of people know her well either. It also doesn’t help that there is a creepy rumour that a weird crazy man lives there in the house she lives in. I haven’t seen any crazy person either. For all we know, _she_  could be the crazy person. I mean, she  _is_  pretty creepy, so be careful who you decide to associate yourself with."

Seungwan and Seulgi looked at each other, knowing very well what kindness Joohyun especially did for Soo-Young. That crazy rumour made no sense.

"Hey, everyone thinks of you as this scary bully but that never stopped us," Seulgi said, being all positive as usual. "Just because people say it so, you'll never really know until you find out for yourself, right?"

"The fact that you're both still talking to _me_ of all people is kinda dumb, but I ain't stopping either of you...,” Soo-Young said nonchalantly. Deep down she appreciated Seulgi and Seungwan's stubbornness to stay with her.

“Well, I don’t know about some weird crazy person or whatever," Seungwan continued, "but Joohyun Unnie’s sister is, in fact, real.”

***

 

**_Thirteen Years Later: October 2018_ **

_Bae Yeri… Kim Yerim… Was that her...?_

_***_

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . 

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . 

[Stay - Taeyeon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9_XH1YibcY)

近頃夢さえもみない  
あなたがいないことが  
日常になってくなんて  
信じられない

…

The silence was broken. Nature rattled and rustled up with the passing wind, setting off loose leaves to wreck havoc in the forest as if violated by the unwelcome yet very familiar guest. _Yes, this girl._ The same girl who had been tresspassing through off-limit boundaries, and for what?

A smartphone buzzed and lit up, playing a Japanese pop song all the way through the first verse.

_"Again?!"_

On the screen was a picture of the same woman in the restaurant earlier, and she was making a goofy face with another younger girl in the picture. They had some similarities—not too much that they looked like twins, but enough for their family relation to be evident. Below that photo was a name— “Taengoo Unnie.” And below that were two buttons: “Answer” or “Decline.” A thumb with black nail polish hovered over the screen.

“Ugh,” the owner of the phone groaned as she stared at the picture of her and the restaurant owner on the phone. There in the midst of a tree-shrouded forest, she contemplated for a second. 

_Get off my case._

The thumb landed on “Decline.” The phone was then tucked away into the back pocket of her jeans.

There under the dark canopy of tall trees, the girl with the long dark hair continued walking, deliberately ignoring the incessant ringing of her phone.  _You can keep calling. I like this song,_ she thought to herself. The modern girl and her modern device—what in the world were they doing here distrupting the silence of nature again? Her ringtone went on, masking the sounds of twigs and grass cracking and hissing beneath her sneakers. She headed deeper into the forest without even looking back or checking which way she should go. She just kept marching through the lonely woods, sending a few squirrels and chipmunks scurrying up to their hiding places.

But no, she was not there on an aimless whim. A few more steps down the invisible path that nobody else knew, a lone log cabin stood in a small clearing. It was small and rather run down—more like an old wooden shack than an actual living space. There she stood in front of the door and pulled out a set of old keys. For the first time, she looked around and behind her back. No one could have followed her there in the middle of nowhere. She smirked—her eyes slightly curving up and her nose wrinkling adorably beneath the shadows of the thick forest foliage. With one old, slightly worn out key, she unlocked the entrance to the cabin.

She stepped in. She peeked out again. Nobody saw. Nobody knew. It was just her, the forest, and that little house.

With a slight creak, she closed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 데리러 가 (Good Evening) - SHINee (excerpt translation)  
> "I'll miss you on a lonely night  
> I don't want to endure it, so I'll take you with me right now."
> 
>    
> Stay - Taeyeon (excerpt translation)  
> "I haven't been able to dream nowadays  
> You not being here has become my everyday life  
> I can't believe it."


	9. A Horror Story

**CHAPTER 8**

**A Horror Story**

 

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

“Ha!” the 12-year-old gamer girl threw her hands up in the air as a celebration of her victory. “You lose again, Seungwan! That’s 24 to a whopping zero! You are so bad at this!”

Seungwan placed the PS2 controller down on the floorboards and whined. The two had been at it with this fighting game for hours now. Since the other girl (Soo-Young) was too busy playing her own Pokémon game by herself, Seungwan had no choice but to succumb to the bear’s wishes of being a virtual punching bag of sorts. Seungwan’s grades may be the best of the best, but her hand-eye coordination and button-mashing skills were the worst of the worst. To relieve herself from this embarrassment, she asked on a slightly unrelated note, “You both know that the midterms are coming up, right?”

“And so is Halloween,” Soo-Young said, definitely going against Seungwan’s drift. “You know, that holiday in other countries when they dress up in scary costumes.”

“A holiday like that exists? Cool…,” Seulgi remarked, obviously hearing about it for the first time in her very short life. She placed her game controller on the floor as well. Then she got up to grab a pack of potato chips. With an excited look on her face, she tore open the foil and dug into the bag with her free hand. (Since her parents and grandparents only fed her healthy food to keep her strong and healthy, she often had her regular dose of junk at Soo-Young’s house.) Remembering that her friends still existed, Seulgi nudged Seungwan and held out the bag of chips to her.

Seungwan groaned as she took a chip from Seulgi. As much as she liked her two friends, they were not the brightest kids in the block. “I don’t know which one is scarier, Halloween, or the fact that neither of you care about your grades one bit.”

“I’m not stupid; I can ace my exams without studying,” Soo-Young aloofly said without even batting an eyelash. Then she snapped her finger like an entitled madam and motioned for Seulgi to bring the bag of chips to her as well as if she was her butler.

Seungwan watched as Seulgi hopped onto Soo-Young’s bed to bring her chips, eventually scooching close to take a peek at Soo-Young’s Gameboy Advance. Yep, these two just don’t care. The ace student could not help but shake her head and heave a sigh of annoyance at the sight of them. “Good for you.”

“Oooh you’re at Lavender Town already,” Seulgi commented while watching Soo-Young navigate her sprite through the game’s virtual town.

“This town gives me the spooks. There’s a haunted tower here and I can’t figure out how to fight the ghosts. It says I need an item so I can battle them properly…”

Seulgi just gave a breathy chuckle. Then she began a topic that was kind of related: “Speaking of ghosts, I think it’s about time the new horror movies that came out in the summer was released into DVD. I was thinking if the video store had them, we could rent one and watch a movie together. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Soo-Young side-eyed her while playing, definitely judging happy-go-lucky Seulgi’s definition of fun. “Hell no.”

Seungwan sat with them on Soo-Young’s bed and crept closer to them. “Horror? Really? Of all the movies out there?”

“I just want to try it out. I want to know if horror movies are actually scary or not. I’ve never actually seen one before. My parents wouldn’t let me when I was younger.”

“Seriously?” Being always left alone to do whatever, Soo-Young just found it hard to believe that someone could be so sheltered.

“My big brother says they’re pretty interesting and make you sleep well later at night because the fright exhausts you and saps you of your energy and...”

Seungwan slapped a palm to her forehead. “Seul, you’ve got to be kidding.”

“Your brother is fooling you, stupid,” Soo-Young said as she lay back on her pillows.

“I still want to try it.” Seulgi was too optimistic about this. “Come on, it’ll be fun! What do you say, guys?”

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

“Just press your card key onto the scanner like this and…”  _Beep._ A small green light flashed from the card scanner. After pulling down the metal lever effortlessly, Kang Seulgi—the vacation house manager—had opened the door.

“Here, take the card. The password to the front door is on the post-it note behind the card. Make yourself at home,” Seulgi said as she ushered her old friend into the private space provided for her.

 “Wow, it’s really nice here,” Wendy remarked as she sat on the low single bed.

Just like the other three single rooms in this house, Wendy’s room was rather basic. It had all the essentials: a bed and a desk, a wardrobe built into the wall, and a small cabinet that hid a convenient mini-fridge—also built into the wall. At the very end of the room was a full-length window covered by blinds. Although the room was fairly small, it did not feel too cramped up. Seulgi had helped with creating the minimalistic interior design of each room, making sure it looked cosy and Instagram-worthy for their future renters.

“I can’t believe this used to be your grandparents’ house.”

“Actually, where you’re standing right now is no longer a part of my grandparents’ old house.”

“Oh, really?” Wendy grew quiet as Seulgi awkwardly stared back at her. “So this area is already…?”

Seulgi avoided the topic and continued talking, “There’s a huge bathroom at the end of the hall near the stairs. There are two separate shower areas so you don’t have to fight Soo-Young over it since you’re the only two guests anyway.”

“Tch, like we’ll fight over that…,” Soo-Young scoffed. She had just arrived at the second floor after bringing up Wendy’s luggage. “We’re not children anymore.”

“Anyway,” Seulgi continued, “Soo-Young’s room is right beside yours, and my room is the master bedroom at the other end of the hall. The other two rooms are empty for now. Feel free to use the kitchen and the living room downstairs whenever you like.”

“Right. Thanks for the info.” Wendy pulled in her luggage and threw her hand-carry bag on the single bed.

“And try not to make too much of a mess. Because, you know, I get to clean it up eventually, and I like to keep the aesthetics the way it is…”

Wendy chuckled, “It’s really interesting that you’re running this lodge. I never thought you’d be the hotel management type of person.”

“Yeah, I thought she’d end up being a nerdy video game tester or something,” Soo-Young bantered.

Seulgi grimaced. “A video game tester? Why would I…?”

“She was so obsessed with games back then,” Soo-Young added. “And she loved junk food so much.”

“Right…” Seulgi cringed remembering what kind of kid she used to be back then. But if truth be told, she  _still_ played video games in her spare time and indulged in unhealthy snacks even as a 25-year-old adult. The only difference now was that nobody could stop her from doing or eating whatever she wanted… except maybe her own conscience.

“Who knew Kang Seulgi wouldn’t turn out so bad after all!”

For a moment there, with Wendy’s kind face smiling at her and Soo-Young’s evil laughter in the background, it almost seemed like she was transported back in time. To a time of innocence, to a time when they were all just a bunch of kids laughing about stupid things.  _Yes, there used to be a time when the three of us gathered together like this. It’s been a while though._ And although she hated remembering the past she tried so hard to forget, this moment right here was different. It made her smile. Yet at the same time, she felt this odd melancholy… nostalgia maybe?

“Just unpack and maybe rest for a bit, Seungwan,” Seulgi said, getting back to the original topic.

 _Seul. It has been ages since Seungwan called me that._ With a shy, awkward smile, Seulgi patted Wendy’s shoulder and said, “You’re welcome. Enjoy your stay.”

***

“What are you doing? Drawing?” Soo-Young hovered over Seulgi, watching her do her magic with her high-tech drawing tools.

“I’m illustrating for a client,” Seulgi answered without taking her eyes off the screen. Now that she was done checking Wendy in their vacation house, she immediately went back to the kitchen dining table downstairs to do her freelancing jobs.

Soo-Young walked to the refrigerator and opened the door, looking for something to eat. “That’s awesome. I remember you used to scribble back then, but I don’t remember you being  _this_  good.”

While Seulgi was working on her project, Soo-Young pulled out a carton of milk and also managed to find an unfinished pack of store-bought cookies. Seulgi saw her dump her snack on the table through her peripherals.

“These cookies…,” Soo-Young drifted off.

Seulgi’s eyes darted to her.  _Those cookies._ Her lips twitched open, but Soo-Young ended up speaking first.

“You know what? I’m not even hungry. I just ate noodles earlier. What am I doing?” Soo-Young immediately picked up the stuff she had taken out and quickly shoved them back into the fridge.

Not knowing what else to say, Seulgi squirmed uncomfortably in her seat and just spit out whatever in the form of a stammer. “M-Maybe you should take a rest too. Maybe nap a bit? We did start off the day early and—”

Soo-Young sighed and just tried to brush it all off. “Yeah, you’re right. I am a bit tired from all the driving. What about you?”

“Huh? No, I need to do this,” Seulgi insisted, picking up her digital pen again.

“If you say so,” Soo-Young shrugged. “Maybe we can all set a game plan after Seungwan Unnie has rested for a bit. See you later.”

***

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

“Speaking of spooky stuff, there was this story that went wild in our class a few years back.” Soo-Young saved her game and turned off her Gameboy before continuing. She also sat up from her bed and eyed the two seriously to make sure they listen.

As expected, curiosity began racing through Seulgi’s blood. “What story?”

“If this is going to give me nightmares, I don’t want to hear it,” said Seungwan.

Disregarding Seungwan’s wishes, Soo-Young then began her story.

After taking a deep breath she started in a low, softer voice, “Maybe about two or three years ago, someone—I’m not sure I remember who, but yeah, someone—had gotten lost in the lakeside forest one day. I don’t know if either of you has been to the deeper part of the woods, but that place is huge and it is easier to get lost the deeper you go in. Everyone knew better than to wander around there.”

“What happened?” Seulgi asked, totally into the story. She had been to the woods, but she never wandered far away from the lakeside.

“So that person got lost in the woods, right? It was around sundown. Since he (or she) got lost during twilight, everything was getting darker. The tall, big trees and scary dangling vines and leaves made it even worse.”

“Don’t tell me there was some ghost in a white dress.” Seungwan rolled her eyes, pretending that she wasn’t scared of another cliché, predictable horror story.

“No, there was no ghost,” Soo-Young shook her head. “As this lost person kept wandering in the woods, calling out for help, he (or she) saw something else there.”

“What? What did he (or she) see?” Seulgi was staring at Soo-Young so intensely in anticipation.

“Deep in the woods, there was this small, old, wooden shack of some sort—like a small log cabin. It was dark, and there was no light coming from it. It seemed like it was abandoned ages ago. No, wait—!”

“What?” Seulgi’s eyes grew even bigger.

“Maybe there was light? I think there was a light… Maybe a tiny light? Oh man, why’d I forget? It’s not like me…”

“Pffft… you don’t even know the details of the story you’re telling,” Seungwan scoffed some more.

“Anyway, getting back to the story… When the person got closer to the house, the person called out, ‘Hello? Is anybody there?’ but you know what happened next?”

Seulgi shook her head and waited for the big reveal. By this time, even Seungwan was waiting for the punchline to what she thought was Soo-Young’s terrible horror joke.

“Now guys, I’m not just saying this to scare you both. This really happened,” Soo-Young said, stalling again. The other two were getting impatient.

“Just tell us already,” Seungwan groaned.

“Upon knocking on the door, he (or she) heard…  _the sound of a crying child._  You know, like those horror movies with the laughter of ghost children or something like that. But it was just one child. It sounded like this… uwah… eunggwaahh…” (She went on imitating infant cries for a while.)

“Ugh! No, that’s creepy!” Seungwan grimaced and began hugging herself.

“What happened next?” Seulgi asked, wanting to know how this all ended.

Soo-Young quit her story-telling mode and just began to speak normally, like the bossy way she always did. “Honestly, that’s it. Now that I think about it, I have no idea what happened next.”

“Well, that’s lame,” Seulgi said with a chuckle.

“The cabin actually exists though.”

“Have you been there before?” Seungwan asked.

“No,” Soo-Young answered, making the other two question the credibility of her anti-climactic story even more. “But I don’t really want to find out, do you?”

_Do you really want to find out?_

Seulgi might not have said anything back, but the thought lingered in her head. There was just something so exciting about a secret house in the woods. Maybe too much TV and video games had cultivated a sense of reckless adventure and curiosity in this baby kitten...

***

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

“You’re still working?”

Hours passed and it was already 6 p.m. Outside, the evening shadows had taken over as the light dissipated in the west. Soo-Young pulled the curtain over the glass door after looking out and walked toward Seulgi on the other side of the wide room. She had just gotten up from her long nap. Despite the slightly dishevelled long hair, she still looked like she was about to model in a saturnine photoshoot of sorts. How anyone could have such an appealing aesthetic after a nap always made Seulgi wonder.

Seulgi put down her digital pen and stretched her arms as she watched the swaying of Soo-Young’s languid figure. “Looks like you rested well.”

“I did…” She yawned as she sat on the chair near Seulgi at the dining table. “Where’s Seungwannie Unnie?”

“I don’t know. She’s probably still in her room.”

“Her jetlag must be that bad. Do you think we should wake her up for dinner?”

“Hm. Maybe we shouldn’t. She’s probably still sleeping.” Seulgi looked down on the table and fumbled with her pen. “And honestly, I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Soo-Young muttered. “But you know what?”

“What?”

Soo-Young’s big round eyes stared back into Seulgi with so much intensity it made all the hair on her arms rise. “After thinking about it, I think I know where the time capsule might be.  _Specifically_.”

“Okay…” Seulgi tried to avoid getting dragged into the blackhole of Soo-Young’s irises but Soo-Young leaned in closer and began a breathy, almost sensually arousing whisper (even though whispering was completely unnecessary because no one else was there). Then she suddenly grabbed Seulgi’s drawing arm and squeezed it tightly.

“Do you remember  _the cabin_?”

 _Cabin?_ Seulgi tensed before her.  _The cabin. The lone cabin deep in the woods. **Their childhood hideout.**_ Suddenly, it seemed as though everything was flashing back before her. They spent a few years hanging out there. They played, they talked, they dreamed… they did all sort of things in that cabin… They made it as though it was their own  _little house._ How could she forget?

“No way!” Seulgi shook her head, knowing exactly where Soo-Young was going with this. “You’ve seen the lakeside; there were a lot of developments and the remaining forest is barely accessible!”

Soo-Young let go of her hand and slightly raised her voice. “It was pretty deep in the forest! It could still be around there somewhere! Besides, weren’t you that stupid annoying kid who liked ghost hunting and going on dumb adventures back then?!”

“That was many years ago! I’m 25 already, for goodness sakes! Do I look like I’m still that kid to you?!”

“Yeah, you still do! You have the same eyes, nose, lips, even those big ears that stick out of your hair!”

Seulgi did not know how to respond to that.

Then Soo-Young calmed down a bit and continued, “Besides, it’s not really the cabin that we need to find. We didn’t keep it there. We buried it in the ground somewhere, and that’s the tricky part _.”_

“If it’s not the cabin then where? Even if we find the cabin untouched, are we supposed to go around digging holes all over the place until we find it?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. After seeing the cookies earlier, I remembered something very important.”

“What?”

“The cookie jar.”

***

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

The cool breeze, the fallen leaves, and the solemn rural atmosphere—three things that cannot be framed by a windowsill. Out there was a majestic world of yellow, orange, red, and golden wonder brought about by the changing season. Every year, the small country town’s foliage would change from a lively green to a vibrant variegated palette of warm colours. And mid-October to early November was their peak season. Too bad they were stuck indoors, studying for a set of black-and-white exams that were devoid of any beauty whatsoever.

“The weather is too perfect to be wasted reviewing Joseon history,” 12-year-old Seulgi groaned. They were in Soo-Young’s house again; this time Seulgi and Seungwan were studying while Soo-Young played with her Gameboy as usual.

“You have to review if you don’t want to fail. Exams are a week from now,” Seungwan reminded her.

“But it’s the weekend!” Seulgi complained once more.

“That’s why your parents didn’t pick you up so you wouldn’t go around playing in Seoul, so you could study for your exams! Tell me, what date did Yi Sun-Shin battle the Japanese navy at Myeongnyang Strait?”

 “Tch, everyone knows that,” Soo-Young scoffed while repeatedly pressing buttons on her hand-held console.

“Soo-Young, shush! This question is for Seulgi.”

“Um…”

“I’ll give you a hint. The anniversary is coming soon.”

“Uh… October…?”

While the two 5th graders were yapping about the correct date for some age-old historical event, Soo-Young shut off her game and stood up to stretch her body for a bit. Walking around the room, she eventually stopped to take a peek through the open window.

As expected, the mild autumn sun shone down kindly on the quaint little street. And across the street, the flowering cosmos in front of Seulgi’s house waved their stalks— _taunting her_. Even those mute, immobile, brainless, good-for-nothing plants were out enjoying the autumn weather in all its glory, while what was she doing? The weather was too pretty—too pleasant to be hanging out with two losers having a question and answer time on hundred-year-old dates and places.  _Why in the world am I even staying here with them? Oh right, this is my house…_

While Soo-Young was musing things in her head, the gate of the drab, lifeless house beside the flowerpot house slowly creaked open. Her drifting soul was suddenly sucked back into her body.  _Joohyun_  came out of the gate. Soo-Young knew this well. She has never seen anyone else come out of that house except her anyway. Joohyun walked to the right side of the street and was then out of sight.

Minutes later, Joohyun came back into view. This time, however, she was carrying a box of what seemed to be store-bought cookies from down that end of the street. Soo-Young continued watching her as she approached, but instead of heading back into the creepy old house, Joohyun went  _straight down the street._ She walked past her house; she walked past Seulgi and Soo-Young’s house, and soon she was at the other end of their street— _to the small woody path that led to the lakeside._

 _The heck is she doing, buying cookies and taking it to the forest?_ Soo-Young wondered. After Joohyun had gone, Soo-Young sat back on her bed and tuned back into her little world with Seulgi and Seungwan.

“You know what would be fun?” Seulgi asked with her usual, adorably stupid, happy-go-lucky grin that often made Seungwan and Soo-Young cringe. “Going out to look for that cabin in Soo-Young’s story.”

Seungwan rolled her eyes. “You know what  _wouldn’t_  be fun? Repeating history class.”

“You want to go so bad? Then go. I dare you, Luigi,” Soo-Young said with a smirk that only irked Seungwan all the more. It did not help that she referred to Seulgi as the protagonist of that game she was so obsessed with.

“Don’t encourage her!” Seungwan barked like an angry guard dog.

“You’re both coming with me, right?” Seulgi smiled wider, getting all hyped up for an adventure that no one else wanted to embark on.

“No. No one is going ‘haunted-cabin-hunting’ in the woods, okay? You heard the story, Seul. It’s not safe,” Seungwan emphasized once more.

“Joohyun Unnie goes into the woods all the time, and she seems alright,” Seulgi argued.

“It doesn’t matter that Joohyun Unnie does it! Just because you see her lurking about in the woods doesn’t mean you should too!”

“Ugh, come on, Seungwan,” Seulgi groaned, still trying to make light of the situation. “You’re starting to sound like my mom.”

“Yeah, so? Just because your parents aren’t around you think you can just do  _whatever you want?”_

_Be good. Study hard. Eat healthily. Sleep well. No junk food. No video games. No horror movies. Right, like they’ll ever know…_

Soo-Young got up from her bed again and shuffled through the built-in drawers in her desk. After some time of rummaging, she pulled out a boxy, bulky black camera.

“If you do manage to go find it, you better bring this.” After fumbling around with it, Soo-Young nonchalantly handed the clunky old device to the clueless bear.

“What’s this? An old camera?” (Young Seulgi was not a professional photographer yet at that time. Her parents barely let her touch their digital camera for fear of her potential to break it into pieces. They believed they could preserve things longer by never letting the clumsy child touch expensive gadgets.)

“It’s a polaroid camera,” Soo-Young explained. “You can take pictures as proof ‘cause I’m not going with you.”

“But wouldn’t it be more fun together?” Seulgi whined.

Seungwan dragged a palm from her forehead down to her face in frustration. “No one’s going, Seulgi.”

“Fine, then I’ll go on my own.” Seulgi accepted the camera and held it close to her stomach as they sat on the floor.

“Wait,” Seungwan’s brow twitched in nervousness, “You’re not seriously going, are you?”

“I’m going,” Seulgi said firmly.

Soo-Young just cackled like an evil witch and said, “Good luck with that.”

 

Strong-willed, courageous, and ready to face the great unknown—those were three things that defined a great adventurer. These great protagonists were everywhere in literature, film, and even video games that appealed especially to young dreamers and seekers of greatness. Young Kang Seulgi was no exception to those attracted by the thrill and the dazzling glory of these dramatized conquests. Though reality may vary greatly from its dramatized counterparts, adventures and conquests—big or small—have this thrill that appealed to humans’ instinct for development and growth. Let us face it: if the reckless, adventurous men and women in history never took chances, what would our world be today?

That very night after the triad’s study session, Seulgi the young adventurer packed her rucksack with all sorts of supplies—unnecessary junk food, a bottle of water, a flashlight, extra batteries, and an old compass that she stole (or borrowed without permission) from one of her grandfather’s drawers. After eating breakfast and watering the plants the next morning, she set off on her journey out into the wilderness of Yeonsan’s woody lakeside. She figured that if she wanted to find the cabin before sundown, she set off early. Though her other friends might have thought she was insane, she still kept her “recklessness” to a reasonable level. The thought of her grandparents panicking due to her disappearance made her feel guilty. They love her too much; they would cry if they lost her and she did not want to upset them. She just has to make sure that would not happen—for her grandparents’ and parents’ sake.

With her backpack dangling behind her, she hopped down to the bottom of the stack of rocks that led into the woods. Down further, Seulgi caught a glimpse of the placid lake waters, reflecting the brown and orange hues of autumn down on the glass-like surface. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. Today was a good day. So far, so good—

“Hey you!”

“Ah!” Seulgi jumped in shock from the sudden greeting that seemed to come from out of nowhere. Upon turning around, she saw a familiar figure coming out from the shadows of the trees. “Seungwan? What are you doing here?”

Son Seungwan, the very person who did not want her to go, was out in the woods wearing a baseball cap on her head and a backpack on her back. Seemed like she was onto something here…

“I’m not going to let you and your infuriatingly annoying curiosity kill yourself out here.”

“So, you’re coming with me?” A spark so adorable—so soft yet bright—lit up in Seulgi’s eyes. This was all she wanted—to go on an adventure with her best friends.

Seungwan on the other hand had other things in mind. “Look, we don’t have to go, Seul. But if you’re going to keep insisting on it, I can’t let you go alone.” In other words, she was here as a responsible chaperone, not as a buddy to be reckless and stupid with. She was here to make sure Seulgi did not do anything too crazy.

“Assa! We’re going to have so much fun! Let’s go!”

Seungwan pursed her lips tightly, trying not to get too irked by Seulgi’s blithely unconcerned disposition. Here was Son Seungwan—the logical and responsible one—willingly getting dragged into the world of the unknown where they could get lost and fall off the face of the earth. Without wasting any more time, Seulgi took her by the hand and together they walked through the rocky, hilly woods of the Keoul lakeside.

“You brought the camera, right?” From her bag, Seungwan had taken out a pouch that she had brought along. As she slowed and fumbled with it, Seulgi went on a few paces ahead of her, but she still kept up her pace to make sure they don’t lose sight of each other.

“Yup.”

“Good. Take it out.”

“Right now?” Seulgi stopped and turned to Seungwan. Oddly, Seungwan seemed to be taking out some of the stuff from her pouch and dropping them on the ground while walking. “What are you doing?”

“If we ever want to get out of this forest, don’t you think we need to be making some sort of map? If you see any auspicious landmark of some sort, take a picture, and make notes on them so we don’t get lost.”

“What are you dropping?”

When Seungwan had caught up to her, she took out a few round objects from her pouch and held out her palm for Seulgi to see. These thumb-size glass spheres came in assorted colours—obnoxious enough to be noticed on the dusty earth.

“Marbles?”

“We can follow the marble path if we ever get lost. They also shine in the light at night, so we’ll be able to see them if we shine on them with flashlights. I’m trying to drop them in places where fallen leaves wouldn’t cover them up so we can easily see them.”

“Whoa, you’re smart, Seungwan. I would have never thought of that.”

Seungwan lightly punched Seulgi’s arm with a smirk. “This is why you need me. I’m telling you; I can’t let you die out here.”

“Oh, I also have a compass,” Seulgi said, suddenly remembering. She zipped open her bag and rummaged through it so she could hand over the compass to Seungwan. Seungwan took the compass and kept it with her for the rest of the day.

The two explorers wandered in the forest for hours. Seulgi the amateur photographer took photos of things that piqued her interest—things that may help her remember where they had been to. After climbing up a rather steep slope, she took shots of the glistening lake—though it may not have looked as beautiful on the polaroid. The farther they strayed from the lakeshore the taller and bigger the trees grew. The land was also starting to level, making it easy for Seungwan to leave her colourful marbles in places where they would not roll off.

After they had gone quite a ways into the forest, the two of them decided to sit down and rest for snacks. Conveniently, they had spotted a huge rock that jutted out from the flat ground. Seulgi peeped through the finder of the polaroid camera and took a snap. Moments later, a photograph was printed out of the camera. The two girls then took their seats on the lower curved edge of the rock. Responsible Seungwan prepared their snacks while Seulgi the photographer flapped the printed photograph to make the image appear on the polaroid. While waving the polaroid photograph back and forth, Seulgi noticed something odd on the very ground below her.

“Uh, Seungwan, there seems to be a lot of these dots moving on the ground.”

“What dots?” Seungwan paused whatever she was doing to take a look for herself. She knew better than to trust Seulgi’s bad eyesight.

Seulgi pointed down on the ground. “Here, there are lots of these… are these insects?”

When Seungwan saw what Seulgi was referring to, she gasped. “Seulgi, these are ants! But you’re right there’s so many of them!” Knowing better than to eat here, Seungwan quickly took their lunchbox and snacks and packed them back into their bags.

"I heard that if you suck on ants' butts they taste sweet." By the way Seulgi had said it, it seemed like she truly believed it.

Seungwan glared at Seulgi as if she had just said the stupidest thing on earth. "Ugh, don't tell me your brother told you that too."

Seulgi looked closer down the ground and observed the movement of the critters on the forest floor. “It looks like they’re following some sort of path…,” she mumbled while Seungwan was packing. She slowly walked to follow the moving “dots,” inching at the sides of the rock until she eventually came to a stop on the other side. “Seungwan, look!”

“What?” Seungwan had just finished packing up and had carried both her and Seulgi’s bags.

“There’s a half-eaten cookie over here.”

Seulgi was right; there was a half-eaten red velvet cookie lying on the ground surrounded by hundreds of little ants feeding off of it. The hard-working insects diligently chipped off the cookie bit by bit and dragged them off elsewhere.

“What’s a cookie doing here?” Seungwan wondered out loud. Cookies don’t just grow out of the ground.  _Somebody_  must have recently dropped it there—if not minutes, then maybe a few hours ago. One thing was for sure—it wasn’t them who dropped this thing. Seungwan looked around and about 5 feet away from the huge cookie piece, she found more. “Hey, look, Seul, there are more crumbs over here. And there!”

"Looks like someone left a trail of cookies, but seems like they're not very smart, because the ants are starting to eat them...," Seulgi mumbled. "Is it because they eat sweet things that their butts taste sweet?"

 

 

##ㅋ쿠ㅜㅜㅜㅋㅋㅈ쟈

…

…#

“Seulgi, what in the world are you doing?! Don’t eat ThAaaTㅜ#c0oK!ㅌ off the ground!”

YㅌS yUmMmmY (she’s 12, young and stupid. what does she know…)

As the two girls wandered further like looking for traces of cookie crumbs, the two of them stopped in their tracks.

A few paces further and there it was. They could see it with their very own eyes. 

The cabin was there.

_Gotta take photos._

_ㅜㅜㅜㅠㅠㅜㅜㅠ_

yUmM—

ㅆsㅌUㄴ기 sT0P EAtING—

_Huh?_

_..._

Kang Seulgi grumbled and tossed and twisted and turned. With one lousy movement, her entire body tipped off the edge… and fell with a loud thud on the floor. Although her body was cushioned by a soft wrapping of sorts, her head crashed against the glossy, woody surface pretty hard. Good thing she was rather hard-headed (pun intended).

“Owowow…” the poor thing shuffled in the dark. Soon, her groping hands managed to grab a hold of a familiar wall switch. With a quick press, the dark room was illuminated by bright fluorescent lights, revealing the oh-so-familiar master bedroom of the vacation house. After taking the pair of glasses resting on the side table, she looked to the alarm clock.

**October 7, 2018. 4:12 a.m.**

“What the hell… another dream… This is all because of Soo-Young and her agendas…”

Seulgi pulled up the sheets she had dragged down to the floor with her and tossed them back onto the bed. While lethargy, exhaustion, and insomnia waged war with each other in taking over her drained body, Seulgi sat still on her bed—half-awake, half-asleep. After a while, her barely-opened eyes opened wider. A low, beastly growl resounded from down in her stomach. Insomnia and hunger seemed to have won.

Out of the master bedroom and down the dim hall, the bare-footed insomniac silently trudged so as not to wake the other two girls in the house. She wandered down the dark hall depending on the light emanating from her room until she made it to the stairs. There she flicked the light switch on, only illuminating path of the stairs. Down in the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator. Her lazy hands reached for the milk carton and the opened pack of store-bought cookies. After eating a cookie and drinking milk from a wine glass, Seulgi went back up the stairs to the dark hall, switching off the lights thereafter.

As she walked down to the other end of the hall to the master bedroom, she noticed something she had not noticed earlier. Down on the slit below Wendy’s door was a dim light. Wendy’s lamplight was on.  _Is she awake?_ Seulgi stood before the door and pressed her ears against the cold, varnished surface. She could hear a soft buzzing of what seemed to be muffled sounds of someone singing along to a backing track.

As Seulgi continued trying to listen to a barely audible song, she almost fell off balance and ended up rattling the doorknob making a few noises.

“Huh? What was that?” Wendy looked up from her phone and stared at the door.

Just to make sure she was not hallucinating, Wendy went to the door and opened it. When the door opened, Seulgi’s eyes grew wide in shock, followed by Wendy as well. “Seulgi? What are you doing here?” she loudly whispered.

“I-I-I can explain!”

Wendy pressed a finger to her lips. “Shush!”

Seulgi quieted down and looked behind her to make sure Soo-Young was not getting disturbed by their ruckus.

“Come in.”

Seulgi then quickly went in and Wendy shut the door behind her. The two of them then sat on Wendy’s bed together.

“You almost scared me. Were you snooping around and creeping on my door?!”

“Well I… um kinda…,” Seulgi awkwardly answered. She still was not quite sure on how to act around this old friend of hers. Technically Seungwan, or Wendy Son, was closer to a stranger than a close friend at this point. “I just passed by! I’m not a creep I swear!”

Despite the blonde-dyed hair and westernized manner of speaking, Seulgi saw something in Wendy Son that was retained all these years. Just like young Seungwan, Wendy lit up to a sweet-sounding laugh—chuckling at the silly bear’s words like it was the funniest thing on earth.

“What’s so funny?” Seulgi asked in frustration.

“Oh… Seulgi,” Wendy said as she calmed down a bit. “You truly haven’t changed.”

“Really?” In her head, she seemed to have changed and matured quite a lot in the past ten years. It felt like a slight mockery to be told otherwise.

“Yes. Still very curious. Still moves and talks with that adorable child-likeness. Still very  _Seulgi_.”

 _Right… whatever that means… What exactly does being “Seulgi” mean?_ Trying not to think about it too much, Seulgi changed the subject. “Why are you awake anyway? You didn’t leave your room to have dinner earlier either.”

“Right now, it’s 3 p.m. in Toronto,” Wendy said, showing her phone screen to Seulgi. She still had not adjusted the time zone. “Jetlag.”

“Right… I totally get that feel…,” Seulgi muttered. Now she had no idea how to continue this small talk.

“What about you? Why are you awake at this hour?” Wendy asked.

“I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep,” Seulgi said nonchalantly. She sounded so jaded by all the nightmares lately that it did not even surprise her anymore.

“Insomnia?”

“You could say that,” Seulgi sighed. “Honestly, I fall asleep just fine. I just don’t want to.”

“Why?” Wendy gave her this gentle look of concern. Even when they were kids, Son Seungwan always looked after her. She has not changed either.

“I get weird dreams. They’re just messed-up images that make no sense.” Then Seulgi softly chuckled. “You were in my dream actually.”

“Really?”

“We were kids, and you told me not to eat the cookie that we found lying around on the forest,” Seulgi continued chuckling.

“I think that actually happened,” Wendy chuckled as well.

Then Seulgi continued in a more serious tone, “The thing is these dreams always end up taking a dark turn. I don’t know if you can call them dreams. More like a nightmare, honestly. The other night, you were there in my dream too. It was like a resurfacing memory. We were at a hospital and you ran toward me, crying.”

Wendy recognized the imagery immediately. “That was when Joohyun Unnie—”

_When Joohyun Unnie died. That was when Joohyun Unnie died._

“Yeah, I figured,” Seulgi said, not even letting Wendy finish her sentence. “Who knows? Maybe this house is haunted ha-ha…” That dark self-deprecating humour partnered with a forced laugh sounded more painful than playful. Slowly, her face changed from a bubbly smile to a melancholic frown as she looked down on her palms. “But it seems I’m haunted anywhere I go.”

Wendy lightly patted Seulgi’s back, making her lift her head again to face Wendy. “I know what you mean.”

Seulgi did not expect that answer. “Y-you do?”

“I don’t get nightmares, but in a way, there are just a lot of things in my mind all the time. That’s my nightmare.” Then Wendy looked at the small Bluetooth speaker she had brought along. It was still playing a soft tune as they were conversing.

“Why are you really here? You could have gone on a vacation anywhere, but here of all places?”

“There are things I just want to make peace with. That’s the real reason why I’m here.”

“Make peace…?”

“Do you know what the last stage of grief is?”

Seulgi stared blankly at Wendy.

“There are five stages of grief,” Wendy went on. “First is denial. That’s when you can’t believe what had just happened. Second is anger. Third is bargaining—when you start thinking of the what-ifs—considering better outcomes like 'if only we did something different' or 'if only this happened or that happened'… and the fourth is depression.” Wendy paused for a while. She took her phone and paused the playing song.

“What’s the fifth?”

“Acceptance.”

_Acceptance._

That word echoed back and forth like a dull gong inside Seulgi’s head.

“Accepting that things happened the way they did. Accepting that there is nothing we can do to change the past,” Wendy continued. Seulgi got the hint. “There are things that are difficult for me to accept, but I know I need to get to that part of grief somehow. I need to get to acceptance.”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

“I don’t know.”

* * *

__

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: 
> 
> Yes, this story is VERY loosely based on the #CookieJar MV. Kinda.  
> Also, when the characters(letters, punctuation) start going weird or I add some commas and dots that don’t make sense, it’s most likely entering into Seulgi’s distorted dreamworld version of the memory. Her dreams are combinations of different memories and are not part of the actual flashback.


	10. Suspicious Activity

**Chapter 9**

**Suspicious Activity**

 

**Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005**

“Here’s the proof!” With one quick toss, a bundle of polaroid photographs bounced and tumbled on Soo-Young’s bedspread until it finally settled down on the centre.

“You really went?!” she said, grabbing the photographs and undoing the rubber band holding the bundle together. With wide-eyes she swapped one photo with another and then another, scrutinizing Seulgi’s amateur shots.

“Yeah! Seungwan and I went together!”

Upon hearing Seulgi say those words, Soo-Young stopped and looked up from the photographs.  _Seulgi Unnie and Seungwan Unnie went together? Without me?! **And survived?!**_

“You what?!” Soo-Young dropped the photographs on the bed.  _Is this the pain of jealousy? Betrayal? Do I not exist anymore?_

Seulgi, on the other hand, was completely clueless of Soo-Young’s distress and shuffled through the photographs, searching for the important captures from their adventure.

When Seungwan entered the room with their snacks, Soo-Young got up from her bed and menacingly stood against the smaller unnie. “How could you have gone with her without telling me?! She was supposed to go alone!”

“Ah—I, um—” Seungwan was too caught off guard to say anything.

“Here they are!” clueless Seulgi exclaimed, waving a polaroid photo on one hand. She was too excited to talk about what happened in her expedition. “You know, when we were pretty far in the forest, we saw these half-eaten cookie crumbs. It was so weird.”

Soo-Young’s anger suddenly dissipated upon hearing what Seulgi had just said. “Cookie crumbs?” She focused her attention to Seulgi and left Seungwan alone. “Let me see that.” Back on the bed, she looked over the photographs that Seulgi wanted to show her. Seulgi had a bunch of pictures of different cookie droppings and even trails of ants on the forest floor. “What the hell…?”

Suddenly, Soo-Young remembered what she had seen the other day:  _Joohyun carried a pack of store-bought cookies into the forest._

“And we actually found the cabin.” Seulgi held up another photograph. Soo-Young immediately snatched it away from her. On the small polaroid was a weathered log cabin, slightly shrouded by the shadows of the towering trees. Maybe it was the old film or the bad lighting that made it seem so eerie yet tranquil. Seulgi's photos were not bad.

“Like your story, it was the only thing there,” Seulgi told her. “It seemed like an odd place for a house.”

“Did you hear the crying child? How did you find it? Is it really that far into the forest? Does someone actually live there?” Soo-Young had so many questions. She suddenly felt that same curiosity that surged through Seulgi’s veins. Though dubious about their testimony, she wanted to know everything.

“It was locked,” Seulgi said with a disappointed frown. “The windows were also covered with old newspapers, so it was impossible to see what was inside. I still wanted to look around, but Seungwan dragged me back home because she was too chicken to risk getting lost at sunset.” She just had to giggle at the last part about Seungwan.

“I’m just being safe, you idiot!” Seungwan argued.

While the two older girls argued about being a scaredy-cat and being a recklessly-curious-cat, Soo-Young suddenly muttered in a low voice, “Take me there.”

Seulgi and Seungwan stopped arguing and stared at Soo-Young in disbelief. “What?”

“I said, ‘Take me there.’”

 ***

****

**_Present Day: October 2018_ **

“Hi, hello, good morning everyone! Glad to see that you’re both awake.”

Seulgi and Wendy went down the stairs to the smell of frying eggs and sausages. Soo-Young had gotten up much earlier and had been preparing their breakfast while the insomniacs caught up on some shut-eye. Down on the dinner table, plates and bowls had already been laid out. The two then took their seats as the early bird began filling up their bowls of soup and rice. Finally, she served the plate of sunny-side-ups and sausages. “It’s breakfast time!”

“Wow, thanks a lot,” Wendy said, a bit surprised that Soo-Young was serving them breakfast. Maybe her “spoiled-brattiness” did not follow her into adulthood—which was good.

“This isn’t going to kill us, is it?” Seulgi said while rubbing her eyes with her knuckles.

“I’ll kill you if you diss it with your ungratefulness,” Soo-Young shot back. “Just eat and thank the Lord that someone thoughtfully prepared it for you.”

 _Ugh, I don’t understand her,_ Seulgi mused in her head.

“You guys agree to go searching today, right?”

Seulgi and Wendy suddenly looked to Soo-Young.

“Sure.” Unlike young Son Seungwan, this newly grown-up Wendy agreed almost immediately without even questioning the practicality of Soo-Young’s plans. Seulgi, however, continued awkwardly chewing slowly. The other two stared at her.

“Oh come on,” Soo-Young suddenly raised her voice at Seulgi again. “Don’t you try to act so mature. We all know you still talk with your mouth full on a normal basis, so don’t pretend like you’re waiting for that rice to go down your throat before answering.”

Seulgi took a glass of water and washed down what she chewed in her mouth. “You guys are leaving me no choice here, huh?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Soo-Young said with a more upbeat tone. “Great! We’re all going on an expedition today! Just like the good old days!”

“So, what’s our plan?” Wendy asked. Soo-Young stared blankly at her. Seulgi rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Well, I’m thinking we look for the old hideout deep in the woods…,” Soo-Young stated. “But I’m not sure how we’re going to do that.”

“Here we go again…” Seulgi ran her hands through her messy locks in frustration. “I’m telling you, what if—”

“You shut up!” Soo-Young yelled. She has had enough of hearing about the theoretical what-ifs.

“You’re making it sound like looking for a cookie jar in the woods is a simple thing,” Seulgi argued after Soo-Young explained to Wendy her “cookie jar theory.”

Needless to say, more arguing about the theoretical existence of this said hideout and cookie jar ensued. In the thick of the arguing, Wendy—who had been quiet the entire time—suddenly spoke up. “Maybe instead of looking for something specific, we need to do something else.”

“Like what?”

“Something easier. Like, survey the land first. We need to do this in steps.”

***

****

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

“This is nuts! I can’t believe I’m willingly getting dragged here again!” 12-year-old Seungwan complained as she traversed through thorny bushes near the bank.

“You aren’t really getting dragged if you’re the one leading,” Soo-Young said following closely behind Seungwan. Since the oh-so-clever Son Seungwan was the one who cleverly dropped the marbles, she ended up leading the pack this time with the other two on her tail.

“The weather is getting chillier too,” Seungwan continued mumbling to herself as she hiked up a sloped path. “I won’t be surprised if we end up catching a cold by staying out and venturing into the wilderness like this.”

After hours of arguing, complaining, trudging, and wandering deeper into the middle of woody nowhere, the huge rock—the one that stuck out like a sore grey thumb amidst the tall trees finally came into view. They were getting closer—very close.

“My legs hurt so bad!” Soo-Young wailed. Squirrels and chipmunks scurried off in fear due to the noise she was making. To ease her pain, she sat by the rock and twisted off her water bottle cap.

“Maybe we should rest for a while,” Seungwan decided as she sat beside Soo-Young. She had been acting as their leader for this whole expedition. “We’re really close though.”

While the other two rested, Seulgi blithely fluttered around the place like an overly blissful butterfly, collecting random things off the ground like irregularly shaped rocks, colourful flowers, fallen leaves, and pinecones.  _She’s so dumb,_ Soo-Young internally scoffed.  _I bet she looks at every stupid inanimate object and names them all and makes them her friends. Ridiculous._

“Was it not scary at all?” Soo-Young asked Seungwan while watching the carefree little butterfly go around picking up all the useless things nature had to offer.

“The cabin?”

“A little bit?”

 

After a few minutes of more walking, they had finally reached their destination. There in the middle of the woods was a bizarre, seemingly-unnatural clearing. And at the centre of this clearing was an old, weathered log cabin, standing like an unwanted loner amid an unamused crowd. The trees seemed to have distanced themselves from the shack as if these  _brainless_ ,  _senseless_ , gigantic plants were afraid to approach the relic within a 5-metre radius. But not everything—dead or alive—was apprehensive about this. Despite the trees distancing themselves, shadows and overgrown vines crept over the shack as though magnetized by a daring attraction. Winds from different directions picked up lifeless dead leaves, swished and fluttered in tornado-like circles as if a pulling a weak attempt on attacking its weathered roof shingles and windows. Just as was printed on the photograph, the scene was eerie yet somehow unusually tranquil. Was it because it was far away from the noise and disturbances of civilisation? Maybe.

“What in the world…,” Soo-Young whispered as they approached the cabin. “This is such a weird—” She stopped in her tracks. Down below her rubber soles was a squished mash of—

“There are cookie crumbs here again,” said Seulgi, also looking down on the ground.

“I wonder who’s littering cookie crumbs here?”

Ignoring the cookies, Soo-Young walked faster toward the house and began banging on the door.

“No one’s there. We tried yesterday,” Seungwan told her.

Soo-young stopped and looked around the area. “No. Whoever lives here is just trying to make it seem like this old house is abandoned somehow.” Then she began to yell. “Come out! Whoever you are!”

“Um, Soo, even if there is someone, what if it’s one scary person? Maybe we shouldn’t be making so much of a ruckus…”

Then there was a loud squawk of a raven from high up in the trees. Soo-Young stopped making a fuss and glanced at Seungwan. Clearly, some force did not want them around. Or maybe it was just a preteen's wild imagination.

“This place is honestly creepy. Let’s go back so we can make it home before sundown,” Seungwan reasoned. "There might be other wild and dangerous creatures here, and I'm not going to stay to find out."

Meanwhile, Seulgi was crouching down on the ground again and fumbling with whatever she had randomly spotted on the ground. When Soo-Young spotted her, she furled her brows even more.  _Gosh, that stupid Kang Seulgi with the low attention spa—_

“Um, guys, I think I found something,” they heard Seulgi call out. Now she was on all fours… digging up something from within a tree stump with her bare (bear) claws.

Seungwan squealed. “Seulgi, don’t be so dirty!”

However, upon seeing what Seulgi had somehow uncovered, the other two gasped. Down in the dirt was a light-pink ceramic lid with a chipped handle. Seulgi had cleared off the pile of leaves that seemed to have been purposely thrown over it for cover.

“I think it’s a vase. Or a pot?” the curious cat said while carefully pulling it out. With the help of her two friends, they managed to take the ceramic jar out of the tree stump without clumsily breaking it into pieces.

Then Soo-Young pulled the lid off. Upon seeing what was inside, they all glanced at each other.

“What is this?”

Inside, was a clear Ziplock bag filled with assorted  _cookies._

“A cookie jar?” Seungwan shook her head in confusion. “Why would anyone hide cookies in a tree stump in the middle of the forest?”

“That weirdo,” Soo-Young scoffed. She already had her suspicions.  _It’s definitely **her.**_  Yet Soo-Young still could not figure out the reasons this suspicious individual might have in doing something so outlandish.

“Hey, look, there’s a key here as well,” Seulgi said, noticing an old, slightly rusty key in the tree stump.

“Give me that!” Soo-Young took the key from Seulgi and approached the cabin door.

“Oh my god.” Seungwan tried to cover her gaping mouth. Seulgi let her jaw hang loose without covering it.

The key fit perfectly in the small doorknob slot. With one twist,  _the lock_   _clicked_.

 

_“What are you all doing here?”_

“AHHH!!” The three of them screamed like a bunch of sissies upon hearing a low, feminine voice from behind. When they turned around, their pupils dilated as if they had seen a ghost. However, instead of a ghost, they were met with a familiar pale-skinned  _neighbour._

“J-Joohyun Unnie?” Seulgi was still trembling in fear. Seungwan, on the other hand, exhaled a sigh of relief.

“YOU!” Soo-Young yelled with her finger rudely directed at the teenager. She marched furiously toward Joohyun and looked her in the face as if they stood on equal ground. (At this point, fifteen-year-old Joohyun and eleven-year-old Soo-Young were the same height.) “I KNEW IT!”

Instead of reacting violently to Soo-Young’s insulting gestures, Joohyun simply slightly tilted her head and cocked a brow. “You knew…?” Knew what exactly?

Then a small voice from below reached Soo-Young’s ears. When she looked down, she saw tiny hands tightly gripping Joohyun’s loose jogging pants. “Unnie, I’m scared,” the little voice cried.

Joohyun gently tapped something  _or someone_  hiding from behind her legs. “It’s okay, Yeri. Don’t be scared.” Soon the little human peeked from behind Joohyun’s waist to get a glance at the towering bully.

 _So it is true. Joohyun does have a younger sister…_ Soo-Young thought as her eyes looked down on the girl and back to Joohyun.

“What are you both doing here?” Seungwan asked, cautiously approaching from behind Soo-Young. Seulgi walked toward them as well.

Although she seemed rather calm at first, Joohyun’s eyes slowly turned into menacing dark orbs that shot from Soo-Young to Seungwan to Seulgi and back again. “I asked you first,” she said firmly.

In frustration, Soo-Young turned to her two friends and raised her voice even more. “Don’t you see, they’ve been coming here all this time! Those cookies couldn’t have been scattered around for no reason! It’s them! They’re the culprit!” Then she faced Joohyun again. “What the heck are you doing here being all suspicious? Is this your hideout or something? What are you hiding here for?”

“Soo-Young…,” Seulgi whined, trying to make Soo-Young stop talking harshly at Joohyun. By the tone of Soo-Young’s voice, it seemed like she was accusing her of something horrible.

“Yes, this is our hideout!” For the very first time, everyone here—including Yeri—had heard Joohyun display an outburst. “And since it is completely  _none_  of your businesses why we’re here, I suggest you all leave.  _Now._ ”

The three adventurers stood aghast before her. Joohyun displayed fury: her fists were trembling and her breathing was rhythmic and steady; her once beautiful eyes pierced through them like daggers. She stood her ground unmoving, and even with her petite figure, she intimidated them just by her presence. Maybe she had every right to be mad; they had unrightfully breached  _her_  privacy and trespassed on  _her_  turf. Plus, there was this one rude grade-schooler who kept yelling at her in front of her sensitive little sister…

 

_But… why?_

_Why is she so secretive?_ Seulgi thought as she speechlessly stood there before her. She did not want to see this—to see Joohyun so distressed— _because of them—_ and she had no idea why _._ Seulgi wanted to make it right immediately. But right now, Bae Joohyun—that same girl who was so kind to her and her friends several times before—was intimidating,  _terrifying_. It’s scary how one very strong emotion such as anger can easily change what used to be a peaceful soul.

“Well, what are you all standing around for?! I said leave!” Joohyun repeated. The little girl standing behind her tightly hung onto her pants even more.

“Why?! What are you keeping in there?!” Soo-Young continued. “You’re doing something illegal aren’t you? Shoplifting? Experimenting on stray cats? Rats? What?”

Joohyun displayed a face of disgust. Those accusations were far from accurate.

“Let’s go, guys,” Seungwan softly said. She knew she had to be the wise one and take Seulgi's and Soo-Young’s arms to pull them out of there. “It’s none of our business.”

“Weirdo. I don’t even know if I want to know whatever the hell their business is,” Soo-Young muttered as she went along with Seungwan. Joohyun heard it.

“Wait, I—” Seulgi still tried to fight Seungwan’s grip, but Seungwan only tightened her hold on her.

And so, the three of them left Joohyun and Yeri there.

***

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

On that cloudy grey autumn morning, all three jobless adults surveyed the long road of the lakeside park. Unlike their previous lakeside explorations, they no longer had to go through itchy grass and prickly thistles. Most of the woody areas surrounding the lake were no longer a threat to little children’s safety. Cars, families, joggers, cyclers, and people of all ages conveniently pass through that road, either to get to where they were going or for simple leisure.

“It’s so urbanized already. I can’t believe all of this used to be overgrown with trees and plants. Imagine how much easier that would have been for us back then,” Wendy remarked as she watched the joggers and cyclers through the car window.

“I kinda want to check out the restaurants over there,” Seulgi said, pointing her thumb behind her, toward the curve of the lake with the lakeside restaurants and the boardwalk, just a few kilometres behind them.  _The classy area._ She was after the picturesque view. Too bad they were driving in the opposite direction.

“We can check that out later. For now, stick with the plan, please,” Soo-Young said as she drove the pack down the road.

After a few minutes or so, Soo-Young parked on the side and all three stepped out of the car and onto the rubber cycling/pedestrian lane.

“There.” Seulgi pointed to the faraway cliff that was visible from the cycling path. Then she looked down her DSLR camera. On the display screen of her camera was the same scene that she had just pointed to—that photograph of the girl who looked eerily similar to Joohyun, standing on the same cliff.

Moments later, Wendy showed her phone screen to the other two. “According to the satellite map, this entire area is still forest,” she said pointing to the steeply raised area on the right side of the road. It was so steep that it was almost a rock wall with trees at the top. “If you look down the road to the north, this gets higher and higher and probably turns into a high cliff until you reach that part where faux Joohyun is standing.”

“Faux Joohyun?” Seulgi raised her brows.

“Whoever that girl is.” Wendy winked.

“That’s because the land was originally raised that way,” said Soo-Young, thinking about the original lay of the land. “They just carved this flat area to accommodate a road that connects the new business district in the north of town to the lake and fancy area south of the lake. Man, the things people do to ruin nature…”

“If they only developed the lakeside and the forest is still intact, then maybe the hideout is still there.” Wendy then took a peek on Seulgi’s photograph once more. “And if that girl found a way to get to that cliff, then the forest may still be accessible. I have a feeling… I just have this feeling…”

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._ Tapping sensations on their head came out of nowhere.

“Huh?” _Another distraction._

All three looked up at the thickening rain clouds gathering high above their heads. Across the lake, the blue mountains slowly blurred with the grey sky until they were barely visible. The chilly wind began to blow stronger, making them all hold on to their coats. Soon, more drops of rain began tapping their heads, telling them to take cover.

“Quick, get in the car,” Soo-Young said after pressing a button on her car key.

When the triad finally locked themselves in the car, Seulgi asked, “Now what?”

 

Since none of them could do anything about the uncooperating weather, they went to a Japanese-style souffle pancake restaurant south of the lake. While they were eating together, Soo-Young audibly sighed and placed her fork down on the table. Looking out the window, she said, “I hate this weather.”

Outside, the low clouds had completely shrouded the mountains on the northside of the lake. Although Keoul Lake was known for its placid mirror-like waters, on rainy days such as this, small ripples of waves formed by the wind and rain blurred the reflections on the water. The lake water had turned into a grey blob, reflecting nothing but blurred images and the depressingly colourless sky.

“Nobody likes it,” Wendy said, not even looking out the windows and only focusing on the pancake before her. Then she glanced at Seulgi, whose melancholic eyes had not left the scene at all. “Except maybe her.”

Realising that her friends had brought her into the conversation, Seulgi turned away from the glass window beside her and looked at them from across the dining table.

“You’ve really turned into  _her_ , huh? Staring into the lake like you're in some trance,” Soo-Young said, throwing Seulgi off guard.

The girl with the distracted monolid eyes blinked. “What?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Seulgi picked up her glass of coke. “Stop saying that. I’m nothing like Joohyun Unnie.”

 _Here they go again…_ Wendy rolled her eyes as she watched her two old friends grumble and bicker over insignificant things.

“Speaking of Joohyun Unnie, I think I might have an idea to who the girl in the photo is,” Wendy spoke up, hushing the other two. “Bae Yeri. Joohyun Unnie’s little sister.”

“Oh my god.” Soo-Young’s eyes dilated and her mouth gaped. Her face had gone pale. She slowly placed her fork down on the table and swallowed the mashed pancake she had been chewing in her mouth.

“I know, right? Think about it! She was just ten when Joohyu—”

Suddenly, Soo-Young forcefully cupped Wendy’s loud mouth with her hand. “Shush!”

Seulgi twisted her neck to look behind her and immediately saw what Soo-Young had just seen.

While they were eating, someone had just entered the pancake house. From the side—in that angle where they were sitting at the restaurant—she looked incredibly similar to Joohyun. Soo-Young could not believe it at all. As ludicrous as it was to hear her friends talk about seeing some dead person, experiencing it herself was even more out of this world. The girl had walked up to the counter and placed an order before walking toward the empty table just behind Seulgi. From there Soo-Young and Wendy could see her backside, while Seulgi was too nervous to turn around to look now. All of them trembled in their seats as if they had unintentionally summoned the dead to a pancake restaurant.

“Psst, moron, give me your camera,” Soo-Young whispered to Seulgi. With a bit of instruction on how to use the DSLR camera, she managed to secretly take a photo of  _this person._

“S-she didn’t recognize us…?” Wendy whispered.

“Maybe we should get out of here,” Seulgi nervously uttered in a low voice.

Soo-Young shook her head and mouthed out a “NO.” Then she pulled Seulgi closer, “We’re staying here until she leaves.”

“Should we say hi?” Wendy asked.

“No! What are we even going to say to her?” Seulgi argued.

“So, what do we do? Just watch her?”

For the next twenty minutes or so, the triad sat there in their seats, being inconspicuous and trying not to squirm in nervousness—all while debating on whether to approach this girl or not. Eventually, the Joohyun doppelganger finished eating, stood up from her seat, and left the restaurant.

“Quick losers, let’s go after her!” Soo-Young said, slapping Wendy’s hip and trying to push her off the seat. “And Seulgi Unnie, ready your camera!”

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Wendy stood up and slung her bag strap over her shoulder.

“No time to question it!”

With Soo-Young’s insistence, the squad quickly scrambled down the stairs and out of the building—under the drizzling weather. Soo-Young pulled up her hoodie over her head while looking around the glossy wet asphalt street. “Crap, where’d she go?”

“That way!” Seulgi said, pointing to a small alley between two of the low restaurant buildings lining the lakeside road. The girl with the purple umbrella just turned a corner and disappeared, but she could not have gone far.

“Quick!” Soo-Young and Seulgi immediately went through the same alley. Soon they had disappeared at the corner as well.

“Hey! Wait!” Wendy called out as she hastily ran after them while trying to protect her head from the light rain with her leather handbag. Now was not the time to question the morality and legality of spying, especially when her buddies have gone off and left her with her thoughts already.

After turning left in the corner and following the alley exit, Wendy found herself in a brick sidewalk of a street intersection that led to the main highway. There in that small area lined with coffee shops and quaint fashion boutiques, she looked around and tried to find where the other two had headed off to.

“Wendy Unnie!” She heard Soo-Young yell out. When she looked to her right, she found Soo-Young waving at her from a pedestrian crossing. Wendy quickly ran to catch up with them.

“Gosh, guys!” Wendy said, almost about to reprimand them for almost ditching her, but then Soo-Young shushed her again. Beside Soo-Young was Seulgi— _busy with her camera._ She had taken off her trench coat and wrapped it around her camera and lens to keep it from getting wet with rain.

Through the lens, rain-drenched Seulgi spied on faux Joohyun from across the highway and took too many unwarranted shots of the girl as if all of this was for a dirty tabloid journalism piece. “She’s walking down the street…”

Wendy threw her hand up in the air. “I can’t believe we’re actually stalking this girl!”

“Shush!” Soo-Young grabbed her by the forearm and whispered in her ear, “You don’t want passersby to think you’re a pervert, do you?!”

Wendy gulped. “Because of you two, I feel like a pervert anyway!”

“Um, she’s entering an internet café ( _PC bang_ ),” Seulgi mumbled while looking through her finder.

Just then, the pedestrian lights turned green.

“Let’s go,” Soo-Young said, dragging them across the highway.

 

Upon entering the internet café with their wet clothes and heavy breaths, they awkwardly craned their necks to check the stalls for any sign of their target. And they did find her… playing a computer game. Looking at the automated kiosk by the reception area, the triad began scratching their heads.

“I can’t believe this,” Wendy said in frustration. “We’re literally like evil perverts snooping around and stalking some innocent girl!”

“I know! Don’t you think it’s fun?!” That was not the reaction Wendy wanted to hear from Soo-Young—or from anyone for that matter. “We’re like Team Rocket hunting down Pikachu! Just like when we were kids.”

Wendy slammed a palm to her face. “This is not the healing vacation I signed up for.”

“How long do you think she paid for?” Seulgi said while staring at the options on the kiosk’s screen.

 Soo-Young began pressing things. “Who knows.” After pressing more buttons, Soo-Young swiped her debit card on the scanner of the machine and a receipt was printed out for her.

“You’re going to play?” Seulgi was rather dumbfounded.

“We can’t just loiter around here until she comes out,” Soo-Young stated the obvious.

“Wow, really?” At this point, Wendy too at a loss for words. In the end, all three of them paid for 30 minutes of PC time and took their places where they could easily notice the girl’s movements.

While sitting around looking through computer games and other content, Soo-Young peeked past the stall partitions asked Wendy, “Do you really think she’s Bae Yeri?” (They were still speaking in hushed tones.)

“Maybe?”

“Guys, look at this,” Seulgi interrupted. “Oh, wait, I’ll send the files through Kakaotalk and you can check it there on your PCs.”

While Seulgi was sending whatever files she had procured, Wendy and Soo-Young logged into their respective SNS accounts through the PC. Upon opening their messages, they saw the photographs that Seulgi had recently taken with her DSLR camera. She had her camera connected to the PC and had the files transferred. Now all three of them could see the photographs on the high-definition screens.

“It’s…”

Seulgi inched her chair back to look at Wendy and Soo-Young. “It’s not Joohyun Unnie.”

“Yeah…” The other two commented as they looked through the photographs. In the well-zoomed pictures, the girls’ features were now more evident. “It’s just someone who looks like her.”

“It’s possible that it could be Yeri,” Wendy said as she stared at one of the photographs. “I remember that even back then, she looked a lot like a mini version of Joohyun Unnie. If you think about it, she’s probably 20 years old now, which is pretty close to Joohyun Unnie’s age when we last saw her.”

“If that girl really is Yeri, do you think she even remembers us at all?” Soo-Young started again.

“Who knows.”

Seulgi scooted back into her stall and positioned herself properly in front of her PC desk. Craning her neck a bit, she could see the crown of Yeri’s head (assuming it was her) from a distance. To her right, she can hear Wendy and Soo-Young mumbling to each other, but at this point, she was too distracted by her own thoughts to bother understanding them anymore.

  _I can’t believe I’m actually with this bunch...,_ Seulgi thought to herself.  _All those years of trying to forget, and now I back here with them, trying to dig out every horrible memory from back then. But what is the point of all of this?_

Seulgi clicked the x button of the slideshow window and unplugged her camera from the CPU’s USB port.

 _“Acceptance,”_ she remembered Wendy say last night.

_What does acceptance even mean?_

As much as she was apprehensive about this, in reality, she was badly, painfully curious. She wanted to continue following this girl. She wanted to keep watching her. She wanted to keep taking all these bad paparazzi photos of her. She was just drawn to her with this thrill and fear that she could not comprehend. Maybe it was because part of her still wanted to believe that this girl truly was Joohyun—that Joohyun was somehow miraculously still alive. But she knew very well that was not true.

“I’m kind of hoping Yeri doesn’t remember anything,” Seulgi overheard Wendy say. Seulgi then propped herself up and pushed her chair back to get a peek of her two friends again. From her seat, she could see that Soo-Young’s expression had grown dim.

“She used to be such a cute little kid,” Wendy said, still referring to Yeri. “I hope she grew up well.”

“Judging by these photos, maybe… maybe she turned out alright,” Soo-Young tried to reassure Wendy in a not-so-reassuring and slightly doubting voice. “It’s been ten years and she was very young back then. She probably doesn’t remember us anymore, which—the more you think about it—is definitely for the best.”

“Maybe.” 

***

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

A pull of the blanket here, and another deliberate twist in this direction, but sleep never came. 12-year-old Seulgi tossed and turned all through the night with obnoxious thoughts and questions that could not be silenced.  _Why did Joohyun Unnie get angry? Did we do something wrong? Did she just decide to hate us all of a sudden? Should I apologise on behalf of Soo-Young’s rudeness? Why can’t I sleep tonight? I still have an exam tomorrow! What was the date of Yi Sun-Shin’s legendary naval battle again? I’m so going to fail…_

As terrible as her sleep was on that night, her exam day was even worse. She forgot most of the historical dates, so she just guessed most of it and just slept on her desk through the rest of the period until she felt this odd tapping on her head. When her haggard eyes opened to the bright sun-lit classroom, she found her teacher glaring down at her, asking for her test paper. Everyone else in class may have giggled, but she had too many things running through her mind to be embarrassed. 

“Want to go get some street food downtown?” Soo-Young asked as they walked out of the school gates that noon. Since school ended earlier on exam days, they had plenty of time to rest before diving into the next set of exam subjects waiting for them tomorrow.

“Sure,” Seungwan said with a nod. “I’ve been craving some tteokbokki (spicy rice cakes) lately.”

“Let’s go then.”

“Um…,” Seulgi hesitated. “You guys can go on by yourselves.”

“You’re not coming?” Both Soo-Young and Seungwan were surprised. Seulgi usually never refused any opportunity that involved food.

“I, uh, need to go do something,” she awkwardly replied. “Like, erm… study. For tomorrow. Yeah.”

Seungwan and Soo-Young couldn’t be easily fooled by Seulgi’s lies. She was being too obvious. “Study” and “Seulgi” may rhyme somewhat, but they were never a harmonious coupling.

“The heck are you talking abou—” Seungwan was about to lash out and call her out on her lies, but Soo-Young firmly grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“So, you’re finally being the no-fun loser who wants to study hard, huh?” Soo-Young knew exactly what was going on, but she played along anyway. “Alright, we’ll go ahead. Good luck with your ‘studying’.”

“Ha-ha,” Seulgi awkwardly chuckled and sighed in relief. She almost thought that Soo-Young would get mad and not let her go. “Thanks.”

As they parted ways, Soo-Young pulled at Seungwan against her will, leaving her no choice but to go with her anyway. “Wait, wait!” When Seulgi had disappeared down the road on her bicycle, Soo-Young loosened her grip on Seungwan. “Why the heck did you let her go like that?! You know she’s lying! Who knows what she's planning to do with that lie!”

“I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to spend time with just you. Don’t you feel honoured?”

Seungwan slammed a palm to her face.

“You’re evil, you know?” Soo-Young said nonchalantly as if that wasn’t an insult to the kindest, most caring person on Earth.

“Me?! Evil?!” Seungwan’s eyes grew twice its size. If she was one of those cartoon characters on TV, her eyeballs would have jumped out of their sockets.

“You steal Seulgi Unnie from me like it’s nothing and uh, for your information, she was  _my_ friend first.”

As much as Seungwan liked Soo-Young and just about everyone else, she was slightly irked by Soo-Young’s sassiness (but she never told anyone that).

“Who said I was stealing her from you?! We hang out with you all the time!”

“You went out to go to the woods with her and you didn’t invite me!”

Seungwan could not believe this. Soo-Young was getting jealous just because she spent time with Seulgi alone. It sounded so ridiculous to her. How could anyone be so obsessive?! “If you wanted to hang out with her so bad, why didn’t you go after her then?”

“I figured you and I haven’t had any one-on-one time together, so why not? Besides, if you’re hanging out with me and not her, that means you don’t get to hang out with her. It’s a win-win situation.”

As Seungwan hopped onto the back passenger seat of Soo-Young’s bike, she could not help but shake her head and think,  _This girl has major issues…_

 

Anyway, while those two were spending their first “one-on-one time” together, Seulgi sped through the road and down between yellowing rice fields to make it to their house as fast as possible. Upon entering their gate, she briefly greeted her grandparents and went straight into her room. There on the bed, she quickly poured out all the contents of her school backpack. Her notebooks, her books, her pencil case—all fell out and were messily sprawled on the bed. Then she stuffed her bag with things that were completely not school-related—the polaroid shots they took in the woods, the map she and Seungwan created, a flashlight, a bottle of water, and some hot packs—in case the weather gets chillier later in the day—because she only had one thing in mind:  _I need to go see Joohyun Unnie._ After changing into more comfortable clothes and flatly refusing the lunch her grandparents prepared, Seulgi ventured into the woods. Joohyun may not even be there, but she was not a pessimist as a child. She just went into the forest thinking she would see Joohyun anyway.

When she got to the hidden cabin, she knocked on the door but there was no answer. It was quiet in that deep part of the forest as usual. Nobody seemed to be there, except the chipmunks and the occasional raven high up in the pine trees.

Soon her stomach began to rumble. In the stillness of the undisturbed forest, the growls of her hungry belly were magnified. She sure regretted refusing her grandmother’s lunch now. She also forgot to pack some snacks. Now all she could do was look at the ground covered in red, orange, and yellow leaves and squint her eyes, pretending she was in the middle of a large ramen pot. In this slightly chilly autumn weather, a warm bowl of spicy instant noodles would hit the spot…

After what seemed to be an eternity in that forest (actually it was just 15 minutes), Seulgi, who was sitting down on the dirt and leaning against the cabin door, began hearing crunching noises—noises made by stepping on dried leaves. When she looked up, she saw a taller girl and a smaller child walking toward her. Realising who they were, Seulgi quickly got up and dusted off the dirt from her pants.

“Seulgi…” Joohyun stopped walking and stared at her, obviously confused. This time her voice lost all hostility and was soft and gentle again. “What are you doing here again? Didn’t I tell you and your friends not to come back?”

“I’m sorry.” Seulgi bowed more than 90 degrees. “We didn’t mean to bother you the other day.”

While Seulgi’s head was bowed all the way down there, Joohyun and her sister Yeri looked at each other, unsure of how to respond.

“I hope you don’t get mad anymore. Soo-Young just isn’t very good with people, you know?” Seulgi then raised her head and stood up straight.

Looking at Seulgi with the slightest bit of pity, Joohyun gently said, “Go home, Seulgi. You don't want your grandparents and your friends to worry.”

“Are you not mad anymore?” Seulgi honestly could not tell. Joohyun was a difficult person to read, and Seulgi was not the best at reading others either.

“No. Just go. And don’t come back, okay?”

“Oh… Okay...” Seulgi then awkwardly took some steps to the side. (She was blocking the door to the cabin.) It was good to know that Joohyun was not mad anymore, but she still wanted to ask why this and why that… She just did not want to seem like she was prying too much.

As Seulgi was about to leave, she suddenly heard the smaller human speak to her in a tiny, squeaky voice.

“Where’s Seungwan Unnie?”

Seulgi looked at the little kid beside Joohyun. This baby’s brown eyes were round and shiny—like that of an affectionate tabby cat. It seemed like she was pleading for the answer with those sweet eyes.

“Seungwan is not with me,” Seulgi answered. Joohyun looked back at Seulgi with this sharply ambiguous gaze.

“Oh…” The light in Yeri's eyes seemed to have disappeared. Even with the mask covering her face, her eyes were expressive enough to show what she was feeling. Then she looked up at her older sister, pointed her finger toward Seulgi, and said, “Can’t we play with this unnie today?”

“Me?” The uninvited guest was dumbfounded.

“Yeri…,” Joohyun said in a soft, slightly troubled tone.

“Unnie please? Pleaaase?” Then Yeri looked at Seulgi and asked, “You’re not busy, right?” This kid was too cute to refuse. Even Seulgi felt touched that some little girl wanted to play with her. It was too adorable.

“Well, not really,” Seulgi said, completely forgetting that she needed to study for her next set of exams.

The girl turned to Joohyun and begged again. “Please unnie?”

Joohyun sighed and hesitantly said in defeat, “Okay, fine.” She then walked past Seulgi and opened the cabin door with her key.

Seulgi’s jaw dropped. The cabin door has officially unlocked like some new advancement to a video game. Joohyun was right there, inviting her in, even after she just told her to leave a few seconds ago.

“Wait, what?” Seulgi did not know what to do. Before she knew it, this little girl about two-thirds of her height had wrapped a hand around her finger and led her into the cabin.

Hopping and skipping into the wooden cabin, Yeri excitedly squealed. "Yay! We're all playing together!"

The cabin—though horribly portrayed by Soo-Young's story and their wild imaginations—was actually a homey, rustic little space. There were no animal experiments or spooky spiders, nor cursed farm tools, nor rotting human body parts. What Seulgi found there upon entering was a spread-out mat with worn-out playthings scattered on the floor—legos, dinosaur toys, stuffed toys and dolls. In one corner of the small one-room cabin were a neatly arranged desk and three bookshelves filled with books and notebooks. On the walls were colourful images roughly drawn by crayon and unskilled hands—childish artworks on paper of varying sizes stuck to the walls with scotch tape.

"Welcome to our hideout!" Yeri exclaimed. "This is where I play, and this is where Joohyun Unnie studies!"

"Wow, this place is actually quite nice," Seulgi said, admiring the drawings on the walls and forgetting about her hunger.

"I drew this one, and this one, and this one..." The little tyke was just too excited to show her new friend everything. 

Joohyun, on the other hand, just watched Yeri and Seulgi while picking up the scattered toys and placing them into the box in one corner of the room.

When she turned from the wall and saw how quiet Joohyun was, Seulgi began to wonder  _why was this place such a secret? Why did she ask them all to leave?_ In Seulgi's mind, if she had a hideout like this, she would want to show _all_ her friends. Or did Joohyun not consider her a friend until a few minutes ago?

Going to the other side of the room with the bookshelves, Seulgi asked Joohyun, "Do you read all of these?" 

"Not all." That was when Seulgi realised that some of the "books" were actually photo albums, scrapbooks, sketchbooks, and really thick planners.

"Unnie likes to make stories!" Yeri said. Joohyun frowned at her as if she was embarrassed.

"Really?" Seulgi almost tried to grab one notebook from the bookshelf but stopped herself. Then she looked to Joohyun and asked, "Can I look?"

Joohyun just stared at her and did not answer. Fearing the ambiguity in Joohyun's eyes, Seulgi decided to let it go and went back to the mat to sit with Yeri. By then, Joohyun had already cleared up the mess of toys, but Yeri began taking out a few stuffed toys again. Her older sister did not stop her though and just continued watching her.

"Here, this is you," Yeri said, handing Seulgi a furry teddy bear.

"This is me? Alright." Seulgi chuckled.

"I'll be this one," Yeri said, showing Seulgi a stuffed Squirtle doll.

Then, as if she was uncomfortable and a bit itchy, the little girl had taken off the black mask on her face. When Seulgi saw her small round face, it was like her heart melted. She was the cutest little girl she had ever seen. And she looked a lot like her pretty older sister—like Joohyun's mini-me. However, Seulgi also noticed something else. There on the girl's plump cheek was a very noticeable slash of discolouration—like a  scar... maybe a birthmark? 

"What's that on your face?" Seulgi asked.

Yeri stopped playing with her Squirtle plushie and turned to Joohyun. So Joohyun then answered for her. "I-it's just a... a scar."

"A scar? That big? What happened?"

"S-she's a very active and energetic thing," Joohyun nervously said. "That's why you have to be careful when you run around."

"Let's play monster fight!!!" Yeri then moved her stuffed toy and pretended to slap the teddy bear Seulgi was holding. Seulgi laughed and played along, retaliating some attacks.

"You lose, Bear Unnie!"

While Yeri and Seulgi were enjoying themselves and laughing together, they heard suddenly Joohyun say, "Yeri, you're playing with her, but you don't even know her name."

"I'm Seulgi Unnie," Seulgi said, introducing herself to the kid.

Yeri pouted. "But I like Bear Unnie better."

"Okay, you can call me that too."

While they were playing, Seulgi took a few glances at Joohyun, who was comfortably against sitting the wall of artworks. Although she may have acted cold earlier, Joohyun now had this motherly smile on her face while staring at Yeri. She looked at Yeri as if she was the most precious child on Earth. 

Then Yeri asked Seulgi, "Can you bring Seungwan Unnie next time? She promised me she will play with me."

Seulgi looked at Joohyun, whose expression had suddenly turned dark.

"Um... maybe?" Seulgi nervously replied. Joohyun softened again and sighed. She sat there looking defeated for whatever reason.

"Yay!" Yeri rejoiced. "I can't wait."

***

 

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

The triad spent almost two hours at the internet café. They may not have the slightest clue as to what this stalking mission might benefit them, but keeping the “Yeri Theory” in mind, they continued watching this unknown Joohyun lookalike anyway.

“Gosh, how long is this kid going to play PUBG?” Soo-Young mumbled. “I left my house so I don’t have to watch my stupid brother play video games all day, and now I’m watching this stranger play all day, damn it! Is this karma?”

Wendy rolled her eyes. “It was your idea to stalk her.”

"Now that I think about it, if she is around 20 years old, shouldn't she be in college? What is she doing wasting her time during a weekday?" 

Seulgi rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Maybe you should ask yourself that same question... Why are you jobless?"

"Not everyone goes to college, Soo-Young," Seungwan answered.

Suddenly, footsteps were heard from the lounge. “Yah! KIM YERIM!” Someone had barged into the internet café and began peeking through the rows of desks in the dark computer room.

“Oh my god,” Soo-Young held her chest in surprise. “That loud voice… isn’t she the same woman in the Chinese restaurant?”

“Taeyeon…?”

Immediately after that outburst, the girl they were stalking quickly stood up from her desk without logging out of the PC. Seulgi also stood up as a reflex and saw the girl trying to run the other direction, avoiding the woman from the Chinese restaurant. Soo-Young and Seungwan saw it too but was too surprised to react. “What the…”

“HEY, YOU LITTLE BRAT, GET BACK HERE!”

Since she was young and quite agile, the girl had immediately left the internet café, and the Chinese restaurant lady also ran out to go after her. Meanwhile, the triad sat there completely dumbfounded. It was like a tornado suddenly swept over the room for about 3 seconds, and now it was gone as if it never happened.

“Kim Yerim…?” Seulgi repeated the name.

“Well, that was kinda messed up…”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note  
> In the next chapter, I will be revealing Bae Yeri/Kim Yerim's point of view, and in the process also reveal more about Joohyun too, so I hope you all look forward to it :)  
> In the meantime, here's a character summary from my drafts:
> 
> Seulgi – Optimist child that was ruined by tragedy. Heavily relies on escapism to temporarily relieve herself from her trauma. Scared of remembering her past.  
> Soo-Young – Attention-starved as a child. Extremely clingy and truly loved the few friends she had in her childhood. Grew up to be independent and rebellious and easily frustrated with people.  
> Seungwan – Bright and caring girl who wants the best for everyone. Very empathic and feels overly burdened by the problems of others. Eventually realizes her own problems and wants to fix them.  
> Yeri - ?  
> Joohyun - ?
> 
> Also, here's a hint: I will never actually reveal Joohyun's thoughts/POV in this story. You can only read about her life through everyone else's point of view.


	11. Indecision

**CHAPTER 10**

**Indecision**

 

“This is what you call rebellion? You’re so pathetic, Yerim Noona.”

It was past sunset. Despite the encroaching darkness, the remnants of twilight left by the lost sun and the small dots of lights far on the other side of the plain painted a calming evening scenery. There at the hilltop of historical burial mounds, two youthful silhouettes stood overlooking the vast view.

“What do you want me to do? Smoke cigarettes with you?” The girl twirled her purple umbrella and with one quick swipe, used it to clear off the extra raindrops on the stone information tablet beside one of the smaller burial mounds. Taking out a newspaper roll from her tote bag, she then laid it out on the stone and comfortably sat on it. The younger boy accompanying her groaned and rolled his eyes. Then he handed her a plastic bag. Seeing him display an attitude, she quickly snatched the plastic bag and said, “You’re calling me pathetic, but you’re the one serving me like a stupid slave. Who exactly is pathetic here?” Then she pointed to the space on her side. “Sit down. Eat with me.”

Slowly and as carefully as possible, her pretty fingers picked at the purplish paper-thin sweet potato skin. After nicely peeling it halfway, she handed the sweet potato to the boy who sat beside her. “Eat up, Haechan.”

“Great, it’s all cold now,” he complained.

“Why don’t you use your stupid cigarette lighter to heat it up?!” she said in an annoyed tone.

“I told you, I’m sorry, okay?!” He glared at her and just took a bite out of the sweet potato anyway. “And I don’t smoke! I haven’t tried since then!”

She was never friends with him. She never had friends. The only reason they stuck around each other was a common misfortune: they were both expelled from high school. By the legal age of 20 (in Korean age), Kim Yerim should have been a university student by now, but she still hasn’t graduated high school. She was never the most agreeable student, despite being considered as one of the prettiest girls in high school. Too bad people look at her and all they see was a tragedy. Pretty, but not a good student. Pretty, but got expelled from high school. Pretty, but whatever other negative reason. And this boy she as with? It was a similar story, but bad boys were often given more slack for the dumbest reasons.

So, why were they expelled exactly? Other than the bad grades and the terrible attitude, they were caught smoking cigarettes in school and was charged with attempted arson—sort of, but not really. It was that one day during spring exam week after Yerim had ingeniously,  _purposely_  chose all the wrong answers in a multiple-choice exam—just to prove a point (but we’ll talk about that later). After the exam, she headed to one of the high school’s emergency exits—the one that led to the lakeside forest. Upon sneaking out of the emergency exit, she saw this bloke at the side of the school building, having trouble lighting up a cigarette. She could tell he was inexperienced and had never smoked before.

“You moron! What the hell are you doing?!” she had slapped his hand to stop him while he was trying to burn the tip of his cigarette with the flame from his Zippo lighter. The lighter flew sideways and fell… on a pile of dead, easily flammable leaves gathered by the roots of a huge tree. While they argued, a fire began to burn until they had to stop arguing and start trying to put out the fire. Moments later, chaos ensued. The huge tree near the school was burning and firefighters came to put it out. Now Yeri and her acquaintance (or slave?) were both jobless and still rejected by the only high school in town.

Thereafter, Kim Yerim had been doing whatever, getting in trouble with her older cousin, Kim Taeyeon, the Xiah Dragon Noodles manager. She had stolen her credit card and had been using it on PC games and swanky meals. Oddly, she did return it sometimes (like when the card exceeded its limit). Taeyeon has tried reprimanding her countless times, but Yeri was just too callous to care and always runs off before Taeyeon could do anything about it. After ditching Taeyeon at the PC café earlier, she had hidden again in another part of town and even managed to get Haechan to bring her some sweet potatoes. That was why they were here at the hilltop of historical mounds overlooking the farming fields. Taeyeon probably wouldn’t think to look for them there at such a recluse area. She could have gone to her hideout deep in the woods, but with the recent rain, the forest was a little harder to access.

As they were eating their sweet potatoes, Yeri had taken out a book from her tote bag. It was a murder mystery novel—one of her favourite genres. Using the flashlight from her phone, she began to read in the dark.

“You’re so bad at this,” Haechan scoffed.

She glared at him. “Bad at what?”

“I mean this whole rebel thing doesn’t fit you at all. You go all the way out here and you read a book?”

“I can do whatever I want.” She had always been a bookworm. There was always this emptiness that bothered her whenever she didn’t have a book with her. Even after playing video games all day, she still reached for her books like some dependence—like an addiction. And it did not even matter what book it was—she read everything—even those difficult college textbooks that even professors found difficult to understand. She has even stolen books from libraries and book stores. In other words, for a “bad student,” she was  _extremely_  book smart. How else would she be able to purposely get all the answers wrong in a multiple-choice quiz unless she knew exactly what the correct answers were?

“If you like books so much, why don’t you go back to school?” He wasn’t asking because he was curious; he just wanted to piss her off.

Kim Yerim was full of contradictions: she was smart, but she purposely failed her exams. She always went around acting like she never cared about anyone or anything, but she did not want this younger boy to acquire a smoking habit. Nothing about her made any sense.

“I don’t want to, okay? Is that a good enough answer for you?” After finishing her evening snack, she threw the last bit of sweet potato skin into the plastic bag. Then she went into a full rant, “What’s the point? Nowadays, students in school study to get good grades, and not for knowledge’s sake—not even for learning’s sake. They study because their parents tell them to, so they can get good grades; so they can get into university; so they can get a job; so they can earn money; so they can spend it and gain things that won’t matter once they’re  _dead!_  So, what’s the point in school, really? Everything leads to one end, and all these humans walk around pretending like they don’t know what that is!”

“Alright, chill, girl.” Haechan scooted a little bit on his seat to give her distance.

Then Yerim yelled one last question at the unresponsive night sky. “ _What the hell am I still doing here?!_ ”

***

****

**_Thirteen Years Ago: October 2005_ **

“I think it’s time to go home.” Those words always sounded so sharp—almost like shards of broken glass breaking and cutting through soft skin.  _Home._

Seven-year-old Yeri pouted and looked down on her Squirtle plushie. Nothing sounded more disappointing than another day ending. She was having so much fun with this new Bear unnie friend. Why did her older sister have to cut it short?

“It’s already 5,” her older sister said. “We need to get home before sunset.”

“But I’m still playing with Bear Unnie!” She wasn’t as naïve as most older people thought. She knew that if she begged hard enough, her sister would eventually oblige. Sometimes it worked; most times it didn’t, but she knew enough to try.

While she was making a scrunched up disappointed face and hoping her sister might feel sorry for her again, she felt a bigger hand touch hers. It was Seulgi’s slim, warm hand. “Yeri, we can play while walking home together. I live in the house beside yours!”

Seeing that she had no other choice, Yeri finally obliged. She got up and walked home with these two unnies.

This was something new. Usually, she only walked with Joohyun home. Now Seulgi was here too, walking with them. It was nice. Though raised by a very anti-social older sister, Yeri was born with a love for others’ company. Although she didn’t know Seulgi well, she already decided that Seulgi was a nice trustworthy person—just like Seungwan. She liked them both. And right now, with Seulgi here with her, she felt this unexplainable happiness.

“She really is energetic, isn’t she?” Seulgi said as she watched Yeri go.

Throughout that walk home, Yeri skipped over rocks and ran down grassy slopes without holding her older sister’s hand. It was her way of showing that she could be independent. But she never rushed. She went at her own pace. Joohyun always told her to be careful. She knew that Joohyun was always worried about her, so she never went close to the edge of the cliffs unless her sister was holding onto her. Despite what Joohyun had told Seulgi earlier, Yeri was never a reckless child. Energetic, yes, but never reckless enough to hurt herself.

So how did she get that scar?

“Look, it’s so pretty!” Yeri exclaimed while looking out toward the lake. The sky had been dyed a warm red with blotches of greyish, purplish clouds slowly dispersing with the winds. The sun was getting ready to say goodbye—a very beautiful time of farewell.

“Yeah, it’s so pretty, isn’t it?” Joohyun stopped and looked at the sky with her. Seulgi joined them too.

Looking up at Seulgi, Yeri then said, “Joohyun Unnie likes the sky and the lake.”

It was true. Her Joohyun Unnie always had this fascination over the sky and the lakeside view. It was when she was sitting by the lakeside and doing nothing but simply admiring the view that Joohyun seemed the calmest. It was like she was at a different level of peace, like she was transported to a different world. Yet there was also a hint of sadness. But Yeri knew that whenever Joohyun looked at the lake, she wasn’t sad—not really. Even that sadness was a “sadness” that Joohyun somehow enjoyed. She called it “nostalgia.” “Nostalgia” reminded Joohyun of her mother and all the happy memories she had of her. But Yeri could not understand it despite Joohyun’s attempts on explaining it to her. What exactly is a mother? Yeri has not a single memory of her mother to even fathom the concept of having a mother, much less even feel nostalgia over past memories of her.

“Oh yeah!” Seulgi suddenly rummaged through her backpack and pulled out this black, bulky device.

“What’s that? A camera?” Joohyun asked.

“Wait…” After peeking through something in the device, Seulgi pressed a button, and a clicking sound followed. Soon, a small photograph was printed from the device. Moments later, as they continued walking, the image began to appear on the polaroid photograph.

Upon laying eyes on the photo, Joohyun’s face lit up with a smile. “Oh, wow, that’s not bad.” It was like she had forgotten how she had just told Seulgi to leave them alone earlier.

“I want to see!” Yeri pulled at her sister’s sweater until Joohyun showed it to her. It was a picture of the sunset. To Yeri, it wasn’t that impressive. The real live sunset was still so much prettier. The camera could not capture the colours as beautifully, and those ugly rotting remains of lotus plants sticking out of the water look like scary shadow gremlins in that particular photograph. Yeri did not understand Joohyun’s fascination with it, but at least she was happy with it. Joohyun kept looking at it and looking out to the real sunset again as if she was comparing the amateur's photograph to the real thing.

“You can have it, Unnie,” Seulgi told Joohyun.

“Really?” Joohyun sounded the most ecstatic at that moment. Yeri could tell that her sister was so touched. It was a little weird to see her this genuinely happy over something that wasn’t even that great. (Well, to seven-year-old Yeri the photograph really wasn’t that great.) But at least she was smiling. Joohyun did not smile at other people often so it was nice to see her like this. Yeri always liked it when her sister smiled.

“Unnie, why do you keep cookies in a tree stump?” Seulgi asked as they continued walking along the path home.

“A tree stump? I don’t keep cookies in a tree stump…” She seemed just as confused as Seulgi was about this question.

“Cookies are treasure!” Yeri answered for her. “Joohyun Unnie said in a story that pirates bury treasure! So I buried my treasure there!”

Joohyun liked telling Yeri stories. Of course, those stories were bound to have some sort of influence on her.

“You buried cookies in a tree stump?! When?!” The shock in Joohyun’s voice was evident. Her naturally soft voice grew about ten times louder.

“I hid them when unnie wasn’t looking the other day,” Yeri said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I also put in the key you gave me.”

“Yeri, that key is precious! You need to keep it safe, not bury it! Is that why Seulgi and the other’s found it?!”

“Yeah,” Seulgi chuckled. “So it was Yeri who buried them?”

“I buried the key because it’s precious!” Yeri tried arguing in her own childish seven-year-old sassiness.

“Ugh… Yeri!” the frustrated older sister yelled. “What else have you been burying?!”

 

When they made it back to their little street, Seulgi stopped at the small gate of the flowery house.

“You live here?” Yeri asked, rather surprised. She absolutely loved that house. It had so many pretty flowers. Who wouldn’t want to live there?

“Yeah. Visit me some time?” Bear Unnie’s face had this very sweet, flowery aura to her, just like the house she lived in. Also, she was just like Seungwan when Seungwan talked to little Yeri and told her to come play with her. They were both so nice. They weren’t as old as teenage Joohyun either, so they seemed a lot more like friends to her even though they had a 5-year age gap.

“Yes!”

With the promise of seeing each other again, Yeri bid Seulgi goodbye and entered the rusty old gate into their house. She was a little sad that the day had gone by already, but at least it was a good day. If only it lasted longer…

 

Seeing that Yeri’s energy had dipped after the gates were closed, her older sister lightly poked her bubbly cheek. “Yeri?”

Looking up, she met her older sister’s sweet gaze. In contrast to what she had displayed in her anger the other day, Joohyun’s gaze was not harsh, nor did it show worry. It was not a look of ambiguity or mystery. Rather, those pretty brown eyes comforted Yeri as if they whispered “everything will be alright” over and over. And though they may whisper an even softer “sorry,” Yeri understood that Joohyun gave her this look because she cared. It was a gaze of affection. Every time her sister looked at her like this, she felt this warmth deep in her heart, like all the love in the world was being wrapped around her. Being with Joohyun all the time, she knew that Joohyun never looked at anyone else this way. It was a special look that her sweet sister saved for her.  _Only for her._

“Did you have fun today?” Joohyun asked her.

“Yes.”

Joohyun gave her a shy grin. “Let’s get dinner ready.”

Ignoring the scattered soju bottles and beer cans on their front doorstep, Joohyun unlocked the door to their house and went inside. As usual, it was dark. Flicking the light switch on, the dim fluorescent light flashed and flickered. Seconds later, the flickering settled, but the light was still dim. It had been faulty for as long as Yeri lived there. At least it provided at least a little bit of light.

The small living room was a mess—dirty plastic bowls on the low dining table, a couple more beer cans and spilt liquid on the floor—but then again, the two girls ignored it. Despite being desensitized to the mess of this house, Yeri never liked this place, but she learned not to complain because Joohyun never complained either.

“Yeri, why don’t you take a shower while Unnie cleans up and prepares dinner?”

Yeri obeyed without question. The child then took off her clothes and headed into the bathroom without closing the door. The lightbulb in the bathroom has been dead for a long time, so she took a shower using the dim living room light. She could bring light into the bathroom and close the door, but Joohyun—overprotective as she was—wanted to be able to see her while she was playing with water just to be safe and to make sure she was washing herself properly. Oftentimes Yeri still had trouble rinsing off shampoo and needed help.

While Yeri showered, Joohyun began dumping the plastic bowls and beer cans and other garbage into a trash bag without complaints. She picked it all up within a few minutes and began mopping the floor with a rag before Yeri could even soap her entire body. After cleaning up the living room within five minutes, Joohyun began washing the few dishes stacked in the sink. She knew how to clean up quickly and efficiently. She was a pro at this job. But then again, this teenager worked part-time at a restaurant picking up and cleaning up after others.

After cleaning, Joohyun began boiling water in a pot and took out two packs of ramen. She also chopped some vegetables and placed it in the boiling water. While waiting for the ramen to cook, Joohyun went to help Yeri rinse and dry herself. She also prepared Yeri’s pyjamas and helped her dress up. After all the preparations were done, the two sisters sat on the living room floor and silently ate their ramen.

As Joohyun lifelessly stared at nothing while slowly chewing her noodles, Yeri called out to her. “Unnie?”

Like snapping out of a trance, Joohyun’s shoulders jumped and her eyelids pulled up higher. “Yes?”

Yeri did not say anything; she just giggled. That childish high-pitched laugh resonated through the dimly-lit room. It was contagious. Soon, Joohyun was chuckling too.

“Why are you laughing?” Joohyun asked, laughing along for no reason.

“Hehe, nothing…” The two of them continued giggling and for those few moments, the room seemed so much brighter.

Since they lived together for as long as she could remember, Yeri knew that Joohyun often drifted off during quiet moments. She never wondered why; she assumed that her sister was just like that. During those moments, Joohyun often seemed like she was far away—like she was so far lost in thought. But Yeri knew how to bring her back. She just had to call her and do something silly, and her sister would be back to give her attention in a heartbeat.

Joohyun leaned against the low table and reached out her hand to tap Yeri’s tiny nose. “You little rascal.”

“Watch this, Unnie!” Yeri then lifted her bowl and positioned it against her lips. “I can finish all the soup!”

While the little kid was showing off, Joohyun’s eyes curved up to the shape of crescents as she looked at Yeri with that loving, motherly gaze. When Yeri finished her bowl, Joohyun smiled even wider and said, “Wow, good job. Do you want more?”

Yeri noticed that Joohyun still hasn’t finished her bowl.

“Here.” Joohyun lifted and twirled some noodles using her chopsticks and transferred them into Yeri’s bowl. She also poured some of her soup for Yeri.

“Yay!”

 

Once dinner was finished, Joohyun began washing the dishes again and made Yeri brush her teeth. Later after Joohyun had finished taking out the trash and readying herself for bed, she took out a key from her pocket and inserted it into the lock of a door that was partly covered by a huge wooden cupboard. Beyond that door was a smaller room. Using a flashlight to illuminate the room, she found a black switch dangling by a wire on the wall and switched it on. Immediately, the room was lit up by a cute flower-shaped wall lamp with a soft orange light that was strong enough to illuminate the small enclosed space. Unlike the rest of the house, this room was neat and tidy. Opening the big wardrobe cabinet that took up a fourth of the room space, Joohyun pulled out one electric heating mat and a big fluffy sleeping mat. She also took out two pillows and laid them on the floor.

“Wee!” Yeri ran into the room and fell flat on the cushioned floor. Getting up, she took one of the pillows and gave it a tight hug. “Mmm… it smells nice!” The pillows and the sheets always smelled nice. The newly washed clothes also smelled really nice. Sometimes, she would open the wardrobe just to get a whiff of that pleasant flowery scent. This was the only part of their house that she liked.

After switching off the dim living room light, Joohyun joined Yeri in the small room and closed the door. Then she pressed the small button on the knob with her thumb, locking the door once again. Although it was barely 9 p.m., Joohyun began to yawn lengthy yawns. She then lay beside Yeri on the floor and held the polaroid photograph before her face. For a while, Yeri just watched sister stare at the photograph. Joohyun had this tired, yet somewhat happily satisfied look as she stared at the polaroid. Again, Yeri wasn’t sure why Joohyun liked it so much. After staring at the photo, Joohyun put it under her pillow and closed her eyes.

Yeri, who was still very much awake, snuggled closer to her sister and lightly pinched her sister’s cheek. “Joohyun Unnie…”

“Hm…?” Joohyun’s eyebrows jerked up but her eyes remained closed.

“Joohyun Unnie,” Yeri repeated.

“What?” She spoke but her eyes were still closed.

“Joohyun Unnie.”

“Yes, Bae Yeri, what do you want?” Her eyes were still closed.

To solve this problem, Yeri then crawled on top of her and tried pry open her sister’s eyes with her small fingers. “Unnie, wake up!”

“Ugh, what?!” Joohyun swatted Yeri’s hand off her face and pushed her to the side to get her off of her. Yeri really got her attention now.

In a soft, shy voice, Yeri then said, “Can you tell me a bedtime story?”

Although Joohyun was irked by Yeri’s annoying attempt to open her eyes, she immediately got over it and just sighed with a nod. “Alright.”

Yeri quickly lay back down and snuggled close to her sister, who had just positioned herself to lie on her side so she could see Yeri better.

“A long, long time ago,” Joohyun began in a soft, soothing voice. “There once was a Princess named Bae Yeri.”

Yeri giggled. She loved hearing the soft breathy voice of her sister more than anything. Just like her sister’s lovely gaze, her voice was like a bubble of comfort enclosing all around her. Her whispers reminded her that she was safe—that nobody was going to ever harm her as long as Joohyun was still breathing.

“Princess Yeri lived far away… Far beyond the lakeside. Far in this wonderful, magical kingdom.” With a gentle hand, Joohyun tenderly caressed Yeri’s forehead and ran her fingers through the fine strands of her dark hair. Then she hovered her hand above Yeri’s eyes, making her closer them. “Close your eyes, Yeri. Imagine it.”

Yeri closed her eyes tightly. However, when Joohyun lifted her hand off of Yeri, the kid tried to peek with one eye. Seeing that she was cheating, Joohyun playfully tapped Yeri’s eyebrow. “Nope, you have to close your eyes,” she said with a chuckle.

When Yeri finally obeyed, Joohyun held her closer to her chest and lightly kissed her forehead. Yeri liked it when her older sister cuddled her. Joohyun’s touch was feather-like and was even gentler than the mountain breeze; her hugs were warmer than the thickest winter blanket. She knew her sister would never hurt her. Her sister will always love her, and she loved her too. She loved her Joohyun Unnie very much. It was the closest to a mother’s love she could ever receive. And maybe she needed not to know of such a concept, for Joohyun already gave her everything and more.

“The kingdom wasn’t the biggest, and not everyone knew of it, but it was the prettiest place any princess could ever wish for. It was hidden deep in the forest, but it wasn’t dark. The warm rays of sunlight always seeped through as a blessing from heaven. The streams and stones colourfully sparked under the light. The songs of singing birds made everyone cheerful. The flowers bloomed beautifully all throughout the year, and the cold, bad winter never came.

“Princess Yeri lived in the castle at the center of that kingdom. In the castle, the rooms were painted bright colours—pink, yellow, and orange… She had lots of friends and toys… Every time she was hungry, a huge buffet of dessert was laid out for her in the castle. There were cakes, cupcakes, candies, milkshakes, ice cream…”

“And cookies?” Yeri said in her little voice while her eyes were still closed.

“Ah, yes. There were lots of cookies too,” Joohyun chuckled. “She was always happy, always smiling, and nothing ever made her sad…”

***

“Yeri, wake up.”

There was a light tapping of a hand on her lap. Her eyelids fluttered open, and a yawn escaped from her mouth.

“Yeri,” she heard her sister repeat her name.

The room was dark, and the flower wall-lamp was switched off. But if her older sister was waking her up like this, then that only meant one thing—it was morning. Somewhere in the middle of Joohyun’s fairytale, she had fallen asleep, and before she knew it, it was already a new day. It did not seem like morning though. Usually, it was difficult to tell the time in their house because all the windows were shut and covered with heavy, dark curtains.

When she stepped out into their living room again, it was the same old scene: the living room that Joohyun had tidied up yesterday night was once again a mess—as if she never cleaned it in the first place. The beer cans, the leftover food, the soju bottles… But the two girls ignored it as if it was something that happened all the time because it  _did_  happen all the time. Someone else lived in this house, and  _he_  was the one who was causing this mess. To Yeri, he was nothing but a scary monster. However, Joohyun wasn’t afraid of him. So as long as Joohyun was with her, she never had to fear him either. Thank goodness he only came around when they were already fast asleep so Yeri rarely ever saw him.

Since Yeri was still half-asleep, Joohyun dragged her to the bathroom and washed her. After dressing Yeri up and tying her hair, Joohyun also readied herself and dressed in her middle school uniform. By then it was already 8 a.m. Leaving the mess in their living room, the two girls quickly headed out to begin their day.

“Aw Seungwan Unnie isn’t here,” Yeri said as she walked with Joohyun down their street.

“She usually leaves earlier in the morning,” Joohyun told her. Just like Park Soo-Young, Joohyun seemed to know a lot about the people in town too, even the newer neighbours who just arrived months ago.

“Hmph…” Yeri sulked as she stared at the blue gate of Wendy’s house. Although Seungwan promised to play with her, she still had not fulfilled that promise. “Can I play with her and Bear Unnie again?”

“Um…,” Joohyun looked straight ahead until they reached the fork in the road at the end of the street. She seemed to be thinking about it. This was a good sign. If Joohyun was even thinking about her request that meant she might get what she wanted. She knew her sister was always thoughtful like that. Joohyun may say no a thousand times until one day she would give in. Just like the pretty flower-shaped wall-lamp in their hidden room. Joohyun had told her for the longest time that she wasn't going to buy it, but she eventually did. Yesterday, Joohyun had also told Seulgi to leave, but she eventually allowed Seulgi to play anyway. She was a fickle, indecisive unnie sometimes. “You really want to play with them?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

“Why?”

“I just want to. They’re fun.” Yeri never had other kids to play with except Joohyun. So when Seulgi played with her yesterday, she was extra happy. Yeri was a very friendly kid; it’s too bad she did not have a lot of chances to make more friends up until that point.

“You think Seulgi and Seungwan are fun?”

“Yeah!”

After turning left at the end of the street, Yeri suddenly exclaimed, “Unnie! Cookies!” Every time she passed by the small store at the end of their street, she always wanted to buy snacks. 

“You still have some at the hideout.” Joohyun pulled at her sister’s hand and held it tighter to keep her shorter legs from slowing down and getting distracted by junk food. This time, Joohyun did not even take time to think; she immediately shut down the idea of buying more cookies.

“But we haven’t had breakfast,” Yeri whined. As much as Yeri loved cookies, her older sister did not always treat her to all the processed sugar she wanted. It was only in those imaginary fairytales that she could get a whole castle filled with sweets. There wasn’t a genie or a fairy godmother would magically provide her with all the cookies she wanted either.

“You can eat when we get to the restaurant.”

“But I don’t like noodles!”

“What do you mean? We just had ramen noodles last night and you ate a lot! You always said that Taeyeon Unnie’s noodles are the best!”

Every weekday, Joohyun and Yeri took the bus all the way downtown to their cousins’ place. Yeri loved riding cars; she loved sight-seeing even though there was nothing much to see in town except for a few low buildings and vast rice fields. Whenever she saw something interesting, she would giggle and point and tell her old sister all about it.

However, whenever that ride ended, the smile on her face immediately would turn into a sour scowl. She knew that the moment she stepped out of that bus her sister would have to  _leave_  her. Joohyun would leave her, and she wouldn’t see her for hours. To a young child who adored no one and clung to no one but her older sister, this was never a pleasant experience.

_Why does unnie have to go to school? Why does unnie have to leave me? Why can’t we go together?_

_“Unnie needs to study. You can’t come with me. Middle school is for older girls and boys.”_ Seven-year-old Yeri never could understand. Unfortunately, she had to deal with it. Though the world may be too sophisticated for a young growing child, that still gave her no pass in submitting to its complicated ways. Everyone needed to follow rules whether they understood them or not.

“Come on, Yeri.” Upon landing on the concrete sidewalk, Joohyun would often lightly play with her soft cheeks to get her to smile again. “Smile, for me? Okay?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No. I hate you,” the kid furled her brows and crossed her arms to look like she was furious.

“I don’t hate you,” her sister often told her whenever she was giving her an attitude. “I’ll be back later and we can go to the hideout and eat cookies later.”

Although she was still not done displaying her anger at her older sister, Joohyun dragged her into the restaurant anyway. She wanted to make a fuss and refuse, but she knew that this was the time when nothing she did could ever change her sister’s mind. Joohyun Unnie had to go to school during weekdays; there was no way out of it. And although Yeri had never been to school, she hated it already. Anything that took her sister away from her was bad in her opinion.

When they entered the restaurant, they saw their cousin Kibum sitting at one of the tables. He immediately waved a hand at them with this big bright grin on his face. Just like Joohyun, he was also wearing his middle-school uniform. They went to the same middle school—the only middle school in town. “Good morning! Hi Joohyun! Hi Yeri!”

“Where’s Taeyeon Unnie?” Joohyun asked. Kibum pointed to the wide-open office door and there they spotted their older cousin Taeyeon doing some paperwork.

“Oh, hello, children,” Taeyeon pulled down the glasses sitting on her nose and greeted in a slightly old- fashioned manner. She acted more like an aunt than a cousin to them, even though her baby face made her look like a teenager (and a female version of Key, but she was already in her twenties though). Then she eyed Joohyun and asked, “Headin’ off to school, huh?”

“Yes,” Joohyun said timidly. She may act like she always called the shots whenever it was just her and Yeri, but when there were other people, she was quieter and spoke in hushed tones.

Looking at the wall clock on the left wall of the room, Taeyeon said, “You better go on ahead then.” After that, she stood up and said to Yeri, “So, what should Taeyeon Unnie do with you today?” At this point her voice that turned into that of a weirdly funny kindergarten teacher. Yeri wasn’t amused though. She did not say anything and just hid behind Joohyun’s legs. Joohyun stepped to the side though and lightly pushed Yeri to keep her from hiding.

“Please take good care of Yeri,” said Joohyun.

“Of course. As always.” Taeyeon nodded and patted Yeri’s head. Yeri looked up at the two unnies and frowned.

“We goin’?” Kibum had slung his bag on his shoulder, also ready to get going.

When Joohyun went with Kibum to the restaurant entrance, Yeri sulked along and followed them there. After waving a final goodbye, Joohyun had left for school. Now Yeri was all alone with Taeyeon.

Crouching down to meet her eye level, Taeyeon asked her, “So, are you hungry? Should I cook something for you? Noodles?”

“No.”

Taeyeon shook her head and sighed. Then she began to talk to her like she would talk to an older person. “You still don’t like me very much do you? Sorry, I guess I can be boring sometimes. But you gotta be an adult and work and be boring to earn money, you know?”

Yeri didn’t respond. She was too young to care about that stuff.

“Ugh, what am I talking about, of course, you don’t know…”

It wasn’t that Yeri didn’t like Taeyeon or noodles. Taeyeon was always nice (though sometimes quite odd) and her noodles were a hundred times better than the simple instant ramen Joohyun usually made. Yeri’s problem was that she did not want Joohyun to leave her. Every time Joohyun left, she felt lost. Whenever Joohyun was gone, she could not wait to see her again.  _Why does unnie have to leave me?_ It was always difficult. She wanted to be with Joohyun all the time, but that was not always possible. At times like this, the only person around to deal with a very frustrated and upset child was none other than Taeyeon. So, yes, Yeri never hated Taeyeon, but she always ended up taking out all her frustrations on her.

“Your sister is one hell of an extraordinary human being, you know that?” Taeyeon continued rambling at her. “Even in your situation, she’s so strong and she works really hard. She’s really one of a kind.” The she lightly patted Yeri’s head again. “I hope things get better for both of you. You kids deserve better.”

***

**_Present Time: October 2018_ **

“If you hate this place so much, why don’t you just leave?” Haechan asked her. Again, this was simply to provoke her; not because he was actually curious about her answer.

Yeri looked up at the dark starless sky. “I don’t know.”

It was the same mind-boggling question she had to live with every single day:

_Why? Why didn’t Joohyun Unnie do anything about it?_

_Why didn’t she ever fight back against him?_

_Why didn’t she leave?_

**_Why did she have to die instead of me?_ **

“I guess we all have toxic situations we can’t easily run away from,” Yeri added. “I’m just like my sister. I’m a coward. She’s a coward. The world is a horrible place, and she left me here all alone. Now I have nothing.”

“Tch,” he scoffed. “Yeah, I get it. You’ve got this horrible past and that’s why you’re acting this way. But your sister’s death got you to a better place and into a better family—your cousins. Can’t you stop and think how much better off you are now?”

“My past is not horrible as you think,” she said. Then she stood up and picked up her umbrella lying on the ground.

_It was because she was with me. Joohyun Unnie was with me. That was enough to make me happy. Now she’s gone, and there’s no way I can be better off now._

“Hey, where are you going?” Haechan also stood up to follow her down the hill.

“Don’t follow me!” And so, she left him there and headed off on her own again.

***

“That Kim Yerim…” Park Soo-Young muttered. They had been wandering around for hours until they finally gave up on the chase and did nothing but loiter in the car while watching the sunset from the lakeside. “You think she would have been caught by Taeyeon Unnie by now?”

“If you think about it, it really is none of our business,” Wendy said while fumbling with her smartphone.

“You really think she’s Joohyun Unnie’s sister?”

“Who else would it be? I do remember that she moved in with Taeyeon’s family after Joohyun Unnie died. Maybe she changed her name too. It’s not impossible.” Down on her phone screen was a search list of news articles on deaths and murders in Yeonsan. She kept scrolling and scrolling, but it seemed she could not find the article she was looking for. Giving up on it, she put down her phone and looked out at the evening twilight. “Whether she’s Bae Yeri or not, I just can’t help but think of that little kid from many years ago. I always felt sorry for her. Losing Joohyun…”

“I wish I could have treated her better.” Soo-Young’s fist lightly hit the steering wheel with a thud. “Do you think maybe she would agree to look for the time capsule with us if she does remember us? She might want to know what Joohyun had hidden there with us back then.”

“Don't you think maybe that's a little insensitive? Maybe she doesn't even want to remember,” Seulgi suddenly began as she stared at the changing colours of the evening sky. She had been so quiet the entire time that it almost startled the other two to hear her voice again. 

“You're saying that because  _you_  don't want to remember. You're not her. Not everyone is like you,” retaliated Soo-Young. Again, they were sparking another bickering battle.

“There was this saying that I heard when I was studying in Europe,” Seulgi said, still staring at the sunset before her. “People think that nature is a subject to be drawn and painted, but in reality, nature is an artist— _the_  artist. Nature paints the sky blue or grey or orange. Nature paints the trees green or brown. I think life is probably like that.”

Soo-Young turned to Seulgi on her left and raised a brow. “Where the hell is this sudden philosophical burst coming from and what does this have anything to do with Yeri?”

“You think you’re the one making your life happen, but in reality, life is making things happen to you. I feel like it’s like that most of the time. I wish I wasn’t so naturally weak. If I was naturally stronger, I’d probably have fewer regrets in life. I could have helped Joohyun Unnie and Yeri, but I couldn’t, and over time more and more regrets piled up after that. Now I have no idea what to do with myself. I probably can never face Yeri.”

“Sorry, but I have to disagree with that,” Soo-Young said firmly. Wendy was also about to put in her two cents about this situation too, but she flinched when Soo-Young began to raise her voice like a commander again. “I think you do have some control over your own life, Seulgi Unnie. Sure, there are things that can’t be helped, and that includes your past regrets, but you can’t just sit around now and wallow about all the horrible things that happened to you. Nature is unpredictable, but you don’t have to let it control you. If you really want to be strong, then do something about it and quit whining. Nobody can build muscles without exercising and pushing through hell. Quit being pathetic and pick yourself up.”

Seulgi simply shook her head and sighed. “That’s easier said than done.”

“Nobody said it was easy,” Soo-Young said without a hint of compassion. 

“Guys, can you both just please stop arguing?” Wendy said, pushing her body in between the two front seats of the car. “Soo-Young, you're being so insensitive! And Seulgi, you're being such a downer!”

“Sorry...” Seulgi muttered. “You know what? Maybe I need to take a break from all of this.” Pulling the latch, Seulgi opened the car door and went outside.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Soo-Young called out.

"Out for a walk!" And with that, Seulgi slammed the car door and left.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:  
> Sometimes I don't even understand my own characters  
> I'm doing a lot of research so I can get to know them better and write their story better  
> But it's so hard sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing them justice...  
> Human psychology is so hard
> 
> Gosh. They're not even real. What the heck am I talking about


End file.
